A Suspicous Mind...

I just became eligible for my company's 401k plan. Part of the paperwork involves designating a beneficiary for my meager savings. As I am unmarried, this creates something of a dilemma. An obvious choice right now is to name one of my parents as my beneficiary, but that only creates more problems. Which of my parents is less likely to kill me for the contents of my IRA plan? My father just got a new 50 inch HDTV, so I think he is probably the safer bet. I could name my sister, but then I would need to hire a food taster with every new fashion season. Tommy is clearly out, he probably already has a list of computer crap that he needs right now and also has the most opportunity. Hell, I am ready to designate the first person who can put a Nintendo Wii in my hands either tonight or tomorrow.


  1. I had to fill out one of those forms when I set up my IRA. It felt kind of morbid, like writing a will.

    I ended up choosing my brother as the beneficiary, I figure he could use the 67 cents in the account the most. Though as a chemical engineering major he likely knows any number of traceless ways to poison people, so we'll see if that was the wisest choice.

  2. What this post tells me is that there is a huge untapped market for food tasters. I'm pretty sure I could be awesome at that job.

  3. Johanna10:37 PM

    Charles, that's not nice at all!

    I think I named Mom or Dad. It didn't occur to me that one of them would try to off me, but then again, we always did know they love me more.