An Old Enemy Returns...

Alright internet, I thought we had reached an agreement. I have made my position on ringtones very clear. So imagine my surprise when I see this article this morning. For those too lazy to follow the link, the American Composers Orchestra are having an online auction to raise money and some of the items being auctioned are ringtones. But not any ringtones, original ringtones by such composers as Danny Elfman, Laurie Anderson, and Phillip Glass.

Here is a link to the auction site for Phillip Glass's ringtone. A couple of quick things to note, bidding doesn't begin until April 10, but the opening bid is $100.00. Also, the estimated value of this ringtone is Priceless. Mirriam-Webster has many definitions for the word priceless, I hope the American Composers Orchestra intended "delightfully amusing, odd, or absurd," but I doubt it.

Unfortunately you can't listen to this masterpiece, but one has to imagine that it is spectacular. A work so brilliant that one will never answer their phone again! Although, after all those unanswered calls, the winner is going have to call themselves and that is just sad.

Here is the problem. The only people who will be impressed, or care, that you have an original ringtone by Phillip Glass are all hanging out at the opera house, where they make you turn off your cellphone. I guess you can gloat by leaving your phone on and dramatically interrupt a performance of Dr. Atomic, but that is probably a little uncouth for this crowd. In fact, isn't the whole ringtone phenomenon a little uncouth for this crowd?

Anyway, I can't wait to see how much this monstrosity actually goes for. Someone is guaranteed to pay at least $100 for a ringtone, but I hope it goes considerably higher. I mean, this is a priceless work of art we are talking about.