12.14.2005

Eloi Eloi Lama Sabachthani

The internet has been all a buzz recently with discussion of how bad "My Humps" is. You can find my contribution here.

It is time to rally the troops, the next front is Trace Adkins's "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk." And while it might not seem possible, let me assure you that the song is actually worse than the title implies.

Let us start with the lyrics. Here is the chorus:

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
While it may seem excessive to quote the whole chorus, everyone really has to read these lyrics, I can't just leave it up to the chance that you might follow the link. I just don't know what to say. I have been reading these lyrics over and over again trying to come up with a joke, but they are really just so awful that they make me want to cry.

As for the music, I have only heard the song a few times so I don't know it that well. There is little to no melody, Trace decides to almost rap this song more than anything else. The background tracks are a mix of hip hop and country, sort of like Big and Rich, but this song makes them look like geniuses, no easy task.

I am going to say it right now, this song is worse than "My Humps." It offends even the most basic levels of taste. While you might be curious, let me implore you not to go download, or stream, or listen to this song in any way. This song makes me wonder if the rapture happened and I got left behind.

p.s. The level of blasphemy that I accomplish with the title to this post shocks even myself.

4 comments:

  1. I don't understand the blasphemy. I guess that's just how hellbound I am.

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  2. I was just thinking about that song this morning, after I ran across another Trace Adkins video on CMT. That is one of those songs that just begs to be appreciated by the lowest common denominator... which a lot of popular country does anymore. Big and Rich, Toby Keith, et al and et cetera.

    It always kills me when someone writes a song where you can tell they wanted to make a catchphrase out of it. It's not "this is going to be a great melody" but "this is going to look great on a t-shirt." Music should not be reduced to the level of a skit that comes on SNL at 12:30. There's a lot of hip-hop that does it too (see: Humps, My), which makes Trace adkin's song a low water mark in cross-promotional soullessness.

    And that's my unorganized rant.

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  3. Jesus shouts " Eloi Eloi Lama Sabachthani" on Good Friday when he is on the cross. It means, "My God, My God, why hast thou foresaken me?"

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  4. That song where the chorus goes "shake that laffy taffy" is pretty damn horrific also. And you know they just wanted "laffy taffy" to catch on.

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