Misc: Stupid Band Edition

First, I want to reiterate what I said over at the band blog. Thank you all for coming out to the last few concerts. Sundays and Mondays suck, a lot, and it is great that so many of you came out to them. Fortunately, we are giving you all a break for a few months.

Also, let me add DCist to my growing blog empire. Today my first post covering the Nats went up. I hope to have at least one column a week about the Nats, and a boxing post whenever it is relevant. This is all part of my plan for global domination that involves taking on projects that don't pay me anything. At least at DCist, unlike the stupid band, I won't be losing any money.

My band managed to schedule a concert in Norfolk this Friday followed by a concert in New York on Saturday. I think this picture accurately sums up the situation.

In other exciting news, I don't have Celiac Disease, so that is good.

History...

One of the problems with the Nationals is their lack of history. Actually, more to the point, the problem is that we don't know which history we want to adopt. When the team moved to Washington, there were discussions about which records we would celebrate and hold on to. Which Senator's records would we use, the ones that became the Rangers or the Twins or both? And what about the Expo's records? It is confusing.

That is why I see the Nationals as starting a new history, which is one of the things that makes the team exciting. Also, that would be the one benefit of a historically bad season. It would give the team character, and something to talk about years down the road. We could all say, "I was there when."

In many ways I envy a team like the Philadelphia Phillies. They have a long and storied history, and their fans should be proud of it. For example, this site is fantastic. I am seriously thinking about trying to make it up to Philly for the Phillies unprecedented 10,000 loss. Think how exciting that would be. No other professional sports franchise, in any sport mind you, has ever lost 10,000 games. Just the thought of the Phillies losing 10,000 games makes me giddy.

So congratulations Philadelphia! I should also mention that Philly is the city with 4 professional sports teams that has gone the longest without a championship. Truly you are the losingest losers to ever lose.

Ominous Signs at RFK...

And I am not referring to the score.

Opening day was good. The Nats lost, but if that surprised you then you are in for a long season. What is funny is that the team, or at least the ownership, know how bad things could get for this team. For example:

When I arrived at my seat, there was a video preview of the new stadium, including descriptions of various luxury boxes and seating arrangements. This was combined with the graphics of construction girders that adorned all of the images on the scoreboard. The announcer welcomed us to the last opening day at RFK stadium. Not one pitch had been thrown yet, and we were already encouraged to look forward to next year.

The guess the year trivia question was, "In what year did 'Major League' come out?" I am going to let the IMDB plot description speak for itself:

"The new owner of the Cleveland Indians puts together a purposely horrible team so they'll lose and she can move the team."

Hmm....

Finally, the slogan for this season is "Pledge Your Allegiance." One will earn their fan stripes every time they show up at the ballpark this year.

Actually, I don't think the season will be all that bad this year. Expectations have been lowered to the point where this team can, and probably will, trip over them.

Baseball Preview...

We are less than one week from Opening Day, otherwise known as the greatest day of the whole year. Admittedly, the prospects for the Nationals are not great. Sports writers can't seem to decide if the Nationals will lose a laughable number of games, a historic number of games, or somewhere in between. My current favorite prediction comes from King Kaufman's Sports Daily. His prediction for the finishing order for the NL East is:

"Philadelphia, Atlanta (wild card), New York, Florida, Grand Canyon, Marianas Trench, Washington"

So why go to the ballpark this year?

The first, and most important reason, is that this is a year to get your Fan cred. When the Nationals start winning, and people start showing up to the stadium with new baseball hats you will be able to scoff at them and say, "I was there in 2007."

If you go with me, you can watch me try to keep up with all of the runs scored and pitching changes in my scorebook. I imagine that things could get pretty hectic around RFK this year, and the 2007 season could be the greatest test of my scorekeeping abilities for years to come.

Also, there is a certain poetry to the dejected baseball fan watching the other team bat around. In fact, baseball fans are better at yelling at/hating/cursing the team they love than any other sports fans.

Finally, a day at a baseball game is better than just about anything else.

But you should be prepared. This season could will be ugly. The Phillies fans will be even more insufferable, and New York fans even more smug. You will have to hear the horrible Tomahawk chop from Braves fans, and...well, I don't think their are Marlins fans. That said, the Presidents race is one of the greatest innovations to team sports in the last 10 years, and Teddy has still yet to break into the W column. That alone is reason enough to visit RFK.

A New Hope...

As I wrote about a month ago, I am not very optimistic about the Redskins future. The one thing that gives me solace is that you won't see Jason Campbell end up on YouTube singing "Don't Stop Believing" with Mr. Belding and an 80's Hair Metal Cover Band.

Taken from Deadspin, which you really should be reading if you are not.

I love you so much it hurts me...

This is one of the hardest things that I have ever written. It has taken a lot of introspection, but I realized that I must admit the truth. The Redskins are no longer the great, proud franchise that I grew up with. This isn't because they finished at a vomit inducing 5-11 in a year when competence would have made playoffs, but because the team appears to be so horribly run that one has little hope of improvement.

I am basing this conclusion mostly on two articles. The first is by Tom Friend and tries to explain why the defense went from being great to the becoming the goat in Sports Center highlights. The second is by Jason LaCanfora, and explains the organizational problems with the Redskins. I won't summarize both, but they are good reads assuming there are not any hand guns nearby.

The problem is that Snyder, Cerrato, and Gibbs have tried to win through free agency and over spending for players. This hasn't worked, and what is worse they have traded almost all of their draft picks and alienated the players. On top of this, the group refuses to accept that they have been running the team poorly and exhibit no serious effort to change. Everyone seems to think that they need a competent general manager, and just as many people believe that they are not going to get one.

It is almost as if Dan Synder was watching Peter Angelos and thinking, "Wow, destroying a once great team looks like a lot of fun." Orioles fans at least have hope because attendance is down and at some point Angelos will sell the team. The deal with MLB regarding the Nationals and the league making up the difference between the sale price and the set value in the negotiation will assure that. Snyder has actually topped Angelos because he has:

1. Run a proud franchise poorly,
2. Abused the fans with ticket prices, parking prices, and inconvenient stadium,
3. Consistently fielded a disappointing team with no hope of improvement,
4. Made a lot of money!

On top of that, he just might manage to ruin the reputation of a Hall of Fame coach.

I still love the Redskins, and will still get upset at every loss, but this season has taken something out of me. Maybe expectations were too high, but the Giants are the only NFC East team to finish the season with the quarterback they started with, and Eli Manning is the worst of the bunch, so I don't think pre-season predictions were too out of line.

Fortunately we have Agent Zero. Seriously, the Wizards are really exciting this year, and Gilbert is a legitimate superstar. I can't tell you how much I wish I had an Arenas Express card. Also, the Caps are suppose to be exciting this year, and trending upwards. They might not win a whole lot, but they are young, fast, and apparently they like to fight. The Nationals might lose just about every game next year, but at least it looks like they know how to run a baseball team so we can dream about the future.

The Redskins are not the only game in town anymore. While it hasn't happened yet, if the team continues it's current performance, Danny is going to feel it in his wallet. Fortunately, that might be the only thing that he will listen to, and might be the only hope that we have.

Boxing

I thought that I would pass this video along. It is a video of an exhibition fight that took place at my boxing gym a few weeks ago. The two guys having been training at the gym for a while, and the ref owns and runs the place. A quick note to my mother, I have not done this and you don't need to worry.

Fight for Old D.C.!

It is important to remember when watching the Redskins this year that the whole NFL is out to get us. Not just the teams, but the officials and the league office all the way up to Roger Goodell are trying to take the Redskins down. It is also important to remember that I am a sore loser.

One of my favorite theories was put forth on the radio by Sam Huff. The Arizona Cardinals were once members of the NFC East with the Redskins. Then in 2002 the league moved them to NFC West. As everyone knows, the Cardinals are not the best team in the league. One may think that the move had to do with "geography" when in reality is was an elaborate plot to take away 2 wins from the Redskins each year.

This year, the league got really sneaky and screwed the Redskins using the black art of scheduling. Jason La Canfora outlines the dastardly plot here, but the gist is that the Redskins are one of only 4 teams to play a team after its bye week 3 times. What is worse, the Redskins are callously forced to play all of these teams away, and two of those teams are division rivals! I ask you, what chance do the forces of good and truth have when faced with such unconscionable evil?

Also, and I might not be remembering this correctly, but I am pretty sure that Paul Tagliabue put a gun to Joe Gibbs head and made him sign and play Mark Brunell.

At least this keeps him off of the field...

Like many, I am excited about the Democratic victory yesterday. But I must admit that my excitement is tempered by the fact that Heath Shuler is returning to Washington. While Ezra makes some good points, the young and Californian Mr. Klein completely overlooks the fact that Mr. Shuler went 4-15 in games that he played for the Redskins. Frankly, I think that we have already reached our limit of sub-standard quarterbacks in this city. Stop Shuler has a good rundown here, but my favorite quote is:

"After going back and forth with Gus Frerotte in 1994 & 1995, he lost the job permanently in 1996 season, and took only one snap that year. The result of that play? A fumble."

Keep in mind that Shuler lost his job to a guy that went on to knock himself out of a game by head butting a stadium wall*. The upside is that Shuler's victory game Keith Olberman the line of the night.

Chris Matthews: ...and in North Carolina, challenger Heath Schuler completes his upset of incumbent Charles Taylor.

Keith Olberman: At least he completed something.

*It is a crime that Frerotte's head butt is not on YouTube. I am far enough removed from the event to be able to laugh about it now.

It's Official...

I am old. When the music that I listened to in high school is being packaged together as "Buzz Ballads" and sold as exclusive offers on TV then it is time to pack it in and start worrying about school districts. While I don't particularly love any of the bands on the Cds, the principle still stands.

In other news, my mother is taking credit for this. My parents just got back from San Francisco where my dad's company has their summer meetings. Comcast had a reception at the meetings, and my mother apparently took a Comcast executive to task over the television situation. I know what my mom is like when she gets in those moods, so it is no surprise that the situation was resolved.

At Least Someone is Thinking About the Children

It is no secret that I love baseball. Well, before the Nationals arrived I would try to make out to see the Prince William, then Potomac, Cannons a few times a season. The Cannons, now Nationals, are a single A baseball team. For those who don't know, Major League Baseball has an extensive farm system ranging from Rookie leagues to Triple A. Single A is essentially the lowest level of professional baseball one can play.

If you have never been to a minor league game, you really owe it to yourself, particularly a Single A game. One of the exciting things is that the players are good enough to be paid to play baseball while bad enough to still be in Single A. This means that on any given play you could see a thing of beauty, like a diving catch or a well turned double play, or overgrown Little leaguers throwing the ball over each others heads. You just don't know what will happen. Also, the crowds are usually small enough that a good heckler can really have an impact on the players.

The other great thing about Minor League baseball is that they have fantastic promotions. The Cannons use to have a deal where if you brought a Twizzlers wrapper you go two tickets for the price of one. They also do great things between innings, like tether 7 year olds together and tell them to run away from each other.

The Newark Bears have a great promotion going on. Tonight is "Britney Spears Baby Safety Night" at the ballpark. There are many reasons to go see a minor league game, but tonight you can experience them all for free and all you have to do is dress like a baby!

The reason for this promotion is:

"The Newark Bears know that the Pop Diva's public mishaps are far from intentional. It is her celebrity that has brought attention to the fact that not all new mothers in New Jersey are "not that innocent" when it comes to caring for their bouncing bundle of joy."

See, they are not just making fun of Britney, they have a message and social conscience. They will be educating new mothers. You could win a child car seat! I really hope the title of the pamphlet that they are handing out is "Don't Be A Britney."

Their commitment to baby safety is further evidenced by the 2,000 free NJ Lotto scratch off cards they are giving away, and the post-game firework show. 'Cause nothing says safety like gambling and explosions!

Awesome

After my last post, I was looking through the Homestead's website and dreaming of being rich and decadent. Listed under their outdoor activities is, and I really have to quote it, is:

"Falconry (Seasonal)
Known as the "sport of kings," falconry is one of the oldest of the field sports with a history that stretches back nearly 4000 years. Learn about this unique form of hunting with trained birds of prey, including falcons, hawks and owls, at The Homestead's Mews. Beginner and intermediate lessons are available. At the conclusion of the lesson, the guest is given the opportunity to be photographed with the bird."

I think that it might be the greatest place on earth, although I think I now have to delete all of the Clash songs from my Ipod.

I Got Teddy in the Fourth...

One of the worst things about RFK prior to the grand re-opening was the Presidents race. The team had an animated video of Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Jefferson racing around a DC. The announcer claimed that each President represented a section, and if you clapped hard enough tinkerbell would come back to life the President for your section would win. I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but they only had about 4 different animations and your clapping did as much for the Presidents as Terrell Owens is going to do for the Cowboys this year.

Probably the greatest thing about RKF's re-opening is that the team now has four people wear 10 foot tall costumes of these Presidents and race from right field to about home plate. It is pretty great. If you go to a game, the race happens in the middle of the fourth inning.

The problem is that the race is still scripted, but I wonder who would win in a race between the Presidents on Mount Rushmore. I think all of the presidents have pretty good upsides, except for one. I think we can all agree that Jefferson would lose every time. I think Washington would be in the best shape, Lincoln has the most heart, and Teddy has that competitiveness that drives him to win at any cost. In fact, Teddy has already attempted to use a golf cart only to be disqualified. I just can't come up with any good reasons why Jefferson would win. In my mind I picture Jefferson as kind of a dandy.

The Art of Score

I realized today that I have not yet extolled the glories of keeping score at a baseball game. It is really one of the best things in sports.

For those of you who don't know, scorekeeping is a way for baseball fans to keep track of what has happened in a baseball game using a series of symbols. Wikipedia has a pretty good explanation here, with pictures! Tommy has observed that keeping score jives well with my obsessive nature, and he right. But keeping score can be fun even if you don't feel the need to straighten up everywhere you go.

When you keep score you know what has happened in the game up to that point, but you are also able to pick up on game trends quicker. You can see that a certain player is pulling the ball, or that the pitcher is inducing a lot of ground ball outs. You might even notice that a certain All-Star is flying out a lot and decide to hold it against him for the rest of his career. When you keep score you get a sense of the story of the game.

Keeping score also helps pass the time a baseball game. I know that some people are prone to complain that baseball games are too long, and nothing happens. When you are keeping score you have plenty of things to keep track of: the last play, inning totals, substitutions, some people track every pitch. It can be overwhelming. I promise that the game will just fly by.

The most important about scorekeeping is that when you are doing it everyone in your section knows that you are better than them. They look over, see you with your book, and know that you are a bigger and better baseball fan than them. It is the sports equivalent of wearing the perfect ironic t-shirt at the Black Cat.

So let me encourage you to take up scorekeeping as a hobby. Here is a link to some free scorecards that you can print out on your company's dime. You will learn a lot about baseball, and before you know it you will be wasting time at work reading up on statistics rather than the dating lives of various Washingtonians!

I stole the picture from Tommy, here is the original.

Clarification

I while ago I wondered if there was any truth to a rumor involving Eagles fans throwing a Redskins fan of the upper deck of Veterans Stadium. Well, thanks to Metroblogging DC I think I have found the truth. According to the New York Times, the heroic Redskins Fan only had parts of his costume thrown off of the stadium. The Eagles fans were nice enough to break that brave soul's legs in the parking lot, where presumably it would be easier to get to the hospital. So, in the interest of fairness let me apologize to Eagles fans everywhere. You are an inspiration to us all!

Soccer Sucks!

Now that the US is out of the world cup I think it is time to engage in one of my favorite pastimes, being a sore loser.

Soccer is a stupid sport. America lost because we don't care about this stupid sport, and if we did we would win every time.

Before Darren starts yelling at me, let me say that I actually do like watching soccer, and that in reality it is a fine sport. But I have been thinking about something Marc Fisher wrote in one of his recent chats:

"Marc Fisher: Don't worry--soon after they arrive, they will discover the complexities and rituals of other sports and free themselves from the chains of the single-sport obsessions of their homelands."

I think this is true. It is no wonder that Soccer is the most popular sport in the world because the rest of the sports that the world plays suck more.

Lets us take England as an example. England is a wealthy, highly educated country with amazingly crappy sports. Lets say you are a kid growing up in Leeds. What are you going to get excited about? Polo? It is like hockey, but with animals shitting all over the place. Rugby? It is like football, but manages to be both violent and boring.

And then there is Cricket. Cricket which might be the single stupidest game ever invented. From the Wikipedia entry:

"Generally, the batsman attempts to strike the ball with the bat, and run to the other end, exchanging places with his partner, scoring a run. However, he can attempt to run without hitting the ball, and vice versa. While the batting team scores as many runs as it can, the bowling team returns the ball back to either wicket. If the ball strikes a wicket before the batsman nearer to that wicket has reached safety then the batsman is out, or "dismissed". The batsman can also be out by failing to stop the bowled ball from hitting the wicket, or if a fielder catches the ball before it touches the ground. Once the batsmen are not attempting to score any more runs, the ball is "dead" and is bowled again."

I highlighted my favorite line. Idiots stand on a field and just randomly try to run back and forth between two sticks. If you can't make it, don't bother running. And what is worse, this altar to absurdity lasts for 3-5 days. Some of you are probably want to make comparisons to Baseball, which is fine as long as you accept that Baseball makes sense and Cricket does not.

So kick away citizens of the world, what other options do you have?

Thank You

I want to write a quick nice thank you note to all of the Yankees fans who attended the game at RFK yesterday. If you hadn't been there cheering, shouting, and generally acting like the asses that everyone knows you are, I don't think I would have enjoyed Ryan Zimmerman's walk-off homerun as much. There was just something about the look on your faces as you silently shuffled out of the stadium that put a smile on my face. In fact, I am smiling now just thinking about it. You truly created a memory that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

So thank you again,
Charles

Go Team!

I am pretty sure I have mentioned it before, but baseball is far and away my favorite sport. It was always my favorite to play and now to watch. While I am probably more fanatical about the Redskins, Tommy and Catherine can testify to the intensity with which I watch baseball games. I am pretty sure I scared Catherine while watching a game last year.

It is around this time that discussions inevitably begin on the merits of baseball as a sport. And while I think arguments about which sport is better are fairly useless, and I am certainly not a good enough writer to convince anyone, Yglesias wrote something that I feel compelled to respond to.

In this post, Matt wrote:

"In addition (and I'm not a baseball fan, so I'm open to being corrected on this point) but my sense is that this is exacerbated by the fact that baseball is the least team-ey of the major team sports in that the players don't really need to cooperate actively in the way basketball and football players do."

I think this is wrong, and he does ask to be corrected. I submit that baseball is the most "team-ey" of the major team sports. While there is a lot of cooperation that I think Matt is ignoring, I will agree that baseball players don't appear to rely on each in the way that basketball players or football players do.

The reason I believe baseball to be the most "team-ey" sport is that baseball is the sport that is the most difficult for one player to individually win a game or championship. The pitcher clearly has the best opportunity to single-handedly win a game. He is involved in roughly half of all the plays, and if he is great can shut down an opponent's offense. The problem is that he contributes nothing offensively in the American League, and virtually nothing in the National.

Say you have a great pitcher, who has an era of 2. In order to have a high winning percentage his team needs average more than two runs a game. Lets also posit that this pitcher is also a good hitter and bats .300. So he averages a hit or so a game. Even if that hit is a home run, he still needs his team to supply the rest. This is neglecting what happens when the pitcher leaves the game, and the team relies on the bullpen.

Even if you had this super-pitcher, he only plays in about 1/3-1/4 of the total number of games in the season. For his team to make the post season, the rest of the team needs to be able to win without this game-changing player on the field.

This isn't to say that a player can't dramatically improve his team, I just believe less so than other sports. Putting Barry Bonds, or Roger Clemens on a baseball team doesn't immediately make that team a championship contender in the way that Michael Jordan or Wayne Gretzky did. The case is tougher to make in football, but I think Vince Young showed the impact one player can have on a season. I think that people would have radically different expectations for the Colts if they lost Peyton Manning.

Losers!

The first sporting event I remember going to was a Capitals game when I was 8 or 9. After that game, I was hooked and became a huge Capitals fan. They were my favorite sports team in Elementary School. When the Caps made the playoffs, I would watch the games with a little shrine of pennants and pucks, including one signed by Pete Peeters! My mother grew to hate the Capitals because they made me cry when they lost in the playoffs. Hey, I also cried when Optimus Prime died in the Transformers movie, I am sensitive, BACK OFF.

Over time, I started to pay less and less attention to the Capitals. I guess my heart just couldn't take the abuse. I still root for them, but I don't really pay attention anymore. I saw this post on DCist today, and was shocked to learn that the Caps are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs with 1/3 of the season left to play. Everyone makes the playoffs in Hockey, I would be surprised if Hamilton's hockey team had been eliminated from the NHL playoffs. Seriously, 16 teams, out of 30, make the playoffs. They shouldn't even call it a post-season given how easy it is to make it. The Capitals are eliminated with a third of the season left, and more than half of the total teams in the league continuing on to the playoffs. It is one of the saddest things I have read in a while. They are not a good hockey team, or even a mediocre hockey team.

So I guess it is good that I moved on. Yup, good thing the Nationals are here, no chance for heartbreak there.

Let's Go Grays!

I love baseball. It is far and away my favorite sport. I could barely contain my excitement when Washington finally got a team again. Well it has been a little over a year and I believe my excitement could fit in the compartment above me or underneath the seat in front of me. While I still look forward to the season and going to games again, the whole stadium debacle has taken a lot of the fun out of having a team. As for the stadium deal, I have avoided comment because I don't know where I stand. I think we can all agree that both sides are filled with jerks.

So today I read that the Nationals apparently do not own the rights to the name Nationals. And while this is no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention to the team's management, I think it gives the team an exciting opportunity.

The name Nationals was never that great to begin with. It is time to give the team its rightful name of the Grays. The Homestead Grays were a Negro League team that one 9 Negro League Championships from 1938 to 1948. They were dominating, and one of the best baseball teams of all time. It would be a great tribute to the Negro League and the residents of Washington.

This idea was floated around during the first naming process, but I think it should be seriously considered again. Besides, Gray is a great name. Seriously, who doesn't love the Grays?

In many ways, I partially expect the name of the team to change once the new ownership is determined anyway. There was a lot of money made on Nationals merchandise that didn't go to whoever will own the team. It is similar phenomenon to remastering cds; you can make people buy the same things over and over again.

I realize that I am getting more than a little ahead of myself. The league will probably settle, and the Nats will still be the Nats. I just really want to hear a crowd shout "Let's Go Grays, Let's Go Grays."