I Got Teddy in the Fourth...

One of the worst things about RFK prior to the grand re-opening was the Presidents race. The team had an animated video of Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Jefferson racing around a DC. The announcer claimed that each President represented a section, and if you clapped hard enough tinkerbell would come back to life the President for your section would win. I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but they only had about 4 different animations and your clapping did as much for the Presidents as Terrell Owens is going to do for the Cowboys this year.

Probably the greatest thing about RKF's re-opening is that the team now has four people wear 10 foot tall costumes of these Presidents and race from right field to about home plate. It is pretty great. If you go to a game, the race happens in the middle of the fourth inning.

The problem is that the race is still scripted, but I wonder who would win in a race between the Presidents on Mount Rushmore. I think all of the presidents have pretty good upsides, except for one. I think we can all agree that Jefferson would lose every time. I think Washington would be in the best shape, Lincoln has the most heart, and Teddy has that competitiveness that drives him to win at any cost. In fact, Teddy has already attempted to use a golf cart only to be disqualified. I just can't come up with any good reasons why Jefferson would win. In my mind I picture Jefferson as kind of a dandy.


  1. jefferson was 6'4" with manly red hair. and from all the time i spent working as a tour guide in the rotunda with his life-sized marble statue, he was actually pretty built.

  2. Anonymous5:46 PM

    Although a big advocate of physical fitness, he did also say:

    "The sovereign invigorator of the body is exercise, and of all the exercises, WALKING is the best."

    What a pansy...

  3. There you go. Also, I am pretty sure that Jefferson didn't come off as the most "athletic" guy in Ron Chernow's book about Hamilton.