2.01.2006

The Seahawks For America!

I have held off picking which team I want to win the Superbowl, mainly because I don't particularly care about either team. But I read some news today that leaves me with little choice.

The story of the Superbowl, so far, is that Jerome Bettis is playing in his hometown, in what might be the last game of his career. Everyone loves Jerome Bettis and would love to see him win a championship at home to finish a fantastic career. I get warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

Detroit, the home of Superbowl XL, is also clearly pulling for Jerome. Forget any notions of the Superbowl being played in a neutral site. Detroit has declared this week to be Jerome Bettis Week. I am sure that the Seahawks love that. The mayor is even going to give Jerome Bettis the key to the city.

It should be noted that Detroit doesn't give out the key to the city all that often. The last time that Detroit gave out the key to the city was in 1980. So clearly this is a big deal. And in 1980 Detroit gave the key to...SADDAM HUSSEIN!. Seriously.

"Earlier this week, Bettis was awarded the key to the city. It should also be mentioned the last person to receive that honor was -- get this -- Saddam Hussein, who got it in 1980." -Bob Kravitz
This really blows the mind. First, if I lived in Detroit I would be terrified. I mean those keys could be anywhere right now. The citizens should be clamoring for President Bush to find those keys. A locked door is no longer enough to keep the terrorists out of Detroit, they could have the key TO THE WHOLE CITY right now.

The other important fact that we learn is that Jerome Bettis = Saddam Hussein. It is as clear as day. I hope the Seahawks appreciate this and are appropriately prepared. Who knows what evil plans and weapons Jerome Bettis might have? In addition, what guarantee do we have the Jerome Bettis will recognize the authority of the Referees?

The only clear thing for all true Americans to do is support the Seahawks. It could be a long, ugly fight, but they have to win. Things may look tough now, but the Seahawks must prevail. On one hand you have a hard working town led by Jerome Bettis, and on the other you have the city of Microsoft and Starbucks. Which do you think is more American? I think that the answer is clear, this key to the city debacle only confirms what I already knew.

Some may say that Jerome Bettis is distracting us from the real evil in the NFL. And I will admit that there is another threat on the horizon that will have to be dealt with eventually. But it doesn't matter how we got to the Superbowl, we are there now and by God we must win. Besides you fight the Superbowl with the team you have, not the team you want.

2 comments:

  1. Yeah, they had a season to be proud of.

    ReplyDelete