Hello...

Gosh, it has been a while since I have been here. Between attempting to keep my band together, and a child-like ability to be fascinated by free internet flash games, I just haven't had the time to write on this site. Well that all changes today!

First, because I know that you all are fascinated by my digestive system, I recently had a blood test to determine if I have Celiac Disease. Throughout this whole medical situation I have attempted to make a series of compromises. For example, I would have preferred depression to lactose intolerance. Well now, I am really pulling for lactose intolerance, because this Celiac thing looks like even less fun. And while a lot of things have dairy, I suspect that even more things have wheat. Also, I am not really comfortable with the thought of my body attacking itself.

The owner of my restaurant recently sold the place. It has been a hard year or so for her, and I am glad that she is finally free of the restaurant. She worked harder, and had to endure more crap, than anyone should and I wish her all of the best. It was funny, one the last night, most of the staff gathered at the restaurant. As we were saying goodbye, I realized that this had become more than a job to all of us. There were plenty of hugs, and exchanging of e-mails and addresses. It felt more like the last day of school than the last day of waiting tables. This feeling is a tribute to my former owner. Everyone worked there because they loved her. So congratulations Jefa!

In a funny way, I am going to miss the restaurant. Sure I was busy all the time, but I got use to it. Last night, I came got home around 5:30, and did nothing. By 9:00 I felt like it was bed time. I am just not use to having that much time to myself on a weekday. Granted, as compared to the wheat stomach eating disease, this is a pleasant problem to have.

In more exciting news, my band is a finalist to get the last spot on the FettoFest. The competition will take place this Sunday at Growlers Pub in Gaithersburg. Those unable to attend will be able to listen to the performance on 94.7, or on The Globe's website.

And in actually exciting news. My friend Darren is getting married to the lovely Emilie in Belgium in September, so I get to go to Europe. I will be spending three days in Paris before departing to Brussels. It should be a lot of fun. For example, I think I might be staying in a castle for a few nights.

So that is it for now. I think I should be congratulated for creating a remarkably boring post out of actually interesting activities.

First, I would like to thank everyone for coming out to the Velvet Lounge last Friday. It is nice to see that you all don't hate me, and are not afraid of FRIDAY THE 13TH! So thank you again.

For those who missed the show, shame on you. Don't you know that my band is endorsed by the Atlantic? Also, I accidentally knocked my keyboard off of the stand and had to finish playing the song with it on the ground. This was bound to happen given that I violently play it with a tambourine. The problem is that I like the effect of the keyboard falling and thus this "accident" might have to happen at every concert.

It looks like I am going to start writing about sports for DCist. I will probably start covering the Nationals in August, although when I agreed to the gig it looked like the team would be historically bad rather than just mundanely bad, so I feel a little gypped. Anyway, my first post is up, and it is about Tony "The Tiger" Thompson. He is a left-handed boxer from DC, who just won a big fight to get a title shot. My hope is that I can parlay this DCist thing into free tickets to boxing matches in the area.

Speaking of historically bad, it finally happened. Congratulations to the Phillies, and the wonderful sports fans of Philadelphia. Let me wish you 10,000 more.

I really like my neighborhood a lot, and I am excited when new businesses move into it. For example, I box because there is a gym about a block from my apartment. I have started Yoga because a studio opened up within a block of my apartment as well. I am excited that Corduroy is moving nearby, and all of the other restaurants that have and will be opening up. That said, I am a little worried about this place. A bar/club/whatever that only caters to members sounds a little Smith Pointy to me. Also, looking at the application, I am pretty sure that I can't: a) gain membership, or b) afford it. This has me a little worried, and I might have to investigate more.

Dearly Beloved...

First, in the "Things I Don't Want To Do at 9:00 am After a Bachelor Party" category, let me add "smell items in the company refrigerator to determine what is giving the office the unique aroma of dead rotting animals." Fortunately, I prepared for work today by not reaching the level of debauchery appropriate for the event last night.

Second, the band is playing at the Velvet Lounge on Friday, July 13th with Lights Resolve and Black & White Jacksons. This is a concert that we would really like a good amount of people to come out to, and most of you live withing 5 blocks of the club, so it would be nice to see you all out. Besides, you are not going to let a stupid superstition scare you away, are you? The only thing that I will be able to conclude is that you are a coward if you don't come out next Friday. Or you hate me. Those are your only two options.

So, what else has happened since we last spoke?

It looks like I am lactose intolerant. I haven't had dairy in a month and I have felt a lot better. As much as I want to believe that I am just very depressed, it looks like milk is the culprit. I have learned is the dairy is in anything worth eating. I am willing to bet that your favorite food contains dairy. I go back to the doctor on Monday, and then we start "re-introducing" dairy. There are degrees of lactose intolerance, and I will have the fun job of figuring out what I can and can not eat. I guess that means drinking milk and waiting around for side effects, which should be a lot of fun.

What has been fun is the amount of foods containing dairy that both Tommy and my mother now like to offer me. I realize that I use to eat a lot of dairy, particularly cheese, and they are not use to these restrictions yet, but it is funny none the less. Typically they offer me something, like ice cream. I respond that I can't eat it, and then they have a brief confused look on their face before they remember my intolerance and then apologize. I seriously think Tommy went from never offering me ice cream, to offering it to me 3 days in a row after my diagnosis. It was pretty great.

Also, I want to strangle people at my restaurant who order American cheese on hamburgers when we have so many other worthy cheeses available.

It appears that I have entered into the "everyone you know is getting married" stage of my life. I went to a wedding party last weekend, and I have a wedding this weekend. Two weddings in September, and others that I can't attend. Given that Hugh Grant's character name in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was Charles, I have decided to imagine that my life is a British romantic comedy. For the record, it is thoughts like these that give me hope that depression can beat out lactose intolerance as the cause of my stomach ailments.

At the party last weekend I learned that there is a beach less than 30 miles away from D.C. While I wouldn't bring my surfboard, it is a lovely spot. While I was out there I also stopped by Annapolis, which I frequently forget a) is close to D.C., and b) exists. It was nice, kinda like Old Town but slightly younger and more energetic. I say that, but you must realize that I saw about 15-20 guys in seersucker suits in the span of about 45 minutes, so only slightly younger and more energetic.

My Week...

Well I have had a fantastic couple of days. Where to begin?

First, it appears that I have contracted some kind of recurring disease. I won't go into detail, but I get these attacks that are fairly unpleasant and come without warning. I have been to see my doctor, twice!, and he finally got me on some medication that seems to be working. Apparently I have to take this medication for 2 months. I am not very happy about this. An unfortunate side effect is that this has made me more anti-social than normal, which is quite a feat. I wasn't even sure that was possible

When I went to get my prescription filled I learned that my insurance doesn't cover the drug in question, but they suggested a different but similar drug. I found it fascinating that my insurance, people who I have never seen, had the gall to overrule the doctor who had examined me. It is really amazing. Anyway, after a few calls back and forth between me, my doctor, and my pharmacist, we eventually all agreed on a prescription that wouldn't cost me $160 to fill. Hopefully it will also address my symptoms.

I decided that if this prescription doesn't work, my band is going to start playing Huey Lewis's "I Want a New Drug." Also, I then have to see a specialist!

In other news, while walking to work last Tuesday I got a ticket for entering an intersection after the signal had changed. The walk signal had changed to the flashing hand right right before I entered the crosswalk. Does anyone know why I should pay this ticket? I pay parking tickets so as not to get booted, but what are the repercussions for not paying this? Lead shoes? (Note, I think my ability to keep up my sense of humor despite these trials is admirable.)

I also got to play a concert while sick on Tuesday. Which is really not a lot of fun. The upside was that I left right after we got off stage, and thus didn't have to move any equipment.

Also, a speaker has blown in my car, thus reducing all music to a muddy distorted mess. Just in time for the drive down to the beach! I would really like to get this fixed, but I really can't afford it. Music is pretty much the only thing that keeps me (relatively) sane.

This problem is exacerbated because I have to drive back to the D.C. area to play a concert on Tuesday, May 29th. Apparently we "won" the show at T.T. Reynolds that I was sick for, and now play in the local music finals on that Tuesday. So I will be driving back to D.C. on Tuesday, and then back to the beach on Wednesday. Then I have to be in Baltimore for a gig on June 2nd. This will be a lot of driving with broken speakers. Maybe there is a good chop shop near my apartment where I can purchase "used" car speakers.

In real good news. I thought the Arcade Fire were really good on Friday. I had the "benefit" of never seeing them before, and thus nothing to compare them to, but I enjoyed it a lot. Also, Michel Richard's Central is a really good restaurant. It isn't even that expensive, well compared to Citronelle at least.

So that has been my week. The main problem is that I should avoid alcohol due to my medical condition. I have decided that avoid = "no whiskey, and slightly fewer beers." Of course, this has removed a my major coping mechanism, thus enhancing each of these problems. Sobriety is a curse unto itself, and almost too much to bear given the my other circumstances.

Ominous Signs at RFK...

And I am not referring to the score.

Opening day was good. The Nats lost, but if that surprised you then you are in for a long season. What is funny is that the team, or at least the ownership, know how bad things could get for this team. For example:

When I arrived at my seat, there was a video preview of the new stadium, including descriptions of various luxury boxes and seating arrangements. This was combined with the graphics of construction girders that adorned all of the images on the scoreboard. The announcer welcomed us to the last opening day at RFK stadium. Not one pitch had been thrown yet, and we were already encouraged to look forward to next year.

The guess the year trivia question was, "In what year did 'Major League' come out?" I am going to let the IMDB plot description speak for itself:

"The new owner of the Cleveland Indians puts together a purposely horrible team so they'll lose and she can move the team."

Hmm....

Finally, the slogan for this season is "Pledge Your Allegiance." One will earn their fan stripes every time they show up at the ballpark this year.

Actually, I don't think the season will be all that bad this year. Expectations have been lowered to the point where this team can, and probably will, trip over them.

Friday Miscellany...

This whole voting rights thing has made me so angry that I can barely contain myself. Never mind that we are fighting for legislation that will still leave us short of full representation, but the way that the Republicans derailed the bill only highlights why it is so necessary. The fact that people who we didn't vote for can change our gun laws proves why we need someone on the Hill that represents us.

I am pretty sure that I am going to take off of work to participate in this, and you should too.

I really like DCist's answer to Representative Charles Boustany. I am still figuring out what issue I want to bring up with my new Representative. I wish that we could go farther. I am envisioning a day when all DC residents don't work. I would imagine there are enough residents working on the Hill, as Waiters, Cab Drivers, Metro Operators, Security Guards, etc. to make life markedly more difficult for the congressmen who domineer over us.

In related news, D.C.'s own These United States are the Thursday session over at Daytrotter and you should go give a listen. It seems to me that D.C. is starting to develop a pretty good, non-Dischord, music scene. It is nice to see.

Finally, due to Catherine's prodding, and boredom at work, I now have a Facebook profile. You should go over an be my friend. Full disclosure, I mainly plan on using it to harass people to come to my concerts.

UPDATE: Apparently it was Congressman Louie Gohmert that brilliantly opined:

"I would submit to you that Washington, D.C. is also the only city in the entire country that every Senator and every Member of Congress has a vested interest in seeing that it works properly, that water works, sewer works, and no other city in America has that."

I for one have noticed a fair number of potholes around that I am sure that Louie wants to hear about.

Also, I forgot to add that Matt is not welcome in my apartment if he is packing.

Donors Choose...

So this hasn't been a great week. Not a bad "get me a fifth of scotch" week, but a week filled with a series of minor annoyances that added up. I had a bunch of things I planned on accomplishing this week, and managed to complete none of them. It was irritating, and I am glad that the week is over.

The one bright spot was a package that I received from Donors Choose. Donors Choose is a non-profit organization that collects proposals for materials or programs from public school teachers and then asks for donations on their website to fund the proposals. You can read more about the organization here. You can search for proposals by area of the country, subject, and/or price range. One can also fully or partially fund a proposal. The non-profit use to go by the name Means for Dreams.

I came across the site a few months ago during my internet travels. I liked the idea behind it, and found that a Kindergarten teacher at a school near me had put in a proposal for a laminating machine so that her teaching materials would last longer. I decided to fund this proposal, put in my credit card information, and then didn't think much else about it.

Well a few days ago, I got a package in the mail with a lovely handwritten thank you note from the teacher, thank you cards from the students, and pictures of the students. I also got this poster.

It just makes me smile.

So let me encourage you to wander over and check out the site. We hear a lot of negative things about the state of public schools, particularly in here in the District, and this website is certainly not going to solve the big problems that our schools are facing. But if their are still teachers who still care enough to write proposals and go through the vetting process that the non-profit uses, and enough people who stumble across the site and help out with whatever they can, then maybe there is some hope.

I Walk the Line...

An Attorney from my office wanted to go to a hearing this morning. In order to ensure that he got in, he sent me early to get a place in line for him. Early, as in 2 1/2 hours before the the hearing started early. I must admit though, the experience was kind of amazing.

I don't think that many people are aware of this, but here in Washington we have professional line sitters. There is a whole group of people who are hired by lobbyists, law firms, and the like to wait in line so that they can get into hearings. I learned that most of them sleep outside of the House and Senate Office Buildings in order to get good spots. The result is that they have large bags to hold their stuff, and lots of ratty sweaters and layers on. Frankly, they look slightly homeless.

I managed to be the second person in line for my hearing, but another hearing in the same hall had about 14 line sitters already waiting at 7:30. The guy at the front of that line spent about an hour snoring loudly, leaving me to wonder just how long he had been there. I don't blame him, the Rayburn has some lovely leather couches for people to wait on. The guy in front of me seemed to be in charge of some of the line sitters. He was frequently on his cellphone and got up a lot to check on people throughout the building to make sure that all the necessary spots were saved.

He also told me about a very popular hearing last summer that a lot his clients wanted to go to. Apparently one of his competitors started the line for it 3 weeks before the hearing started, so he and his team had to spend 3 straight weeks in line. I am not sure exactly how this works, how can one group can stand in a line and declare that this is the line for the hearing in a few weeks? What stopped my fellow line sitter from standing somewhere else and declaring that the line? He spoke of this line with the same pride that someone has when they talk about marathons they have completed. He also got a lot of overtime for those weeks, which he was also happy about.

I did notice that the woman who was setting up my hearing frequently asked the guy which line was for which hearing, and how many people were waiting. I guess the House staff relies on the line sitters to keep the order.

This brings me to my next observation. Line sitters are very nice to each other. Once you are in line, you have saved that spot. People are free to get up and go to the bathroom, or get breakfast, or sub people in, once the spot has been saved. They all seem to know each other, and are very talkative. I talked with another professional line sitter about Sodoku solving strategies, and another offered me some of her popcorn and told me that she was worried about the potatoes that she planted earlier this week.

As the morning went on suits filled out the line and replaced the line sitters, and "Who do you work for?" replaced opinions on the Wizards and recent movies. The Rayburn was restored to its staid conservative self. Frankly, I liked it better at 7:30 in the morning.

These Are Your Rights...

I have to admit that I like Anthony Williams. Despite his various failings, he will leave the District better off than when he took over and I think that he should be applauded for that. That said, I also agree with Mark Plotkin. When asked in his chat yesterday what Mayor Williams's biggest failure was he answered:

"Never challenged our colonial status. We still don't have a vote in the House or Senate. All our laws can be overturned by Congress. We don't pick our own judges or prosecuting attorney. More than anything, the Mayor sitting in the box at the State of the Union year after year, he reminded me of a potted plant."

That is why it is nice to see Fenty write this in today's Post. Fenty also refuses to sit in the box at the State of the Union until the District gets voting rights. Sure that is mainly symbolic and will probably go unnoticed, but it is better than Williams ever did.

Also, I wanted to highlight this brilliant exchange from President Bush's November 8 press conference, the Post's Michael Fletcher is asking the questions:

Q Thank you, sir. There's a bill that could come before the lame-duck session of Congress, that would extend voting rights to the District of Columbia, in Congress, and also give an extra seat to Utah. You've been passionate about democracy in Iraq. Why not here in D.C., and would you support this bill?

THE PRESIDENT: I haven't -- it's the first I've heard of it. I didn't know that's going to come up from the lame duck.

Q -- Congressman Davis's bill.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, well, it may or may not come up. I'm trying to get the Indian deal done, the Vietnam deal done, and the budgets done. But I'll take a look at it. It's the first I've heard of it. Thanks.

Others have noted that Bush was lying about this answer and has heard of the bill before. Mark Plotkin claims that Bush has been briefed on the bill by Congressman Davis himself.

It is really shameful that residents of the District do not have representation in Congress. If you have a representative, please call them and urge them to support Congressman Davis's bill. You can go to DCVote for more information.

Fight for Old D.C.!

It is important to remember when watching the Redskins this year that the whole NFL is out to get us. Not just the teams, but the officials and the league office all the way up to Roger Goodell are trying to take the Redskins down. It is also important to remember that I am a sore loser.

One of my favorite theories was put forth on the radio by Sam Huff. The Arizona Cardinals were once members of the NFC East with the Redskins. Then in 2002 the league moved them to NFC West. As everyone knows, the Cardinals are not the best team in the league. One may think that the move had to do with "geography" when in reality is was an elaborate plot to take away 2 wins from the Redskins each year.

This year, the league got really sneaky and screwed the Redskins using the black art of scheduling. Jason La Canfora outlines the dastardly plot here, but the gist is that the Redskins are one of only 4 teams to play a team after its bye week 3 times. What is worse, the Redskins are callously forced to play all of these teams away, and two of those teams are division rivals! I ask you, what chance do the forces of good and truth have when faced with such unconscionable evil?

Also, and I might not be remembering this correctly, but I am pretty sure that Paul Tagliabue put a gun to Joe Gibbs head and made him sign and play Mark Brunell.

At least this keeps him off of the field...

Like many, I am excited about the Democratic victory yesterday. But I must admit that my excitement is tempered by the fact that Heath Shuler is returning to Washington. While Ezra makes some good points, the young and Californian Mr. Klein completely overlooks the fact that Mr. Shuler went 4-15 in games that he played for the Redskins. Frankly, I think that we have already reached our limit of sub-standard quarterbacks in this city. Stop Shuler has a good rundown here, but my favorite quote is:

"After going back and forth with Gus Frerotte in 1994 & 1995, he lost the job permanently in 1996 season, and took only one snap that year. The result of that play? A fumble."

Keep in mind that Shuler lost his job to a guy that went on to knock himself out of a game by head butting a stadium wall*. The upside is that Shuler's victory game Keith Olberman the line of the night.

Chris Matthews: ...and in North Carolina, challenger Heath Schuler completes his upset of incumbent Charles Taylor.

Keith Olberman: At least he completed something.

*It is a crime that Frerotte's head butt is not on YouTube. I am far enough removed from the event to be able to laugh about it now.

My Plan for World Peace

My father's company, and another group, are hosting a conference this week, and last night they had a reception at the Air and Space Museum. They "rented" the whole museum, and it was pretty amazing. There was an open bar and good food, including a mashed potato bar with 4 different types of mashed potatoes and plenty of toppings that you ate out of a martini glass.

In addition to having the ability to drink your way through the exhibits, they also had the flight simulators open. I hadn't been to the museum in years, and I didn't know that they had flight simulators, but they were pretty impressive. You get into a cockpit, and the machine lifts up and executes barrel rolls and flips and the like. You have the option of controlling the flight yourself, or going running a simulation. After a few cocktails, I decided for the simulation, lest I end up drunk, upside down and unable to right myself.

As if drinking and flight simulators were not enough, the museum also had an IMAX showing of "Magnificent Desolation: Walking on the Moon," which is in 3D! This was the first movie that I have seen in 3D, and it was spectacular. At times the surface of the moon extended right up to your face and moon dust would be flying right at you. It was really, really amazing.

This all brings me to my plan for world peace. The conference has attendees from 80 different nations. People from all over the world, were gathered in the Air and Space Museum and having a great time. I realized that the problem with the United Nations is that they never have any fun.

You may be thinking, "The U.N. has serious business and no time for fun." But they problem with not having fun is that you can't threaten to take away fun. People argue that sanctions for example only hurt the poor in the country they are imposed on, and not the people making the decisions. Well, what if there was a rule that if you invaded another country you lost all of you open bar privileges? Or take North Korea, their delegation can't go to the IMAX movie. Sorry, but that's the rule. Imagine the jealousy when they hear the South Korean ambassador talking about how the flying dust looked so real that he ducked. That will teach them to test nuclear weapons.

I am convinced that under this plan we will have peace across the world in 3 weeks.

I Am a Big Ball of Rage

Grrr....

"WASHINGTON, in many ways, is an unsurprising place to visit -— an expanse of monuments, symbols and sites familiar to any American who watches the evening news (or, at least, "West Wing"”). Which is not to say that Washington can'’t be, with a little effort, a city of surprises and unfamiliar delights. So, yes, any 36 hours in Washington should include trips to all those famous buildings and memorials, but it should also include excursions to places that perhaps if less famous, are all the more interesting." (emphasis mine)

This paragraph opens the New York Times recommendations of things to do while visiting the District. I wonder though, if New York is so great why would one bother leaving in the first place? And where would you go?

"Go to Penn Quarter, a vibrant Washington neighborhood, for Zaytinya (701 Ninth Street NW, 202-638-0800) a Mediterranean tapas restaurant, that serves fresh Middle Eastern plates in a bustling setting of candles and soaring ceilings. '“It feels like New York,'” a friend said at dinner one recent night. Precisely." (again emphasis mine)

Well thank God that we have a place that is reminiscent of New York. I guess that is how the unfortunates stuck down here survive. I would write more, but, to quote Moe, "I am choking on my own rage here."

Linda Cropp Thinks That I Am Gay

Tim, Emily and myself went to Dakota Cowgirl last night after too many $1.00 beers at Fast Eddies. For those who don't know, Dakota Cowgirl is a gay bar. What I mean is that there are gay men there and it is obviously gay friendly, but it isn't over the top gay so as to make a straight man uncomfortable. We went because I wanted to play Keno, Emily had never been, and Tim got dragged along.

So there we were critiquing the music videos on the flat screen TVs and losing in Keno, when a man comes up to our table and asks if we are registered DC voters and if we would like to meet Linda Cropp. We answer that yes we would love to meet the candidate. So Mrs. Cropp comes up, introduces herself, shakes our hands and asks for our support on September 12th. She then moves on and introduces herself to the other tables. She is in the bar for about 10 minutes before leaving to go to her next stop.

I think that this is all pretty great. Her supporters have rainbow stickers on that say Linda Cropp, but the best part was their campaign flyer. Here is the front:
Sorry for the poor scan, but you have to admit that it is fantastic. Although, I imagine that in Mrs. Cropp's conception the GLBT community is the vermouth, they add a lovely accent in small doses but ruin the Gin if they are around too much. I am not quite sure who the olive is.

But the back of the flyer is even better.
Last night I thought the line "Its time to put this Diva in charge!" was the best part, but sobriety has forced me to reconsider. I really like the idea of drinking "responsively" even if I don't know what it means.

So unless someone else makes a strong push, it looks like I have met the future mayor of the District of Columbia. I guess this means that I will have to pick a candidate based on their policies rather than a selfish desire to say that I have met the mayor. Crap.

UPDATE: It turns out that I wasn't the only one to witness this spectacle. I imagine that that dog wasn't too happy when they removed that sticker.

Corona in a Can?

As I was leaving work on Saturday I got a call from Tommy asking me if it was okay if people came over to our apartment. I said that company was welcome, mainly because I didn't anticipate that there would be attempts to add extra carbonation to a can of beer. My boss was in the car, and wanted to know if I wanted some free beer for our impromptu party. I love free beer, so we went back to the restaurant and filled up. And while my boss is very nice and generous, it wasn't generosity that was guiding her, she just couldn't sell this beer. The beer in question was Corona in a can.

It appears that people just won't buy Corona out of a can. She tried offering all sorts of deals but just couldn't get rid of it. I guess that what people want out of Corona is the commercial. They want to be sitting on the beach with that clear glass bottle. The company sponsors Jimmy Buffett concerts for God's sake. It got me wondering, has anyone ever seen Corona on draft? Does such a thing exist? I am pretty sure that I have seen every other major beer company on draft, except for Corona.

Who is their PR guy?

There is a church in Arlington that has one of those signs outside that is usually used to give the title of the upcoming sermon. Recently they have decided to take advantage of the recent weather.

A couple of weeks ago, during the deluge that had us all appreciating a good sturdy bucket, they had, and I am paraphrasing, "That Noah story seems more real, doesn't it?" I just couldn't figure out what the church was hoping to achieve with this statement. Are they hoping non-believers will think "well there was a flood in the Bible and now there is a flood in the 12th Street Tunnel, so the Bible must be true! I better get me some churchin'."

I think that the message is even worse to believers. I read it as: "Remember when God flooded the world to kill all of the sinners? Well, if you put a little more effort into those rice crispy treat men (poorly tied licorice bows) you made for the bake sale then maybe you would still have carpet in your basement."

This was all well and good, but when I drove by yesterday they had "Hell seems more real now, doesn't it?" This is absolutely the worst message for a church to send. Sure a Washington heat wave is uncomfortable, but not so bad that I am going to get up early on a Sunday.

I think the main problem is that they are reacting to the weather. They should be tailoring the sign future weather events. Like say, if the forecast calls for the sky to rain blood, that is the time to jump and try to get the butts in the pews.

Merriweather: The Gift That Keeps On Giving...

So I accompanied some friends to the Ted Leo, Broken Social Scene, Belle and Sebastian show at Merriweather Post on Saturday. While I looked forward to the concert, I did dread going to Merriweather. In the past, I have had problems getting the venue in time for concerts, or finding that I couldn't see the stage from the lawn and that the screens are broken. I actually hate the venue.

The people that I went with hadn't been to Merriweather before, and had only my complaining to guide them. Well, we got there in plenty of time and found seats, proving that every complaint that I had was unfounded and that I was a liar. Great.

So we settle in and enjoy a nice, albeit abbreviated set by Ted Leo. Then Kriston and I got up to walk around and see what we could see. We walked over to where they were selling T-Shirts, because you need a T-Shirt to prove that you were there and other people were not. As we are perusing the merchandise a bee just flies up and stings me near my eye. Without provocation! At first, I am not sure that I got that I got stung, it just kinda feels like something flew into my eye. Then Kriston confirms that my eye is in fact starting to swell, confirming that I did in fact get stung.

The people at Merriweather were nice enough to give me a bag filled with ice, and I spent most of the rest of the concert sitting on the lawn holding a bag of ice to my face. For the rest of the night my eye just kinda hurt, but nothing too bad.

When I woke up on Sunday, my eye had started to swell. It looked like had been in a fight. Which was nice, I may have gotten a swollen eye but the assailant ended up broken with his guts all over the pavement. How often can you say that?

When I woke up this morning, my left eye had pretty much swollen shut. This completely freaked me out. I almost woke up Tommy to have him drive me the Emergency Room. I ended up getting in touch with my parents and my aunt who is a nurse. It turns out that this swelling is completely normal, and could continue for a few more days. It was comforting to hear that a life threatening allergic reaction would have already occurred. I took some over the counter medication and the swelling has gone down considerably. I am back to being a bad Thom Yorke impersonator.

The moral of this story is that Merriweather Post Pavilion is the worst music venue in the country and if you go there you will get stung by a bee. In addition to never going back to Merriweather, I have decided to carry a spray bottle of bee killer on me at all times and wear it on my belt like a wild west gunslinger. And not any nice "environmentally-safe" bee killer, but industrial leave a trail of bodies and anything else that gets in the way serious as shit bee killer. I am considering having my chemical-engineering friend Jeff concoct something so potent and deadly that it can't be sold commercially. So bees, you are on notice!

Did you know?

Did you know that there is place called "Geekpad?" And did you further know that it is in the DC area? And finally, and most surprising, did you know that I do not in fact live there? Apparently there are three guys in Arlington who have wired their house and called it Geekpad. I can't find specifics as to the set up, but it is wired, has fancy lights, and an automatic ball cleaning Beer Pong table, oh and video games.

My problem is that I don't find anything particularly Geeky about them. Like say the fact that they are included in People Magazine's "Hottest Bachelors" of 2006. Yeah, real Geeky guys. Also, their website is too ugly to be designed by Geeks. Also, they raise money for charity,which is patently un-geeky.

Lame. I bet they don't even have a Linux server in their house, much less one that sends information to your cellphone. So there!

Also, I am not a man with many goals for my life, but an important one is that I will not have a Beer Pong table in my house when I am 32.

Exciting News from the World of Celebrities

Did you all know that Stacy Keibler's favorite area is the Baltimore Washington area? Well according to Celebfavorites, it is. While her list might be a little too Baltimore centric for my taste, she is from "Charm City" so I guess I can forgive her.

She highlights many of the exciting things that this region has to offer like Tysons Corner Center and the Merriweather Post Pavilion, which boasts lawn seats that don't allow you to see the stage! To be fair, one of her favorite places in the area is Deep Creek Lake, although she fails to note that it is the home of Beer Day.

The Dance of Days...

Washington is frequently accused of not dancing at rock shows. I must admit this to be true, but as a native Washingtonian and a non-dancer, except when one is keeping score, I have never had a problem with this accusation. It is a sad state of affairs if you require me, or someone else, to be dancing in order to enjoy a rock concert.

I have never really thought about why D.C. doesn't dance, but someone offered an interesting hypothesis in J. Freedom du Lac's Post Chat yesterday. I'll quote the whole thing to save you the effort of finding it:

"The authority conundrum was quite graphically illustrated in D.C. during the early to mid-nineties when Fugazi started offering frat-guys their money back when mosh pits were created during their sets. Audience-members started seeing the disdain that violently thrashing about could elicit from an authoritative source (in this case, Ian). As time progressed, not only was violently moshing frowned upon, but so was dancing and later, any movement whatsoever-- to the point now at which the correct standard posture for a D.C. rock show is arms-folded, eyes straight ahead (I can't take credit for this thesis; this idea was first set forth in an excellent yet now-defunct online zine called the "Finley Breeze")."

The quote occurs in a larger context of the effect Pitchfork has on indie rock. I have no idea if this is true or not, but it at least seems plausible. Most of this process occurred before I started going to concerts, so I don't know if people use to dance in the pre-Dischord era. I do know that Fugazi would stop concerts if they saw a mosh pit, and Ian MacKaye's influence over this city's rock scene is undeniable.

Has anyone heard this hypothesis before? Does anyone have any other explanations as to why we don't "shake it?"