I am just a friend, that's all I've ever been...

Thanks to Ryan, I caught this horrible meme thing that has been going around. It is only fair, I got him a few months ago.

The idea is to write 5 things most people don't know about you. This is hard, because I am fairly private and I feel like I have kept a good lock and key on most of the things I don't want people to know about me; my desire and plans to kill Tommy come to mind. The problem with this list is that it tends towards the shameful or the crazy. This is mainly a function of the fact that no one would hide their best attributes. Like, I secretly give lots of money to charity and I love puppies and sunshine.

1) I don't have a very good ear. You would think that becase I am a musician I would have a good ear, with the ability to pick out lots of intervals and chords easily and the like, but in truth I don't. This is something that I have worked hard on, and gotten a lot better at, but it still doesn't come very easy. Playing the piano has helped a lot. Almost everything that I write comes from a lot of experimentation and study.

2) I instinctively divide numbers that I see into their prime multiples. For example, right now it is 1:11, which I turn into 111 and divide into 3 x 37. Now it is 1:12 which I have turned into 7 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2. This is also how I remember things like license plates and telephone numbers. As a side note, I really like multiples of 7.

3) I use to be mean. I was a horrible child. Along the lines of the DCeiver, I will explain with a story that makes me ashamed to this day. There was a kid in the 7th grade who wore a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt to school one day, and because 7th graders are obnoxious and want to think that they are becoming adults, he was mad fun of. A few days later, I found a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doll and decided to write his name on it and hide it in our science class. A few days later, the teacher found it and asked it if it was his in front of the whole class. This of course only brought out more laughter at the expense of this poor kid. He is just one of many people from my childhood that probably has my name, deservedly, at the top of a hit list. My big problem is that one of them actually went and joined the Army...I am so screwed.

4) My sister is the only person who can really make me mad. While I do get upset with people from time to time, my sister is the only person who can anger me to the point of tears. I am not quite sure how she does it, but wow.

5) I have a weird vague feeling that I am going to die in a car crash. I just don't know where this feeling came from. Interestingly enough, I hate flying and prefer driving most places.

So that is it. I refuse to subject anyone to this horrible thing, also every one I know has already gotten it.

The Death of a Dream...

This post at DCist reminded me of the time that I had my guitars stolen in New York City.

It all started, like so many bad things, in New Jersey. While my band was touring we played a concert on the Jersey Shore. Unfortunately we couldn't find the right mix of a hotel that:

1. we could afford
2. wasn't all booked up
3. and up to health code.

So we decided to drive up to New York City, where we were playing the next night, and stay with my Bassist's brother in Chelsea.

We got up to New York, parked my 15 passenger Ford Econoline van and settled in for the night. The next night we pulled up in front of the club and went to unload our equipment only to find that all of the guitars and basses were gone. My first instinct was that we had left them in Jersey. Then my Bassist pointed out that the lock on the back door had been broken, and that our instruments had been stolen.

One of the things that was shocking about this theft was that our equipment was guarded by Animal. I figured that he would repel any would be assailants, but no; although none of the drums were taken. I took this as confirmation that drums are big and heavy and a pain in the ass to move.

So, we called the police and filled out the appropriate paperwork, mostly for insurance reasons. The cop told us to call up the local pawn shops, but that there was little chance of us getting our instruments back. He also suggested that we drive out to some park where drug users hang out, but was nice enough to add that we should call the police if we see our gear and not try to get it back on our own.

One of the bands was nice enough to lend up their instruments and we played the concert, although I was so angry that I don't remember any of it. After we finished up, we tried to decide what to do next. Two of my band members, who were being jerks, wanted to stay in New York and meet up with friends. These two also believed that we couldn't leave our equipment in the van with a broken lock. My Singer's parents were in town and he suggested that we store our remaining equipment at their hotel. What he didn't mention was that their hotel was right off Times Square. So the singer and myself drive to Times Square in my huge 15 passenger van at about midnight on a Friday night. It took us about 30 minutes to go two blocks, and there was no place to park, or just stop to that would allow us to unload our equipment.

At about 1:30 and I declare that I want nothing more than to get the hell out of New York City. So we meet up with the rest of the band and decide to drive to my Bassist's parent's house in Connecticut. Most of my friends have never seen me really angry, but when it happens I stop talking completely, lock my jaw, and just get an intense stare on my face. I also lose the ability to put up with anything. While we were leaving the city, I went through a police checkpoint. The officer had me roll down my window, and the first thing he said was "Are you Okay?" I grunted that I was fine. He took another look at me, and just waved me through. Clearly, an extremely angry person driving a huge van with out of state plates is nothing to be concerned with.

As we are leaving the van is completely silent, no one is talking and the radio is off. I haven't said a word in about an hour. At some point, a driver cut me off and I became the Mount Vesuvius of obscenity. My Drummer later told me that he was terrified to be in the van with me.

We got to Connecticut at around 3:00 or so, had a few drinks, and went to bed. The next day we borrowed more equipment for a horrible concert at a prep-school in Massachusetts. It turned out that the organizers having not planned where to put us, or how to amplify the concert so that people could hear us, or any of the other mundane things that go into a concert actually happening. So we had to scramble around to find a venue and figure out how to work the sound system. Also, a student at the school like our band and wanted to open for us, which we thought was nice and agreed to. It turned out that most of the crowd showed up for the sole purpose of heckling this kid. We had to pull him off the stage after about 15 minutes because it was just to tough to take, and that last thing this kid needed was to wind up crying on stage. We then played another concert that I was too angry to remember. That night ended with me and my Bassist yelling at each other for two hours.

Image taken by Darren Higgins

I am recounting this whole long story because this weekend pretty much killed my band. Before this weekend, everything was going well. We were developing fans and having a great time playing. After this weekend, my Singer ended up having vocal chord surgery, we spent a lot of money making an album that almost no one bought, and played shitty concert after shitty concert. Before this weekend, be use to look at concerts as competitions. We wanted everyone in the venue to know that we were the best band that night. After that weekend we started to see only the bad things that were happening to us, and that just took its toll. Arrogance is a necessary component to musical success, and after this weekend we started to lose our arrogance.

About six months later we were mostly broke in Chicago and decided to take a break and regroup. Mostly we were just tired, and after 3+ years we could no longer picture our Rolling Stone cover. We played our last concert in Alexandria, which curiously enough was the only concert we ever played that got written up in the Washington Post.

I should say that his weekend is not the reason why I hate New York City, but it is a reason why "(I Don't Want to Go To) Chelsea" is one of my favorite songs.

Virtuosity...

I was reading the comments to this post by Matt about covers and I had a few comments. First, a distaste for covers is mostly a rock music thing. The jazz greats all performed other people's songs, in fact rarely writing their own. Country music also has a clear line between songwriters in Nashville and singers. And classical musicians are almost always performing pieces written by someone else. It is really only a rock problem, and I think it stems from problems within the Rockist school of thought. The fact that rock music is the only discipline that has a problem with covering songs is particularly amusing given that just about all of the great rock stars started out playing covers. Check out the track listings on the first two Beatles albums for example. Both are about half covers.

But the real reason that I wanted to mention Yglesias's post is because someone brought up Rush in the comment sections, and nothing irritates me more than anything vaguely complementary about Rush. I really, really hate Rush. The problem with Rush is that anytime anyone praises them it always starts with the fact that they are very talented musicians. This is undeniably true, the guys can play. I remember looking at sheet music for "Limelight" and being impressed with the complexity. I remember thinking "This would take a while to learn." The problem with Rush is that my next thought was "Why would I was so much time to learn such a crappy irritating song?"


With Rush, the song takes a backseat to the virtuosity and that is why I really hate cannot stand the band. Just take a look at the picture of Neil Peart's drum set for example*. I am sorry, but no one needs that many drums. Each Rush song is an exercise in showing off how talented the musicians are rather than writing a good song. Also, Geddy Lee's voice makes me want to stab flaming q-tips in my ear.

The thing is that I love really talented musicians. Unlike some early punks, I think virtuosity is something that every musician should strive for, as long as the skill is secondary to the song. To show you what I mean I am including a YouTube video of Victor Wooten playing "Norwegian Wood" by the Beatles, a cover mind you. Victor just might be the most talented electric bass player of all time. I think of him as the Jimi Hendrix of the bass. Saw Victor play before I had ever even heard of him, and I spent the duration of the concert completely blown away. The man is jaw droppingly brilliant. But if you notice, his talent is there to serve the song, not outshine it.

If you need more proof, or just want to waste the day on YouTube, also check out his version of "Amazing Grace" here.

*For some reason the whole image is not showing up, but I think you get the idea from what is there. The man has drums completely surrounding him. The fact that he learned how to play drums behind him perfectly explains everything that is wrong with Rush.

Breakdown...

I am not sure what happened, but it feels like working too damn much has finally caught up with me. When I was at the restaurant on Monday, I just hit a wall and I have been out of it since. Also, still no Wii and I am not very happy about that. But Thanksgiving is coming and I won't be working at the restaurant for at least a week so everything is fine. Also, The Hold Steady this weekend and I am looking forward to that.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, mainly because it involves sitting around drinking and seeing my family without the pressure of having to buy them anything.

The real reason for this post is that I wanted to pass along this video of Earl Scruggs and Friends performing "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" on the David Letterman Show. It is a pretty amazing collection of talent on that stage.

I hope you all have a good Thanksgiving.

A Suspicous Mind...

I just became eligible for my company's 401k plan. Part of the paperwork involves designating a beneficiary for my meager savings. As I am unmarried, this creates something of a dilemma. An obvious choice right now is to name one of my parents as my beneficiary, but that only creates more problems. Which of my parents is less likely to kill me for the contents of my IRA plan? My father just got a new 50 inch HDTV, so I think he is probably the safer bet. I could name my sister, but then I would need to hire a food taster with every new fashion season. Tommy is clearly out, he probably already has a list of computer crap that he needs right now and also has the most opportunity. Hell, I am ready to designate the first person who can put a Nintendo Wii in my hands either tonight or tomorrow.

EVOOoooooh!

I am a big food network fan. Not for recipes, but mainly for discussing the personal lives of the chefs on the network. Take Ina Garten for example; she is clearly trapped in a loveless marriage and is trying to use food to win her husband back.

I have developed pretty strong opinion on most of the hosts. Most of them center around (see Sandra Lee who drives me completely insane) hate. I also cannot stand Rachel Ray. I am convinced that she spends all of her time off camera crying. Something has to balance out all the happiness and perkiness, because no one is that happy. That is why it made me smile when I read this today. When Anthony Bourdain was asked about the pros and cons of the food network he cited Rachel's show as a con and added:

“What's it, $30 a Day?” Bourdain asked. When reminded that Ray's program is titled $40 a Day, the celebrity chef shot back:

“$40 a day? Try tipping, bitch.”

This is all to say that Anthony Bourdain is awesome. According to Wikipedia, playing Billy Joel in his kitchen was grounds for firing. His show "No Reservations" is pretty great as well, and he has done a lot of drugs! Also, Les Halles has the best french fries in the District.

Boxing

I thought that I would pass this video along. It is a video of an exhibition fight that took place at my boxing gym a few weeks ago. The two guys having been training at the gym for a while, and the ref owns and runs the place. A quick note to my mother, I have not done this and you don't need to worry.

The Four Elephants...

Because I regularly attend church and all of my friends are godless heathens who revel in sin and depravity, it is my job to sneak them into heaven. I like to them as my +s on the evite to Heaven, they won't know anyone there and don't belong but they will drink all of the booze anyway. Anyway, I don't know if you guys have looked outside recently, but it is kind of a theme party so you all better but your best "I love Jesus" outfits on.

Thanks to Tommy for the photo, and Kriston for being himself.

These Are Your Rights...

I have to admit that I like Anthony Williams. Despite his various failings, he will leave the District better off than when he took over and I think that he should be applauded for that. That said, I also agree with Mark Plotkin. When asked in his chat yesterday what Mayor Williams's biggest failure was he answered:

"Never challenged our colonial status. We still don't have a vote in the House or Senate. All our laws can be overturned by Congress. We don't pick our own judges or prosecuting attorney. More than anything, the Mayor sitting in the box at the State of the Union year after year, he reminded me of a potted plant."

That is why it is nice to see Fenty write this in today's Post. Fenty also refuses to sit in the box at the State of the Union until the District gets voting rights. Sure that is mainly symbolic and will probably go unnoticed, but it is better than Williams ever did.

Also, I wanted to highlight this brilliant exchange from President Bush's November 8 press conference, the Post's Michael Fletcher is asking the questions:

Q Thank you, sir. There's a bill that could come before the lame-duck session of Congress, that would extend voting rights to the District of Columbia, in Congress, and also give an extra seat to Utah. You've been passionate about democracy in Iraq. Why not here in D.C., and would you support this bill?

THE PRESIDENT: I haven't -- it's the first I've heard of it. I didn't know that's going to come up from the lame duck.

Q -- Congressman Davis's bill.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, well, it may or may not come up. I'm trying to get the Indian deal done, the Vietnam deal done, and the budgets done. But I'll take a look at it. It's the first I've heard of it. Thanks.

Others have noted that Bush was lying about this answer and has heard of the bill before. Mark Plotkin claims that Bush has been briefed on the bill by Congressman Davis himself.

It is really shameful that residents of the District do not have representation in Congress. If you have a representative, please call them and urge them to support Congressman Davis's bill. You can go to DCVote for more information.

A Thought After Veterans Day...

Don't you think that members of 'THE GREATEST GENERATION" should tip more than 10% or else be forced to lose their title?

Fight for Old D.C.!

It is important to remember when watching the Redskins this year that the whole NFL is out to get us. Not just the teams, but the officials and the league office all the way up to Roger Goodell are trying to take the Redskins down. It is also important to remember that I am a sore loser.

One of my favorite theories was put forth on the radio by Sam Huff. The Arizona Cardinals were once members of the NFC East with the Redskins. Then in 2002 the league moved them to NFC West. As everyone knows, the Cardinals are not the best team in the league. One may think that the move had to do with "geography" when in reality is was an elaborate plot to take away 2 wins from the Redskins each year.

This year, the league got really sneaky and screwed the Redskins using the black art of scheduling. Jason La Canfora outlines the dastardly plot here, but the gist is that the Redskins are one of only 4 teams to play a team after its bye week 3 times. What is worse, the Redskins are callously forced to play all of these teams away, and two of those teams are division rivals! I ask you, what chance do the forces of good and truth have when faced with such unconscionable evil?

Also, and I might not be remembering this correctly, but I am pretty sure that Paul Tagliabue put a gun to Joe Gibbs head and made him sign and play Mark Brunell.

At least this keeps him off of the field...

Like many, I am excited about the Democratic victory yesterday. But I must admit that my excitement is tempered by the fact that Heath Shuler is returning to Washington. While Ezra makes some good points, the young and Californian Mr. Klein completely overlooks the fact that Mr. Shuler went 4-15 in games that he played for the Redskins. Frankly, I think that we have already reached our limit of sub-standard quarterbacks in this city. Stop Shuler has a good rundown here, but my favorite quote is:

"After going back and forth with Gus Frerotte in 1994 & 1995, he lost the job permanently in 1996 season, and took only one snap that year. The result of that play? A fumble."

Keep in mind that Shuler lost his job to a guy that went on to knock himself out of a game by head butting a stadium wall*. The upside is that Shuler's victory game Keith Olberman the line of the night.

Chris Matthews: ...and in North Carolina, challenger Heath Schuler completes his upset of incumbent Charles Taylor.

Keith Olberman: At least he completed something.

*It is a crime that Frerotte's head butt is not on YouTube. I am far enough removed from the event to be able to laugh about it now.

Do They Know It's Halloween?

While I don't like dressing up, I have decided to be a waiter this Halloween. To show my commitment to the costume I am going to spend the whole weekend in a restaurant! Beat that. I am certain that some people will have Zombie related costumes, but are you going to start eating brains? I bet not. I imagine that by Halloween proper I will have altered my costume into a tired waiter who should have paid more attention in college. In slightly related news, I hate the Marine Corps Marathon.

The video is for Tommy.

Friday...

The internets are going nuts this morning. Ryan and Lisa are coming back and Spencer is leaving TNR. I don't know what happened with Ryan and Lisa, but I suspect that Spencer was seduced by the useless layabout lifestyle of his roommates.

I was wiping down a table at the restaurant the other night, and managed to find a way to have the tine of a fork jut into the part of my finger between the tip of my finger and my fingernail. I was both amazed by the fact that this was possible, and by how much it hurt. I currently have a little red line the width of the tine of a fork running about halfway up my fingernail. I can't decide if I should be worried about losing the nail.

I think that I am ready to sell all of my possessions and follow whoever created this. Things are slow around the office, so I just might spend the rest of the day playing it.

This post's YouTube video is Psapp's "Tricycle" off of their newest album.

I like to think that I am doing my part to drive down productivity this dreary Friday.

Somewhere My Love Lies Sleeping (with a male chorus)

I am not sure if it is because I am a musician, or because I am crazy, but I constantly have music running through my head. The problem is that sometimes I start singing, and I am not really aware of it. For example, a few days ago I found myself walking around the office quietly singing:

"We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does"

I am not sure how this entered my mind, but I am pretty sure that it isn't normal.

And because all of my posts now are just excuses to search YouTube, and am including a scene from the Marx Brothers' movie "Animal Crackers." I am including this because:

1. I love the Marx Brothers, and I feel that they are a big reason why I am so crazy. I watched a lot of Marx Brothers movies when I was 10. This love, and craziness, runs in the family by the way. I am pretty sure, although it hasn't been confirmed, that one of my cousins is named after Groucho's "Lydia the Tattooed Lady."
2. I won't consider myself a proper pianist until I can play like Chico does in this clip. You really have to wait until the close up of his hands. It is pretty impressive.
   
3. It's my blog and I will do what I want.

So enjoy.

Music Miscellany

I think that 2006 has been a pretty good year musically. There hasn't been much that has really blown me away, except for The Hold Steady, but there have been a lot of really strong albums released this year. Psapp, Howe Gelb, and I'm From Barcelona are just a few examples. Another really good album is El Perro del Mar's release. I saw the video to "God Knows (You Gotta Give to Get)" on Pitchfork today, and I love posting YouTube videos, so I thought I would pass it along.

In other news, I just realized that Love is All, one of my favorite releases of either late last year or early this year depending on which country you are it, is playing the Black Cat on Wednesday. Does anyone want to go? Except for Catherine, she is busy.

My Plan for World Peace

My father's company, and another group, are hosting a conference this week, and last night they had a reception at the Air and Space Museum. They "rented" the whole museum, and it was pretty amazing. There was an open bar and good food, including a mashed potato bar with 4 different types of mashed potatoes and plenty of toppings that you ate out of a martini glass.

In addition to having the ability to drink your way through the exhibits, they also had the flight simulators open. I hadn't been to the museum in years, and I didn't know that they had flight simulators, but they were pretty impressive. You get into a cockpit, and the machine lifts up and executes barrel rolls and flips and the like. You have the option of controlling the flight yourself, or going running a simulation. After a few cocktails, I decided for the simulation, lest I end up drunk, upside down and unable to right myself.

As if drinking and flight simulators were not enough, the museum also had an IMAX showing of "Magnificent Desolation: Walking on the Moon," which is in 3D! This was the first movie that I have seen in 3D, and it was spectacular. At times the surface of the moon extended right up to your face and moon dust would be flying right at you. It was really, really amazing.

This all brings me to my plan for world peace. The conference has attendees from 80 different nations. People from all over the world, were gathered in the Air and Space Museum and having a great time. I realized that the problem with the United Nations is that they never have any fun.

You may be thinking, "The U.N. has serious business and no time for fun." But they problem with not having fun is that you can't threaten to take away fun. People argue that sanctions for example only hurt the poor in the country they are imposed on, and not the people making the decisions. Well, what if there was a rule that if you invaded another country you lost all of you open bar privileges? Or take North Korea, their delegation can't go to the IMAX movie. Sorry, but that's the rule. Imagine the jealousy when they hear the South Korean ambassador talking about how the flying dust looked so real that he ducked. That will teach them to test nuclear weapons.

I am convinced that under this plan we will have peace across the world in 3 weeks.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

The Hold Steady.

These guys are so good that I feel a little guilty that I haven't given them any money.

Education...

The Wire has me thinking a lot about education these days, particularly the ways to fix our schools. The post had a good article on the problem this weekend. Personally, I think the problem is that we don't make learning exciting enough. In that vein, let me suggest that this is a step in the right direction:


You can also go here and see how exciting educational films can be.

Wire Prediction

In a prediction that is so obvious that I am surprised that no one has made it, I am going to predict that Randy ends up working with Bubbles by the end of the season and is shooting heroin by the end of season 5.

I think that one of the things that the David Simon wants to show this season is how the characters we know ended up where they are. In this vein it is clear that Randy is a young Bubbles. They both are entrepreneurs, Bubbles selling to people on the street, and Randy to his classmates and people on the street. Episode 4 also featured Randy snitching on a classmate, a skill that Bubbles has often used. We know that Bubbles isn't to happy with the kid, whose name I have forgotten, he currently has working for him, and Randy would be a superior partner. Bubbles is also around the school more, trying to get his partner to learn the skills that Randy already has. I expect that Bubble will run into Randy selling out of his bag and recruit him. I think that Randy will be hesitant at first, but then run away from his strict foster mother.

If this were any other show, I would predict that being around Randy would force Bubbles into a come to Jesus moment where he cleans up for good. This is The Wire though, and that is why I see Randy turning into an addict instead.