When Stars Get Hurt

A long time ago, Tommy had a website that featured among other things the video of Pacey from Dawson's Creek getting a basketball thrown in his face. We would just watch the clip over and over again. What was mildly amusing once became brilliant when seen about 10 times straight. I am pretty sure that that one moment was the highlight of Dawson's Creek.

In a similar vein, let me link to a video of Jared Leto's band performing at the 9:30 club. If you fast forward to around 3:20 you will witness Jared falling, and not gracefully mind you, on his head. It is pretty great, but I really need to find some way to edit it so I can watch the relevant section over and over again. I should mention that I don't have speaks attached to this computer, so I have no idea what any of it sounds like. I have a feeling that that may be the preferred method.

I was originally not going to post it, but in the comment section for the video people were complaining that the video was being used to make fun of Jared Leto. I remembered that I am not a good person and felt compelled to link to it. In case and 30 Seconds to Mars fans come over, let me say that I have nothing against Jared Leto or 30STM, I just think it is funny when famous people hurt themselves. Really funny. Is that so wrong?

Merriweather: The Gift That Keeps On Giving...

So I accompanied some friends to the Ted Leo, Broken Social Scene, Belle and Sebastian show at Merriweather Post on Saturday. While I looked forward to the concert, I did dread going to Merriweather. In the past, I have had problems getting the venue in time for concerts, or finding that I couldn't see the stage from the lawn and that the screens are broken. I actually hate the venue.

The people that I went with hadn't been to Merriweather before, and had only my complaining to guide them. Well, we got there in plenty of time and found seats, proving that every complaint that I had was unfounded and that I was a liar. Great.

So we settle in and enjoy a nice, albeit abbreviated set by Ted Leo. Then Kriston and I got up to walk around and see what we could see. We walked over to where they were selling T-Shirts, because you need a T-Shirt to prove that you were there and other people were not. As we are perusing the merchandise a bee just flies up and stings me near my eye. Without provocation! At first, I am not sure that I got that I got stung, it just kinda feels like something flew into my eye. Then Kriston confirms that my eye is in fact starting to swell, confirming that I did in fact get stung.

The people at Merriweather were nice enough to give me a bag filled with ice, and I spent most of the rest of the concert sitting on the lawn holding a bag of ice to my face. For the rest of the night my eye just kinda hurt, but nothing too bad.

When I woke up on Sunday, my eye had started to swell. It looked like had been in a fight. Which was nice, I may have gotten a swollen eye but the assailant ended up broken with his guts all over the pavement. How often can you say that?

When I woke up this morning, my left eye had pretty much swollen shut. This completely freaked me out. I almost woke up Tommy to have him drive me the Emergency Room. I ended up getting in touch with my parents and my aunt who is a nurse. It turns out that this swelling is completely normal, and could continue for a few more days. It was comforting to hear that a life threatening allergic reaction would have already occurred. I took some over the counter medication and the swelling has gone down considerably. I am back to being a bad Thom Yorke impersonator.

The moral of this story is that Merriweather Post Pavilion is the worst music venue in the country and if you go there you will get stung by a bee. In addition to never going back to Merriweather, I have decided to carry a spray bottle of bee killer on me at all times and wear it on my belt like a wild west gunslinger. And not any nice "environmentally-safe" bee killer, but industrial leave a trail of bodies and anything else that gets in the way serious as shit bee killer. I am considering having my chemical-engineering friend Jeff concoct something so potent and deadly that it can't be sold commercially. So bees, you are on notice!

I Am a Hate-Filled Bastard

Last night at the DCist Happy Hour I realized what an awful person I am. While I am not the most gregarious person, I found myself opining at length on various topics. It was later when I took stock what those topics were that I realized the monster that I have become.

Apparently the only things that feel passionately about, and am willing to discuss at length are: atrocities committed by Philadelphia sports fans, and my general hatred of Mormons and Utah. I don't know exactly how this happened. I am not quite sure when I went from passive dislike to intense hatred. I assume it was a smooth transition.

The problem is that my hatred has created a singular focus. Rather than be content to just be irritated when I run across say an Eagles fan, I go out in search for examples in an act of self flagellation. Sure it hurts as swells of blinding anger rush over me, but it also feels so good to be right.

I think the problem is that I find myself only speaking really passionately when I am acting like a hate-filled little bastard. And there is more to me than just hate, or at least I hope there is.

In other news, this might be the single most offensive movie to hit theaters. It is one thing to glorify drug dealers and murders, but the sadistic fans of a franchise that hasn't actually ever won anything? I mean at least a drug dealer provides jobs for the community, what has an Eagles fan ever done?

Also, fans of Big Love might find this Salon article interesting. And yes I realize that the people in question are not recognized by the official Mormon church.

Does That Make Him Crazy?

One of the books that I am reading now is "The Vintage Guide to Classical Music" by Jan Swafford. It is a series of essays about the life and work of the great composers.

What I love about that book is that all of the great composers are crazy. We like to envision our classical composers as respectable staid individuals. I am almost through the romantic period, and I have met a good number of alcoholics, beggars, and a surprising number of artists driven insane by syphilis. A lot of these guys could give Keith Richards some competition in the decadent, self destructive race. It is really quite fantastic.

I just finished a section on Tchaikovsky, and there is a passage that is to fantastic and must be shared with everyone.

"Though during an early attempt at conduction he [Tchaikovsky] had developed the hallucination that his head was falling off (through the piece he held on to it with one hand)." Page 321

Weekend Roundup

So, what a weekend. Warning, this is a rambling whiny post whose purpose is to serve my mental health.

I worked Friday night as my restaurant hosted a local chapter of the Hash House Harriers. For those who don't know, "Hashers" are runners who drink, run to drink more, then finish the evening with more drinking. According to Wikipedia, the tradition has British origins, which makes sense because the people in this group tipped about as well as British people. One guy actually managed to tip my 73 cents on one checked then opened another and tipped me 10 cents. As a word of warning, the next time I know that the group is running I am calling the police and informing them that people are drinking in public.

The other thing they did, and this is actually very bad, was bring the remainders of their running beers into the restaurant and finishing them. This behavior could get my restaurant in a lot of trouble.

I worked a fairly unremarkable shift on Saturday. We had a group of 14 come in, and when my bartender asked if they were celebrating anything, the woman on the phone answered that they had just buried her mother. This knowledge really prevented me from being my normal charming self. For example, questions like "How are you all doing this evening?" were just out of the question.

I played two very emotional church services on Sunday. My church said goodbye to a beloved pastor who had been at our church for 14 years. She had a hand in every part of my church that I love. She was forced out of the church in some very ugly backroom dealings. A tip for my friends who will eventually get married and decide that their kids need to go to church, avoid the politics at all cost. The combination of faith, friends, money, and political views makes for some very ugly dealings. Add people acting nice to each other, because it is a church, and things get very cold and vindictive and decidedly un-Christian. But she will be missed by a good many people in our church, including myself.

So I finally get home around 9:30 on Sunday hoping to watch Deadwood and Entourage, then go to bed and put the miserable weekend behind me. Well all of the rain has blocked our satellite signal, so no HBO. Then around 11:00 my mom calls me. She is home alone and the basement of my house is flooded. So I head out to Arlington, negotiate numerous street closings, get to my house and find my mother in the basement with a bucket and about 6 inches of water. There are coolers and litterboxes and lord knows what floating around. The only thing to do is grab a bucket and start bailing. We finished around 1:30, but at least I got a great lat work out.

I didn't go to work today so I could hopefully finish the process of registering my car. In a bit of good news, my car passed inspection! Yeah! So I go to the DMV triumphantly, knowing that I am finally going to be done with this whole car thing only to find that the DMV is closed on Monday. I guess this is my fault, I didn't look to see if the DMV would be open on Monday, but in my defense I just can't fathom how a DMV can be closed on a Monday, much less every Monday.

So I returned home dejected and beaten and now I am drinking Scotch. My current problem is that I finished the last of my Scotch and worry about my Scotch supplies for the rest of the night. So how was your weekend?

Soccer Sucks!

Now that the US is out of the world cup I think it is time to engage in one of my favorite pastimes, being a sore loser.

Soccer is a stupid sport. America lost because we don't care about this stupid sport, and if we did we would win every time.

Before Darren starts yelling at me, let me say that I actually do like watching soccer, and that in reality it is a fine sport. But I have been thinking about something Marc Fisher wrote in one of his recent chats:

"Marc Fisher: Don't worry--soon after they arrive, they will discover the complexities and rituals of other sports and free themselves from the chains of the single-sport obsessions of their homelands."

I think this is true. It is no wonder that Soccer is the most popular sport in the world because the rest of the sports that the world plays suck more.

Lets us take England as an example. England is a wealthy, highly educated country with amazingly crappy sports. Lets say you are a kid growing up in Leeds. What are you going to get excited about? Polo? It is like hockey, but with animals shitting all over the place. Rugby? It is like football, but manages to be both violent and boring.

And then there is Cricket. Cricket which might be the single stupidest game ever invented. From the Wikipedia entry:

"Generally, the batsman attempts to strike the ball with the bat, and run to the other end, exchanging places with his partner, scoring a run. However, he can attempt to run without hitting the ball, and vice versa. While the batting team scores as many runs as it can, the bowling team returns the ball back to either wicket. If the ball strikes a wicket before the batsman nearer to that wicket has reached safety then the batsman is out, or "dismissed". The batsman can also be out by failing to stop the bowled ball from hitting the wicket, or if a fielder catches the ball before it touches the ground. Once the batsmen are not attempting to score any more runs, the ball is "dead" and is bowled again."

I highlighted my favorite line. Idiots stand on a field and just randomly try to run back and forth between two sticks. If you can't make it, don't bother running. And what is worse, this altar to absurdity lasts for 3-5 days. Some of you are probably want to make comparisons to Baseball, which is fine as long as you accept that Baseball makes sense and Cricket does not.

So kick away citizens of the world, what other options do you have?

This Just In, Ipods are Killing Music!

I recently read "Everything Bad is Good for You" by Steven Johnson. One of the arguments in the book is that advances in technology are responsible for the increased complexity of television shows. The premise is that the widespread adoption of TiVo's, VCRs, DVDs, and On Demand reward shows that can be enjoyed after multiple viewings, and the shows that can be replayed often are the more complex shows. This is the main mechanism he identifies for the increase in quality and complexity of television over the last 20 years.

This got me wondering if the opposite is happening in music. Thinking through the progression from records to Ipods, technology has made it easier to carry and acquire large amounts of music.

For example, I use to have a 6 disc CD changer in an old car. So on any given car trip I had about 60 listening options. Now, I just hook my Ipod into the tape adapter and have 6000 songs at my finger tips. I also wouldn't change the CDs in the car that often, and thus would listen to the same albums over and over again.

Also, the ability to download, legally or otherwise, large amounts of music allows the listener to constantly be updating their library. I actually hold myself back. For a while I was acquiring new music faster than I could listen to it. Now I wait until I have listened to whatever I have recently downloaded at least 3 times before I go out searching for more.

The result is that I just don't spend as much time with new music as I use to. I can remember listening to a new album for a week straight. The upside is that I find myself exposed to more music, and that is very exciting, but I wonder if I am missing out on the type of epiphanies one would get on the 12th time through "OK Computer."

While I don't think that these new developments are a hindrance to more complex music that takes repeated listens to appreciate, I think technology is creating a situation that rewards music that is immediately likeable. And while there are examples of music that is immediately likeable and fairly complex, like the Beach Boys for example, I tend to believe that complex music takes time seep in and make sense.

I don't advocate going back to records or a mass public smashing of Ipods, I just wonder where this technology will lead us.

Did you know?

Did you know that there is place called "Geekpad?" And did you further know that it is in the DC area? And finally, and most surprising, did you know that I do not in fact live there? Apparently there are three guys in Arlington who have wired their house and called it Geekpad. I can't find specifics as to the set up, but it is wired, has fancy lights, and an automatic ball cleaning Beer Pong table, oh and video games.

My problem is that I don't find anything particularly Geeky about them. Like say the fact that they are included in People Magazine's "Hottest Bachelors" of 2006. Yeah, real Geeky guys. Also, their website is too ugly to be designed by Geeks. Also, they raise money for charity,which is patently un-geeky.

Lame. I bet they don't even have a Linux server in their house, much less one that sends information to your cellphone. So there!

Also, I am not a man with many goals for my life, but an important one is that I will not have a Beer Pong table in my house when I am 32.

Me Talk Pretty One Day...

I spend a lot of time reading the Washington Post chats. One I find particularly fascinating in Gene Weingarten's mainly because it is suppose to be about humor, and I don't find Gene particularly funny. That said, he posts links to funny things, like my previous post. Well, now I wish I had waited a little longer because someone posted this and it is much funnier than the picture.

Also, if someone could explain how to have those fancy YouTube boxes appear on the blog, rather than in links that would be great. I have decided that I am not particularly interesting, but I can use my little corner of the internet to direct people to interesting places and hope to bask in their glory.

Comeuppance

I hope this has gone all around the internet, but let me further its progress if it hasn't.

Thank You

I want to write a quick nice thank you note to all of the Yankees fans who attended the game at RFK yesterday. If you hadn't been there cheering, shouting, and generally acting like the asses that everyone knows you are, I don't think I would have enjoyed Ryan Zimmerman's walk-off homerun as much. There was just something about the look on your faces as you silently shuffled out of the stadium that put a smile on my face. In fact, I am smiling now just thinking about it. You truly created a memory that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

So thank you again,
Charles

An Apology...

This is an apology to Kriston, Kevin, Mercedes, and Wreck. According to the District of Columbia the car I ferried you all to North Carolina and back in is not "safe" and "pollutes the environment." So sorry about that.

Also, I apologize for not mentioning this at the time, but there was at $500.00 per person charge for the trip, but don't worry Kriston I am willing to count Wreck as luggage. It would be great if you could get that to me as soon as possible.

I'll Show You How I Cook Up Summer in the Winter

I am not 100% certain, but I am going to declare Phoenix's new album, "It's Never Been Like That," to be the album of the summer. While it is not the greatest album of all time, I think it fits the criteria well. It has pleasant major key melodies and upbeat bouncing rhythms. It just generally a pleasant album to listen to. While probably not the best album of the year, it is a very good album. Now, I only got the album yesterday and may change my position, but I feel pretty confident right now.

I will say that "It's Never Been Like That" is certainly better than Linkin Park. I feel like I was not adequately consulted when that album was anointed its status.

I Want To Get Nearer To Thee...

I love Sam Cooke, he is definitely my favorite singer. I started reading Peter Guralnick's biography of him last week, and it is pretty good, but I have some concerns. Principally, I am about 150 pages or so into this 700 page work and Sam already has 3 children by 3 different mothers. And while this seems bad at first, I should also say that his pop career hasn't started yet. He has three children by three different mothers based on singing about Jesus in churches. I can't even fathom what will happen when "Cupid" comes out.

Local Music Roundup

I am not sure how widespread this knowledge is, but did you know that Chris Richards from Q and not U has a regular column in the Washington Post? It runs every Wednesday, and in it he reviews singles because the Ipod killed the album. By my count, that gives the post two pillars in the DC music scene, I am pretty sure Travis Morrison works for the Post online. It really makes one wonder why they don't do a better job covering local music. I am not selfish, I don't need full length album reviews. If only they had a column giving quick reviews of albums, that would be a good place to highlight local music...

In other news, I saw Ian MacKaye at the Pearl Jam concert last night. He was backstage talking to Eddie at the end of the concert. I know that Eddie is a big Fugazi fan, and claims to that "13 songs" is the album that he has played the most, so I wasn't too surprised to see Ian there. I was kinda really hoping that Ian would come out on stage to join the band for "Waiting Room" or something, but alas. Actually, judging from the crowd, they probably wouldn't have known who Ian was, and that would have made me sad.

Meat is Murder!

In order to honor our brave service men, myself and friends will be vacating the District of Columbia for the beach. The bloggyness of this trip even astounds me. Should something happen to us this weekend, a large swath of your rss reader will stay empty and you might be able accomplish something at work.

In order to prepare, I have been charged with leading a contingent to Costco to purchase provisions. Of course, the nature of the holiday compels us to slaughter a large number of animals and cook them over an open flame. What surprises me is that, to my knowledge, no one in our group is a vegetarian. In a group this large, you would think that someone would be a vegetarian. I guess that it is possible that I have too many friends from Texas.

I had a lot of friends in college who were vegetarians, including two band members and a roommate. As a result, I ate, and learned to cook, a lot of vegetarian meals. Once I was even charged with feeding an entire vegetarian reggae band, who loved my vegetarian burritos by the way. For a while, I only ate meat 2-3 times a week and it was actually kind of nice.

All this is to say that I think I am fairly sympathetic to the vegetarian lifestyle. In fact, given the right circumstances, I would be more than happy to give up meat for the rest of my life.

For the record, when I wrote this I had my inevitable marriage to Kristen Bell in mind, but if a hamburger is the only thing preventing me from working with Prince, then that hamburger will have to go.

Exciting News from the World of Celebrities

Did you all know that Stacy Keibler's favorite area is the Baltimore Washington area? Well according to Celebfavorites, it is. While her list might be a little too Baltimore centric for my taste, she is from "Charm City" so I guess I can forgive her.

She highlights many of the exciting things that this region has to offer like Tysons Corner Center and the Merriweather Post Pavilion, which boasts lawn seats that don't allow you to see the stage! To be fair, one of her favorite places in the area is Deep Creek Lake, although she fails to note that it is the home of Beer Day.

Each Time I Call, I Die A Little...

A few months ago, I wrote about an original ringtone by Philip Glass that was being auctioned off. The auction closed on Friday and the damn thing sold for $950.00. It really takes my breath away, and not in the awesome Berlin way, but in the crappy Jessica Simpson way. I just hope the winner realizes that they could have spent that money on more productive things like feeding the poor, or 70 Mozart Bobble Head Dolls!

The Dance of Days...

Washington is frequently accused of not dancing at rock shows. I must admit this to be true, but as a native Washingtonian and a non-dancer, except when one is keeping score, I have never had a problem with this accusation. It is a sad state of affairs if you require me, or someone else, to be dancing in order to enjoy a rock concert.

I have never really thought about why D.C. doesn't dance, but someone offered an interesting hypothesis in J. Freedom du Lac's Post Chat yesterday. I'll quote the whole thing to save you the effort of finding it:

"The authority conundrum was quite graphically illustrated in D.C. during the early to mid-nineties when Fugazi started offering frat-guys their money back when mosh pits were created during their sets. Audience-members started seeing the disdain that violently thrashing about could elicit from an authoritative source (in this case, Ian). As time progressed, not only was violently moshing frowned upon, but so was dancing and later, any movement whatsoever-- to the point now at which the correct standard posture for a D.C. rock show is arms-folded, eyes straight ahead (I can't take credit for this thesis; this idea was first set forth in an excellent yet now-defunct online zine called the "Finley Breeze")."

The quote occurs in a larger context of the effect Pitchfork has on indie rock. I have no idea if this is true or not, but it at least seems plausible. Most of this process occurred before I started going to concerts, so I don't know if people use to dance in the pre-Dischord era. I do know that Fugazi would stop concerts if they saw a mosh pit, and Ian MacKaye's influence over this city's rock scene is undeniable.

Has anyone heard this hypothesis before? Does anyone have any other explanations as to why we don't "shake it?"

Patience

I have known Tommy for a long time now. We met in the 6th grade, and have been friends ever since. Occasionally, I find him a little frustrating. When this happens, I just take a breath and remember that he went to an inferior high school.