A Single Syllable

Can't Talk Now, I Have a Class to Teach!

2009-01-15T16:41:00.005-05:00

So, I have been kinda busy.

Last Friday I played Journopalooza with the Surge. While a weird gig, probably not the weirdest that I have ever played. It did kinda feel like a wedding though, and not a cool Belgian or Californian wedding.

On Monday, I saw Betrayed with Sarah Jessica Parker. Some may say that I saw Betrayed in the same theater as Sarah Jessica Parker, and I may say that those people are jerks. It was a really good play, and family friend Jeremy Beck was great.

On Tuesday I feel at a work event and cut my left pointer finger pretty good. It bled for about a day, and that was fun. I got a tetanus shot, now with extra Whopping Cough protection, so it was really a fortunate accident. It is also fortunate that I am not in a band right now, because I cannot play an instrument right now, and probably won't be able to play for at least a week.

Speaking of my former band, we have been nominated for a Wammie for Modern Rock group. I don't quite know how I feel about this.

Finally, Aloha Hawaii.

Bring Him Home

2008-12-29T14:04:00.004-05:00

I saw Signature Theater's production of Les Miserables yesterday, and it is very good. I think people will find it particularly affecting if they have seen a fully Broadway style production. People much smarter than me have already written about it, but let me add two things that I liked.

First, the intimate staging gives a "Do You Hear the People Sing?" a nice accusatory feeling. The performers are really close to everyone in the audience, and look directly at the audience throughout the performance. When I have seen this number in traditional performances, the song has inviting feel, sort of "come on down and join us." In this production it has a "look at all of this tragedy, what are YOU going to do about it." I like that switch.

Second. The barricades, or at least part of them, are always on the stage reminding you of the sacrifice of the students either to come, or that has happened. It looms over the whole production.

On a larger point. It seems like Washington theater is on the rise. Companies like Arena Stage, Wooly Mammoth, Synetic, and Signature are staging good, interesting works. I have read that Washington has become/is becoming a major theater city. Kriston tells me that Washington has a thriving and important art scene, one of the better in the countries, and you know that I am a fan of DC music.

I am predicting that in a year the New York Times will write one of those irritating "look, things sometimes happen outside of our city" articles about DC theater/art scene. They will attribute the increase in quality to Obama.

Speaking of local music. Le Loup just did a Daytrotter session that you should download.

Dey Know (Blago)

2008-12-12T09:10:00.002-05:00

What does a man do when his band breaks up? Produces rap songs about disgraced Illinois governors of course! You can read more here.

And I Say Hello

2008-12-05T15:22:00.004-05:00

Well, I am back. The band is done, so I figured I would just head back over here. Judging from the titles of this and the previous post, I guess I was destined to come back here after all.

There isn't much to add to what I wrote over at the band site. There just isn't much to say. We were a band that had some good songs, and played some good concerts, but overall just didn't work. The one thing that I didn't put in is that I think the breakup is mostly my fault. I have a feeling that if I really wanted the band to continue, then it probably would.

You Say Goodbye...

2007-09-21T14:33:00.000-04:00

I think is should be fairly obvious, but I am not really posting over here any more. Not that I was the most prolific blogger out there. Actually, I am just going to start posting over at the band blog. For example, I just posted a recap of my performance at Darren and Emilie's wedding. So head over there. I also now cover the Nats, and Boxing, for DCist.

Misc: Stupid Band Edition

2007-08-21T15:03:00.001-04:00

First, I want to reiterate what I said over at the band blog. Thank you all for coming out to the last few concerts. Sundays and Mondays suck, a lot, and it is great that so many of you came out to them. Fortunately, we are giving you all a break for a few months.

Also, let me add DCist to my growing blog empire. Today my first post covering the Nats went up. I hope to have at least one column a week about the Nats, and a boxing post whenever it is relevant. This is all part of my plan for global domination that involves taking on projects that don't pay me anything. At least at DCist, unlike the stupid band, I won't be losing any money.

My band managed to schedule a concert in Norfolk this Friday followed by a concert in New York on Saturday. I think this picture accurately sums up the situation.

In other exciting news, I don't have Celiac Disease, so that is good.

Hello...

2007-08-08T11:12:00.000-04:00

Gosh, it has been a while since I have been here. Between attempting to keep my band together, and a child-like ability to be fascinated by free internet flash games, I just haven't had the time to write on this site. Well that all changes today!

First, because I know that you all are fascinated by my digestive system, I recently had a blood test to determine if I have Celiac Disease. Throughout this whole medical situation I have attempted to make a series of compromises. For example, I would have preferred depression to lactose intolerance. Well now, I am really pulling for lactose intolerance, because this Celiac thing looks like even less fun. And while a lot of things have dairy, I suspect that even more things have wheat. Also, I am not really comfortable with the thought of my body attacking itself.

The owner of my restaurant recently sold the place. It has been a hard year or so for her, and I am glad that she is finally free of the restaurant. She worked harder, and had to endure more crap, than anyone should and I wish her all of the best. It was funny, one the last night, most of the staff gathered at the restaurant. As we were saying goodbye, I realized that this had become more than a job to all of us. There were plenty of hugs, and exchanging of e-mails and addresses. It felt more like the last day of school than the last day of waiting tables. This feeling is a tribute to my former owner. Everyone worked there because they loved her. So congratulations Jefa!

In a funny way, I am going to miss the restaurant. Sure I was busy all the time, but I got use to it. Last night, I came got home around 5:30, and did nothing. By 9:00 I felt like it was bed time. I am just not use to having that much time to myself on a weekday. Granted, as compared to the wheat stomach eating disease, this is a pleasant problem to have.

In more exciting news, my band is a finalist to get the last spot on the FettoFest. The competition will take place this Sunday at Growlers Pub in Gaithersburg. Those unable to attend will be able to listen to the performance on 94.7, or on The Globe's website.

And in actually exciting news. My friend Darren is getting married to the lovely Emilie in Belgium in September, so I get to go to Europe. I will be spending three days in Paris before departing to Brussels. It should be a lot of fun. For example, I think I might be staying in a castle for a few nights.

So that is it for now. I think I should be congratulated for creating a remarkably boring post out of actually interesting activities.

2007-07-17T08:44:00.000-04:00

First, I would like to thank everyone for coming out to the Velvet Lounge last Friday. It is nice to see that you all don't hate me, and are not afraid of FRIDAY THE 13TH! So thank you again.

For those who missed the show, shame on you. Don't you know that my band is endorsed by the Atlantic? Also, I accidentally knocked my keyboard off of the stand and had to finish playing the song with it on the ground. This was bound to happen given that I violently play it with a tambourine. The problem is that I like the effect of the keyboard falling and thus this "accident" might have to happen at every concert.

It looks like I am going to start writing about sports for DCist. I will probably start covering the Nationals in August, although when I agreed to the gig it looked like the team would be historically bad rather than just mundanely bad, so I feel a little gypped. Anyway, my first post is up, and it is about Tony "The Tiger" Thompson. He is a left-handed boxer from DC, who just won a big fight to get a title shot. My hope is that I can parlay this DCist thing into free tickets to boxing matches in the area.

Speaking of historically bad, it finally happened. Congratulations to the Phillies, and the wonderful sports fans of Philadelphia. Let me wish you 10,000 more.

I really like my neighborhood a lot, and I am excited when new businesses move into it. For example, I box because there is a gym about a block from my apartment. I have started Yoga because a studio opened up within a block of my apartment as well. I am excited that Corduroy is moving nearby, and all of the other restaurants that have and will be opening up. That said, I am a little worried about this place. A bar/club/whatever that only caters to members sounds a little Smith Pointy to me. Also, looking at the application, I am pretty sure that I can't: a) gain membership, or b) afford it. This has me a little worried, and I might have to investigate more.

Tonight! and Free!

2007-07-13T11:28:00.000-04:00

Come out an see us tonight at the Velvet Lounge with Lights Resolve and Black & White Jacksons. We should be going on around 11:00, I think, but don’t hold me to that. We have free copies of our EP “A Weekend Affair” to hand out, but you do have to pay to get in.

For those of you who can’t make it out tonight, or who want to bankrupt us with shipping costs, you can order a copy of the EP here.

Dearly Beloved...

2007-07-06T12:44:00.000-04:00

First, in the "Things I Don't Want To Do at 9:00 am After a Bachelor Party" category, let me add "smell items in the company refrigerator to determine what is giving the office the unique aroma of dead rotting animals." Fortunately, I prepared for work today by not reaching the level of debauchery appropriate for the event last night.

Second, the band is playing at the Velvet Lounge on Friday, July 13th with Lights Resolve and Black & White Jacksons. This is a concert that we would really like a good amount of people to come out to, and most of you live withing 5 blocks of the club, so it would be nice to see you all out. Besides, you are not going to let a stupid superstition scare you away, are you? The only thing that I will be able to conclude is that you are a coward if you don't come out next Friday. Or you hate me. Those are your only two options.

So, what else has happened since we last spoke?

It looks like I am lactose intolerant. I haven't had dairy in a month and I have felt a lot better. As much as I want to believe that I am just very depressed, it looks like milk is the culprit. I have learned is the dairy is in anything worth eating. I am willing to bet that your favorite food contains dairy. I go back to the doctor on Monday, and then we start "re-introducing" dairy. There are degrees of lactose intolerance, and I will have the fun job of figuring out what I can and can not eat. I guess that means drinking milk and waiting around for side effects, which should be a lot of fun.

What has been fun is the amount of foods containing dairy that both Tommy and my mother now like to offer me. I realize that I use to eat a lot of dairy, particularly cheese, and they are not use to these restrictions yet, but it is funny none the less. Typically they offer me something, like ice cream. I respond that I can't eat it, and then they have a brief confused look on their face before they remember my intolerance and then apologize. I seriously think Tommy went from never offering me ice cream, to offering it to me 3 days in a row after my diagnosis. It was pretty great.

Also, I want to strangle people at my restaurant who order American cheese on hamburgers when we have so many other worthy cheeses available.

It appears that I have entered into the "everyone you know is getting married" stage of my life. I went to a wedding party last weekend, and I have a wedding this weekend. Two weddings in September, and others that I can't attend. Given that Hugh Grant's character name in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was Charles, I have decided to imagine that my life is a British romantic comedy. For the record, it is thoughts like these that give me hope that depression can beat out lactose intolerance as the cause of my stomach ailments.

At the party last weekend I learned that there is a beach less than 30 miles away from D.C. While I wouldn't bring my surfboard, it is a lovely spot. While I was out there I also stopped by Annapolis, which I frequently forget a) is close to D.C., and b) exists. It was nice, kinda like Old Town but slightly younger and more energetic. I say that, but you must realize that I saw about 15-20 guys in seersucker suits in the span of about 45 minutes, so only slightly younger and more energetic.

Disappointment...

2007-06-19T08:30:00.000-04:00

So, I was watching Jeopardy last week with the roommates, and this happened:

Tommy and I quickly decided that this was the single greatest moment in Jeopardy, and possibly TV history. Then, while searching for the clip to share with the rest of you I found this:

I guess it is not that big a deal. It is just that I wanted to believe that a huge comic book nerd had come up with a great joke rather than stealing from a TV show that I am not that big a fan of. While Family Guy has some good moments, when it is not funny it is painfully not funny.

Sacrilege...

2007-06-12T15:20:00.000-04:00

Ordinarily I find Stereogum to be a fine blog, but today they wrote something that I must respond to. In this post they wrote:

"Actually, we spent more time with that Autobot that became a boombox, and his little cassette sidekicks that became robo-dudes and/or panthers -- and Optimus was a pretty big pussy in his fights with Megatron , wasn't he"

I will ignore the fact that the author misidentifies Soundwave as an Autobot, but I will not stand idly by while someone badmouths Optimus Prime. I think that this video clip is all the argument I need.

Misc.

2007-06-07T10:58:00.000-04:00

First, I don't mean to only post when I have a concert, but that is the way it has been recently. I realize that it makes this blog look like just a tawdry marketing scheme calling into question my journalistic integrity, but let me assure that that is not the case. I use Facebook for marketing, and general internet annoying.

Tonight we are playing at Chief Ike's with First Rays and Prabir and the Substitutes. This is a good lineup, and you should come for all of it. The show starts at 9:00, and the order is First Rays, Prabir, and then us.

As an interesting side note, Adam played in a band in the 8th grade with 3/4 of First Rays. They were called Incubus long before that other band busted out the turntables. I remember them performing a tribute to Kurt Cobain at the final 8th grade school concert. I can actually remember some of the verse, and it was great. Also, I frequently play with Andrew from First Rays in church, and have been for years. I am personally hoping for a final jam at the end of the night mixing their 8th grade band with contemporary worship songs. I think that it will be a lot like this,

except horrible.

The beach was good. Although it was weird to be at the beach with my friends for a week and spend the whole time sober, particularly given the amount of alcohol everyone else imbibed. Let me submit this as exhibit A:

Thanks to Julian for recording this. I should note that this occurred before everyone decided that they had to finish the handle of Jim Beam to prove something to Sommer, I was too sober to determine what. I also found it funny that Matt called it Jim Bean. I think that Jim Bean would be a great title for a fairy tale. Something like Jack and the Beanstalk, but with more vomiting.

I saw the specialist, and had some tests done, and apparently there is nothing wrong with me. I have no diseases, viruses, or cancer. Normally this would be good news, and it is, except that there is something wrong with me. The specialist's two current hypotheses are either:

The illness that I had in February changed the way I digest things and I might be lactose intolerant now. I checked on the hypochondriacs handbook WebMD and apparently this does actually happen. If this is the case the condition could either be temporary or permanent. I am currently not eating dairy for a month and then I go back to the specialist.
My illness is the product of an anxiety disorder and/or depression.

This is why I was pulling for a bacteria or virus. I figured that they could just give me some pills and clear everything up. Also, I don't see why the two theories are mutually exclusive. For example, I am not going to be happy if I can't eat cheese for the rest of my life. That is also why I am currently hoping for depression, at least then I will get some cool pills. Lactose intolerance is just too severe a punishment to bear.

So that is what is going on with me. As a side note, has anyone ever heard of the band Nomo? Just curious.

Another Day Another Destiny...

2007-05-24T11:19:00.000-04:00

First, my band is playing tonight at The Red and the Black with The Chaos of Birds and The Daybreak Line. We should be going on around 10. Even if you don't like my band, come and enjoy H Street in all of its "transitional" glory.

In other exciting news, we have been asked to open for Pawns at The Velvet Lounge. As I wrote over at the band blog, this is the first time I have been in a band that has been asked to play a concert. I am use to begging for the right to play some horrible bars, and I just don't know how react. In many ways, I have already accomplished more with this band in two months than I did in 5 years with my last band. That realization makes me happy, although I do wonder what the hell I was doing for those 5 years. I would like to thank the internet for making being in a band easier. Also, I begrudgingly thank Myspace, although I am not happy about it. Now all I need is to actually be paid in some form, however small, for playing music. That would be nice.

I have decided that despite my recent misfortunes, I am going to only focus on the positives in my life. For example, I am grateful that there was nothing in my car when it was broken into on Saturday night. That will teach those thieves to break into crappy purple Dodge Neons. My stereo didn't even merit theft, how great is that! I am king of the world, albeit a ruler without a rear driver side window.

In actual good news, I am going on vacation next week. This will be my first real vacation in a while. In fact, I can't remember that last time I took a vacation. Hopefully my mysterious illness will play nice for the week.

The Deep Dark Truthful Mirror

2007-05-11T11:11:00.000-04:00

Adam is very bored at work and made up a fake Power Point presentation for our band. Basically, it is just pictures with a brief description of all of us. For me he wrote:

Charles: Guitar, Bass, Piano, Vocals
Likes: Boxing, Smoking, Drinking, Cleaning, Complicated Stuff.
Dislikes: Too many to list. Suffice it to say, he probably doesn’t like something right now.

It is shockingly accurate.

In other band news, we had to cancel our Sunday concert at DC9. Mothers across the region can thank us later.

My Week...

2007-05-07T13:05:00.000-04:00

Well I have had a fantastic couple of days. Where to begin?

First, it appears that I have contracted some kind of recurring disease. I won't go into detail, but I get these attacks that are fairly unpleasant and come without warning. I have been to see my doctor, twice!, and he finally got me on some medication that seems to be working. Apparently I have to take this medication for 2 months. I am not very happy about this. An unfortunate side effect is that this has made me more anti-social than normal, which is quite a feat. I wasn't even sure that was possible

When I went to get my prescription filled I learned that my insurance doesn't cover the drug in question, but they suggested a different but similar drug. I found it fascinating that my insurance, people who I have never seen, had the gall to overrule the doctor who had examined me. It is really amazing. Anyway, after a few calls back and forth between me, my doctor, and my pharmacist, we eventually all agreed on a prescription that wouldn't cost me $160 to fill. Hopefully it will also address my symptoms.

I decided that if this prescription doesn't work, my band is going to start playing Huey Lewis's "I Want a New Drug." Also, I then have to see a specialist!

In other news, while walking to work last Tuesday I got a ticket for entering an intersection after the signal had changed. The walk signal had changed to the flashing hand right right before I entered the crosswalk. Does anyone know why I should pay this ticket? I pay parking tickets so as not to get booted, but what are the repercussions for not paying this? Lead shoes? (Note, I think my ability to keep up my sense of humor despite these trials is admirable.)

I also got to play a concert while sick on Tuesday. Which is really not a lot of fun. The upside was that I left right after we got off stage, and thus didn't have to move any equipment.

Also, a speaker has blown in my car, thus reducing all music to a muddy distorted mess. Just in time for the drive down to the beach! I would really like to get this fixed, but I really can't afford it. Music is pretty much the only thing that keeps me (relatively) sane.

This problem is exacerbated because I have to drive back to the D.C. area to play a concert on Tuesday, May 29th. Apparently we "won" the show at T.T. Reynolds that I was sick for, and now play in the local music finals on that Tuesday. So I will be driving back to D.C. on Tuesday, and then back to the beach on Wednesday. Then I have to be in Baltimore for a gig on June 2nd. This will be a lot of driving with broken speakers. Maybe there is a good chop shop near my apartment where I can purchase "used" car speakers.

In real good news. I thought the Arcade Fire were really good on Friday. I had the "benefit" of never seeing them before, and thus nothing to compare them to, but I enjoyed it a lot. Also, Michel Richard's Central is a really good restaurant. It isn't even that expensive, well compared to Citronelle at least.

So that has been my week. The main problem is that I should avoid alcohol due to my medical condition. I have decided that avoid = "no whiskey, and slightly fewer beers." Of course, this has removed a my major coping mechanism, thus enhancing each of these problems. Sobriety is a curse unto itself, and almost too much to bear given the my other circumstances.

Road Gig!

2007-04-27T13:25:00.000-04:00

Tonight my band plays its first road gig. Whenever I think of playing out of DC, I always think of this Tenacious D episode. We are playing at the Brass Monkey Saloon, and here is the information. We are going on late, like 12:30 or so.

I learned in my last band that I should always wear earplugs. They are mostly great, but I have noticed a recent problem. We have been practicing a fair amount, and thus I have been wearing earplugs a fair amount. The problem is that they are messing with my earwax. Currently my right ear feels slightly blocked. It will eventually go away, but it is irritating none the less.

History...

2007-04-25T08:41:00.000-04:00

One of the problems with the Nationals is their lack of history. Actually, more to the point, the problem is that we don't know which history we want to adopt. When the team moved to Washington, there were discussions about which records we would celebrate and hold on to. Which Senator's records would we use, the ones that became the Rangers or the Twins or both? And what about the Expo's records? It is confusing.

That is why I see the Nationals as starting a new history, which is one of the things that makes the team exciting. Also, that would be the one benefit of a historically bad season. It would give the team character, and something to talk about years down the road. We could all say, "I was there when."

In many ways I envy a team like the Philadelphia Phillies. They have a long and storied history, and their fans should be proud of it. For example, this site is fantastic. I am seriously thinking about trying to make it up to Philly for the Phillies unprecedented 10,000 loss. Think how exciting that would be. No other professional sports franchise, in any sport mind you, has ever lost 10,000 games. Just the thought of the Phillies losing 10,000 games makes me giddy.

So congratulations Philadelphia! I should also mention that Philly is the city with 4 professional sports teams that has gone the longest without a championship. Truly you are the losingest losers to ever lose.

Thank You...

2007-04-13T12:36:00.000-04:00

I intended to write this yesterday, but stupid work got in the way. Also, I was hella tired. Anyway, I want to thank everyone for coming out to see our debut on Wednesday. It went a lot better than I could have expected, although I am not the most optimistic person in the world so take that with a grain of salt.

I also want to thank everyone who linked to us. It was really unexpected. Personally, I was going to wait until we had played a few concerts before I demanded links. In fact, the bandwidth for our album was all used up and Tommy had to come up with some new hosting. I like to think of it as having been Yglesiased.

For a little behind the scenes information. I usually sing on more songs, but Aaron plugged in a short guitar chord, and I couldn't both play the guitar and sing at the same time. That is something we are going to have to work on. Also, the last song was so long because that is what a starting band does when they don't have enough material to fill out a set list. I hope to shorten it in the future.

Thanks to Tommy for the picture.

Living on the Lighted Stage

2007-04-11T11:39:00.000-04:00

I hate Rush. A lot. One reason that I hate Rush is that Neil Peart's drum solos are so long and useless that bassist/keyboardist/irritating vocalist Geddy Lee uses them as an opportunity to check on his fantasy baseball stats. Seriously.

Tonight...

2007-04-11T10:09:00.000-04:00

Just a friendly reminder, but tonight is my band's first concert at the Velvet Lounge. We are playing with Tenley from American University. We should be going on around 9:00 and I think that tickets are $6.00. This could all be completely wrong; I am always wary of trusting information given to me by Aaron. You all should come out. Yes You! I have also put a new version of Cultured Capital with real drums up on our blog.

What I find shocking is that all of sudden my band is playing a lot of concerts. We have seven concerts in the next 2 months. I went from not being in a band at all to being in a very busy band awfully quick.

For my friends who have never known anyone in a band before, this means that you are going to hear a lot of whining from me. You can ask Tommy, who has been to the Grog and Tankard more times then any man not convicted of a crime should. Trust me, I feel bad about begging people to come to concerts, but this is life in a band.

The truth is that it is important that some of our concerts are well attended, and others, ahem, can fall by the wayside. To that end, I promise only to bug you all when it is important. While I would love for you all to come to every concert, I am much more realistic.

Comin' to Liberate You

2007-04-06T14:52:00.000-04:00

Just so you all know, if I ever get the chance to stand on the same stage as Bruce Springsteen while he was playing "Rosalita" I would look exactly like Craig Finn from the Hold Steady in this video.

Assuming that I didn't pass out first.

Of course, this is the definitive live "Rosalita" live performance. I dare anyone to watch that and tell me that Bruce is not a genuine rock god. If I can have just one song from my concert on April 11th end like this one does, then this whole learning to play the guitar thing will be totally worth it.

New Music...

2007-04-06T10:12:00.000-04:00

I am not sure if our drummer, Spencer, wanted to re-record some of the drums on the new album because he wanted the music to reflect us as a band more, or because he hated my fake drumming, but on Wednesday we went to his house and recorded some real drum parts. We have the first new song, Strike Up The Band, up over at The City Veins' blog. You should go over and have a listen.

In other news, I installed this plugin and so far I think it works great. If you are thinking about hosting music on your Wordpress blog, you should definitely check it out.

Ominous Signs at RFK...

2007-04-03T11:03:00.000-04:00

And I am not referring to the score.

Opening day was good. The Nats lost, but if that surprised you then you are in for a long season. What is funny is that the team, or at least the ownership, know how bad things could get for this team. For example:

When I arrived at my seat, there was a video preview of the new stadium, including descriptions of various luxury boxes and seating arrangements. This was combined with the graphics of construction girders that adorned all of the images on the scoreboard. The announcer welcomed us to the last opening day at RFK stadium. Not one pitch had been thrown yet, and we were already encouraged to look forward to next year.

The guess the year trivia question was, "In what year did 'Major League' come out?" I am going to let the IMDB plot description speak for itself:

"The new owner of the Cleveland Indians puts together a purposely horrible team so they'll lose and she can move the team."

Hmm....

Finally, the slogan for this season is "Pledge Your Allegiance." One will earn their fan stripes every time they show up at the ballpark this year.

Actually, I don't think the season will be all that bad this year. Expectations have been lowered to the point where this team can, and probably will, trip over them.

Help Me Internets, You Are My Only Hope.

2007-03-30T12:29:00.000-04:00

I have spent the last few days trying to set up the band's blog. This is what I have so far. I need to design a header and change the color scheme, but overall I am happy. The problem is that I have a few things that I would like to do that I can't seem to find any plugins or widgets for. Note, this is a Wordpress 2.1.2 blog.

First, I would like to be able to select an author's name and go to all of the posts by that author. I have seen this done, but I can't seem to figure it out. It would also be nice to have the author's names appear on the sidebar with the same clickable functionality.

Also, I would like a section in the sidebar that lists our upcoming concerts. It would be nice if you could click on them and go to more information, be it a post about them or whatever. I have tried this, but I can't seem to make it work. Any help would be much appreciated.

Also, feel free to let me know if you have any other ideas for band blog functionality.

Baseball Preview...

2007-03-28T13:28:00.000-04:00

We are less than one week from Opening Day, otherwise known as the greatest day of the whole year. Admittedly, the prospects for the Nationals are not great. Sports writers can't seem to decide if the Nationals will lose a laughable number of games, a historic number of games, or somewhere in between. My current favorite prediction comes from King Kaufman's Sports Daily. His prediction for the finishing order for the NL East is:

"Philadelphia, Atlanta (wild card), New York, Florida, Grand Canyon, Marianas Trench, Washington"

So why go to the ballpark this year?

The first, and most important reason, is that this is a year to get your Fan cred. When the Nationals start winning, and people start showing up to the stadium with new baseball hats you will be able to scoff at them and say, "I was there in 2007."

If you go with me, you can watch me try to keep up with all of the runs scored and pitching changes in my scorebook. I imagine that things could get pretty hectic around RFK this year, and the 2007 season could be the greatest test of my scorekeeping abilities for years to come.

Also, there is a certain poetry to the dejected baseball fan watching the other team bat around. In fact, baseball fans are better at yelling at/hating/cursing the team they love than any other sports fans.

Finally, a day at a baseball game is better than just about anything else.

But you should be prepared. This season ~~could~~ will be ugly. The Phillies fans will be even more insufferable, and New York fans even more smug. You will have to hear the horrible Tomahawk chop from Braves fans, and...well, I don't think their are Marlins fans. That said, the Presidents race is one of the greatest innovations to team sports in the last 10 years, and Teddy has still yet to break into the W column. That alone is reason enough to visit RFK.

April 11th at the Velvet Lounge

2007-03-26T13:09:00.000-04:00

I am please to announce that my band, The City Veins, has its first concert on Wednesday, April 11th at the Velvet Lounge. I will give you more details as they become available. But you all have to come, and these are the reasons:

Most of you live within 6 blocks of the Velvet Lounge
Most of you have never seen me perform live
Most of you don't have real jobs that you have to wake up for on Thursday

Again, click here to download our album. Remember, my blog readership is small and I know almost all of you personally, including all of your home addresses. There will be penalties for non-compliance.

Friday Miscellany...

2007-03-23T11:07:00.000-04:00

This whole voting rights thing has made me so angry that I can barely contain myself. Never mind that we are fighting for legislation that will still leave us short of full representation, but the way that the Republicans derailed the bill only highlights why it is so necessary. The fact that people who we didn't vote for can change our gun laws proves why we need someone on the Hill that represents us.

I am pretty sure that I am going to take off of work to participate in this, and you should too.

I really like DCist's answer to Representative Charles Boustany. I am still figuring out what issue I want to bring up with my new Representative. I wish that we could go farther. I am envisioning a day when all DC residents don't work. I would imagine there are enough residents working on the Hill, as Waiters, Cab Drivers, Metro Operators, Security Guards, etc. to make life markedly more difficult for the congressmen who domineer over us.

In related news, D.C.'s own These United States are the Thursday session over at Daytrotter and you should go give a listen. It seems to me that D.C. is starting to develop a pretty good, non-Dischord, music scene. It is nice to see.

Finally, due to Catherine's prodding, and boredom at work, I now have a Facebook profile. You should go over an be my friend. Full disclosure, I mainly plan on using it to harass people to come to my concerts.

UPDATE: Apparently it was Congressman Louie Gohmert that brilliantly opined:

"I would submit to you that Washington, D.C. is also the only city in the entire country that every Senator and every Member of Congress has a vested interest in seeing that it works properly, that water works, sewer works, and no other city in America has that."

I for one have noticed a fair number of potholes around that I am sure that Louie wants to hear about.

Also, I forgot to add that Matt is not welcome in my apartment if he is packing.

MySpace

2007-03-19T12:28:00.000-04:00

On of the unfortunate side effects of being in a band is that you have to use MySpace. I have accepted that we have to have a profile and that I will have to use the site fairly regularly, but I still hate it. It is just so very ugly, both visually and functionally.

That said, it is apparently important that we have lots of friends on MySpace. I can't imagine that people booking concerts pay that much attention to the number of MySpace friends you have. For example, can I get a gig at DC9 if we have 200 friends, but not if we have 150? I have been out of the band thing for a while, so maybe this is the case.

Anyway, if you have a MySpace account please become my friend. Note, Adam messed up something, so our first MySpace account, http://www.myspace.com/thecityveins, is not our account. We are currently using, http://www.myspace.com/cityveins.

Go Ducks!

2007-03-16T11:28:00.000-04:00

I think that every person should see this video of Greg Paulus flopping last night. It is fantastic.

In other NCAA news, my bracket is still intact. I have historically done pretty well in NCAA pools. My philosophy is that you have to dare to be great, and not be afraid of looking really stupid. I always pick a few teams that probably are not going to go far, but have a respectable chance of doing so. I like this strategy because, if one does well then I make up a lot of points where other people are not. I don't even try to believe that I can pick everything right, I just try to get lucky with one or two teams. For example, this year my whole bracket depends on Oregon and Louisville. If they do well, then I will probably win, if not (which is likely) then I look like an idiot.

I Feel Like Dancing...

2007-03-14T11:12:00.000-04:00

I know that I have a lot of friends who work developing websites, so it pains me to say this, but you all can just give up. I have found the greatest website ever. There is no way that you can top this, so why even bother.

Created here

I Call Upon the Power of the Internet...

2007-03-08T10:34:00.000-05:00

Now that I am in a band, I have to design a band website. It has been a while since I have done a band website, and a lot has changed on the internet since then. So I wanted to ask all of you wonderful Web 2.0 people: "what do you like in a band website?" What features must we have, and what horrible mistakes have you seen on websites? For example, I know that long flash intros that are required every time you visit the website are bad. Do we think that a blog is a good idea for a band, keeping in mind that Adam will be one of the people writing for it? Please, leave any ideas you have in comments. Thanks

Also, you will notice that I have left a permanent link to download our album on the sidebar. Again, feel free to pass it around, or link to it, or whatever.

A Weekend Affair

2007-03-05T10:58:00.000-05:00

The album, "A Weekend Affair" by The City Veins, is finished, click here to download it. The album is zipped up, which I don't think should be a problem for most people, but you may need to download a program to unzip it. Feel free to share it, burn it, trade it, post links to it, or whatever. All that I ask is that if by the grace of God you manage to actually make any money with it, please give me some.

We called the album "A Weekend Affair" because the whole thing was recorded, and mostly written, over the course of a single weekend. Overall, I must say that I am surprised at how happy I am with the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I still hate everything, but I always hate everything I record. Given that we decided to record the album on a lark, and that we hadn't really written or arranged anything, things could have been a lot worse. There are a few things that I would change if I had more time, but not many.

The only other thing that I want to add is to explain that I intentionally put very little time between songs. I wanted the experience of listening to the album to be like the experience of recording it. We just moved quickly from one song to the next without any time really to reflect on what we had done, and I think that I mostly captured that feeling with the sequencing of the songs.

In other news, it looks like we might actually become a real band. Hopefully I will have news of a show in the D.C. area by the end of the week, or early next week. While we don't have a "drummer" yet, or remember how to "play the songs," we are reasonably confident that we can get our act together in time. Hell, we recorded an album without any real preparation, how bad can a concert be? Assuming that it isn't at the Grog anyway.

Donors Choose...

2007-03-02T09:14:00.000-05:00

So this hasn't been a great week. Not a bad "get me a fifth of scotch" week, but a week filled with a series of minor annoyances that added up. I had a bunch of things I planned on accomplishing this week, and managed to complete none of them. It was irritating, and I am glad that the week is over.

The one bright spot was a package that I received from Donors Choose. Donors Choose is a non-profit organization that collects proposals for materials or programs from public school teachers and then asks for donations on their website to fund the proposals. You can read more about the organization here. You can search for proposals by area of the country, subject, and/or price range. One can also fully or partially fund a proposal. The non-profit use to go by the name Means for Dreams.

I came across the site a few months ago during my internet travels. I liked the idea behind it, and found that a Kindergarten teacher at a school near me had put in a proposal for a laminating machine so that her teaching materials would last longer. I decided to fund this proposal, put in my credit card information, and then didn't think much else about it.

Well a few days ago, I got a package in the mail with a lovely handwritten thank you note from the teacher, thank you cards from the students, and pictures of the students. I also got this poster.

It just makes me smile.

So let me encourage you to wander over and check out the site. We hear a lot of negative things about the state of public schools, particularly in here in the District, and this website is certainly not going to solve the big problems that our schools are facing. But if their are still teachers who still care enough to write proposals and go through the vetting process that the non-profit uses, and enough people who stumble across the site and help out with whatever they can, then maybe there is some hope.

I Walk the Line...

2007-02-28T12:00:00.000-05:00

An Attorney from my office wanted to go to a hearing this morning. In order to ensure that he got in, he sent me early to get a place in line for him. Early, as in 2 1/2 hours before the the hearing started early. I must admit though, the experience was kind of amazing.

I don't think that many people are aware of this, but here in Washington we have professional line sitters. There is a whole group of people who are hired by lobbyists, law firms, and the like to wait in line so that they can get into hearings. I learned that most of them sleep outside of the House and Senate Office Buildings in order to get good spots. The result is that they have large bags to hold their stuff, and lots of ratty sweaters and layers on. Frankly, they look slightly homeless.

I managed to be the second person in line for my hearing, but another hearing in the same hall had about 14 line sitters already waiting at 7:30. The guy at the front of that line spent about an hour snoring loudly, leaving me to wonder just how long he had been there. I don't blame him, the Rayburn has some lovely leather couches for people to wait on. The guy in front of me seemed to be in charge of some of the line sitters. He was frequently on his cellphone and got up a lot to check on people throughout the building to make sure that all the necessary spots were saved.

He also told me about a very popular hearing last summer that a lot his clients wanted to go to. Apparently one of his competitors started the line for it 3 weeks before the hearing started, so he and his team had to spend 3 straight weeks in line. I am not sure exactly how this works, how can one group can stand in a line and declare that this is the line for the hearing in a few weeks? What stopped my fellow line sitter from standing somewhere else and declaring that the line? He spoke of this line with the same pride that someone has when they talk about marathons they have completed. He also got a lot of overtime for those weeks, which he was also happy about.

I did notice that the woman who was setting up my hearing frequently asked the guy which line was for which hearing, and how many people were waiting. I guess the House staff relies on the line sitters to keep the order.

This brings me to my next observation. Line sitters are very nice to each other. Once you are in line, you have saved that spot. People are free to get up and go to the bathroom, or get breakfast, or sub people in, once the spot has been saved. They all seem to know each other, and are very talkative. I talked with another professional line sitter about Sodoku solving strategies, and another offered me some of her popcorn and told me that she was worried about the potatoes that she planted earlier this week.

As the morning went on suits filled out the line and replaced the line sitters, and "Who do you work for?" replaced opinions on the Wizards and recent movies. The Rayburn was restored to its staid conservative self. Frankly, I liked it better at 7:30 in the morning.

Say It Ain't So...

2007-02-27T13:16:00.000-05:00

So I was reading this article by Steve Albini when I stumbled across this sentence:

"Lyle Preslar, former guitarist for Minor Threat, is one of them."

The "them" in question are A&R men for major record labels. Can this be true? Can a former member of Minor Threat, and Dischord, really be out there lurking in the shadows of the bar, luring bands into the clutches of major record labels? They told me the devil would be attractive, but this attractive?

Vinyl...

2007-02-26T14:39:00.000-05:00

I was being serious when I said that mastering this album is all that I can thin of right now. I thought that I would pass along this interesting little nugget I found while reading this article. The quote comes from a section about mastering for vinyl.

"As the record gets closer to the end, the tone arm hits the groove at more of an angle (except with linear-tracking turntables), causing what's called inner groove distortion. As a result, song orders often used to be created with the softest songs coming at the end of an album's side, so that the inner grooves would be less subject to distortion."

Despite the fact that no one uses vinyl anymore except for punk bands and Djs, I still think that the general feel and pacing of rock albums is based on the album being presented on vinyl. For example, I think that the best albums come in at about 45 minutes or so. Also, I like albums that feel like they have two distinct sides. While I take it for granted that most albums end on a slow song, it is interesting to see an explanation for where this phenomena came from.

Album Minutiae, or Why I Can't Sleep At Night...

2007-02-26T12:33:00.000-05:00

The album for the RPM project is mostly done at this point. Everything is recorded and mixed which is great. The problem is that I have now reached the mastering stage. While I know how to play music, and have a fair knowledge on recording and mixing, mastering is a process about which I am mostly ignorant.

When my old band mastered our last cd, I realized that a lot of things go into making an album that I wasn't even aware of. Like, track sequencing for example. In all of my planning I never considered how much time to put between songs, and yet I found myself faced with that very question while paying $150 an hour for the privilege. It turns out that I like the Frank Zappa method whereby you extend the tempo of the previous song into the silence that precedes the next song and have the next song start on beat one after a certain number of measures. It can't explain it very well, but I think it is subtle and cool when pulled off correctly.

Mastering is also suppose to normalize volumes and eq to make the record sound cohesive. The goal is also to get the album as loud as commercial releases without sacrificing dynamics, whilst filling out the sound and clearing up the mix, blah blah blah. I know what is suppose to happen, but I just don't know how to do it.

The result is that I am spending my time reading up on limiters, compressors, multi-band eqs, and all sorts of things that I don't really care about. It is slowly driving me insane. The whole album is pretty much on constant repeat in my head and I just want to be done. So far we have put about 50 hours of work into this little project, and I have reached the point where I hate all of the music, the sight of my bedroom, and Aaron and Adam. But I always end every recording project exhausted and filled with hate for the whole process and result.

Here is a link to the myspace site that Adam set up for us. Feel free to wander over and give some of the songs a listen. Also, feel free to let me know what you think. It is unlikely that you can hate any of the songs more than me at this point, so any criticism is welcome.

Ash Wednesday...

2007-02-21T14:42:00.000-05:00

I grew up in, and still attend, a lovely liberal Methodist church. The kind of church where people show up, participate in services and serve on committees and for the most part leave each other alone. This is a sensibility I also got from my family. We don't believe in "sharing" or "testifying" or talking about our faith. It is just not something my family, going back generations, does. We feel that our religion is no one else's business, and conversely that other people should keep their religion to themselves.

I think that is why I find Ash Wednesday so distasteful. People with ash crosses on their head strikes me as gauche and self-important. It just screams, "Look how religious I am," which again, I find distasteful.

I also happen to dislike Lent in general. I think that this question for Tom Sietsma's chat today illustrates why.

"Anonymous: Hi Tom! Can you please remind all the chefs out there reading that it's now Lent, and that they will therefore have big runs on the fish and meatless entrees on their menus on Fridays? It's never fun to go out at 7:30 on a Friday and have them already out of those!"

The thinking is that when you are not ordering the steak on Friday you are remembering the sacrifice that Jesus went through to save you from sin. When some one gives up Coke for Lent the hope is that they will similarly remember Jesus's sacrifice each time they go to the fridge, you know "Spiritually prepare for Easter."

Also, part of the reason why Lent is forty days, note that Sundays don't count in Lent thus we are 47 days from Easter, is because Jesus spent forty days in the Wilderness being tempted by Satan before beginning his ministry. So I guess the equation is roughly: not eating chocolate = Jesus in the desert.

Again, if find a little to much self-importance occurring during this religious season. It starts with crosses on foreheads and ends with fancy hats and sun dresses, and it is all showy. Again, it just rubs me the wrong way.

But what really gets me, and why I quoted the question above, is that the fasting and the cross only make sense if Lent is treated like a serious time of spiritual preparation for the holiest day in the Christian religion, if it were treated like Ramadan for example. It doesn't work if you want to make sure that Citronelle has something exquisite for you to eat when you go out on Friday night. I guess the hope is that one finds Jesus in their attempts to get around what are suppose to be his rules. I also don't mean to single that anonymous person out, I think that this line of thinking is widespread.

In the end, I am a person who has uttered the phrase "God damned church" more times than I can count, many occurring in the building itself. So I might not be the best person to opine on religious theory and sentiments, but if you left me alone I probably wouldn't have.

The Album...

2007-02-20T12:25:00.000-05:00

The album is mostly finished at this point. After recording all weekend I am in no position to judge it. My head is just kind of music mush right now, with choruses from one song mixing with guitar tracks from another. It looks like it will take about an hour of recording time for every minute of music on the album. And that is basically sprinting through these songs. Honestly, I can't even remember half of the music. Songs were being written while others were being recorded. The whole weekend is kind of a blur.

I will try to get some music up tomorrow, and the whole thing will be available to download once it is finished.

Daytrotter

2007-02-16T08:38:00.000-05:00

I added a link to Daytrotter in my sidebar. Mainly because they claim that they might give me a free t-shirt if they see it. But also because I think that it is a cool website. They have two touring bands a week come into their studio to record a few songs, which they then post for free on the site. They also have nice illustrations for all of their bands and articles. It is definitely worth a visit.

UPDATE: Let me also recommend Take Away Shows from Blogotheque. It is a similar kinda of idea. Except it is videos of bands in Paris. I am currently enjoying this performance of I'm From Barcelona's "We're From Barcelona."

A New Hope...

2007-02-15T08:22:00.000-05:00

As I wrote about a month ago, I am not very optimistic about the Redskins future. The one thing that gives me solace is that you won't see Jason Campbell end up on YouTube singing "Don't Stop Believing" with Mr. Belding and an 80's Hair Metal Cover Band.

Taken from Deadspin, which you really should be reading if you are not.

Lefou, I'm afraid I've been thinking...

2007-02-14T14:35:00.000-05:00

A couple of quick things.

First, I posted a link to a song that I have been working on and have apparently used up my download limit for the week. While I doubt that this is because thousands upon thousands of people are eagerly awaiting my next project, it does look like I might need a better way to host these things in the future. Does anyone know of a better way to post mp3s on blogs? The only caveat is that it has to be free.

Also, I would like to thank whoever is responsible for the mystery valentines that are going around for including me. I have to agree with the Pygs, I have not been a good enough blogger to deserve it. So I thank you, unless you are planning to kill us all. I have been picturing a scenario where you kill each of us using a method from the Disney movies. For example, the valentine I received features Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I kinda believe that you are going to kill me by throwing me off of a castle. Frankly, there are worse ways to go.

Hearing those words makes me weak....

2007-02-14T12:15:00.000-05:00

There seems to be a lot of talk about what is wrong with the music industry. Sales are down, bands are being dumped, and things just generally look gray. Some point to downloading, others to DRM. Well I am here to tell definitively what is wrong with the music industry, and why it can never recover.

Our story starts with the fact that the wretched song "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder was recorded and released. Note, I refuse to link to either the song or the artist. The song manages to combine the worst of Grunge, Power Ballads, and Hair Metal into an unholy Chimera of vomit inducing schlock. At least the band has brought back the sexism of the late 80s.

In the next chapter, "Lips of an Angel" goes on to become one of the best selling singles of the year, and the album "Extreme Behavior" is the 10th best selling album of 2006 with an astonishing 1.82 million albums sold. Given the state of the music industry, it is only reasonable to expect more of this crap to be released in the next year, further alienating individuals whose ears actually work from major labels and radio stations. This will send the industry into a death spin from which it can never recover. Truth be told, I was hoping that James Blunt would win a lot of Grammys to help speed up this process, but alas.

And finally, in the epilogue, Jack Ingram has now foisted "Lips of an Angel" upon country audiences everywhere. What is truly remarkable is that Mr. Ingram's version of the song manages to be worse. Who would have thought? Now it has become obvious that the recording industry has no new ideas and is creatively bankrupt. Some evil executive could have slipped Hinder through with some clever subterfuge, but the rerecording of the song illustrates the industry's acceptance and celebration of it.

In other news KEXP managed to play both My Bloody Valentine and Love is All in the same set while I was writing this, so maybe there is hope after all.

Conversation...

2007-02-13T11:14:00.000-05:00

As I said yesterday, I am working on an album for the RPM Challenge. I thought I would post a version of a song that we are working on. The song has a working title of Conversation. It is more of an intro to the album than a full song.

A couple of quick notes:

The song is not mixed at all. It has some light reverb and compression on it, but that is it.
The song is not edited at all. That is why you hear amp noise and Aaron talking.
There are still more parts that are going to be added, namely drums.

Other than that, I just figured I would give you all an idea of what I am working on. Feel free to leave any suggestions that you may have. Also, I don't know why the play button is so obscenely large.

And I'm Back...

2007-02-12T12:36:00.000-05:00

So where have I been? Well, I am recording an album for this thing, and working on finishing another one that I have been planning for a year or so.

Also, I have been exceedingly sick for the past week. The problem is that I was so sick that I became gun shy; anytime I started to not feel normal I took it as a sign to get back home and lay on the sofa. For example, while I was out with Catherine on Saturday, I started to feel tired and slightly out of it, so I went home. I have a feeling that had I not been recently sick I would have just downed a Redbull and moved on, but the fear of reawakening the sick gods was overpowering.

Also, a lot of my free internet time has gone to playing this.

Finally, I just really have not felt like writing anything.

So as I ease back in, let me point you to this highlight from a recent Marc Fisher post. Apparently, Virginia legislators shelved this bill that would have made open containers of alcohol illegal in a car. Little did I know that passengers can legally drink in car, it just seems so illegal that I never questioned it. Personally, I love that the legislators shelved this law mainly because the proposed penalty was a $25 fine. I guess the wise people in the Virginia house feel that the punishment is too great. I don't know, if I were stuck in traffic near Reston I would willingly pay $25 just to drink my way through it. Just think of it as a cover charge.

I had a similar experience when I was taking the written exam for my drivers license. I got the following question wrong:

Who is required by law to wear a seat belt in the state of Virginia?

a) No one
b) The front seat passengers only
c) All passengers

I foolishly answered c when b was correct. You got to hand it to Virginia for disabusing me of any notions of required increased safety right when I was learning how to drive.

The Grammys...

2007-02-12T09:42:00.000-05:00

I was going to make my triumphant return to blogging with a brilliant take-down of the Grammys, but I can't top David Marchese from Salon:

"It makes sense that the Grammy's -- so soulless and bland -- are headed by a man who saw Elvis on tv and thought: "I want to be a record executive."

I love you so much it hurts me...

2007-01-05T14:26:00.000-05:00

This is one of the hardest things that I have ever written. It has taken a lot of introspection, but I realized that I must admit the truth. The Redskins are no longer the great, proud franchise that I grew up with. This isn't because they finished at a vomit inducing 5-11 in a year when competence would have made playoffs, but because the team appears to be so horribly run that one has little hope of improvement.

I am basing this conclusion mostly on two articles. The first is by Tom Friend and tries to explain why the defense went from being great to the becoming the goat in Sports Center highlights. The second is by Jason LaCanfora, and explains the organizational problems with the Redskins. I won't summarize both, but they are good reads assuming there are not any hand guns nearby.

The problem is that Snyder, Cerrato, and Gibbs have tried to win through free agency and over spending for players. This hasn't worked, and what is worse they have traded almost all of their draft picks and alienated the players. On top of this, the group refuses to accept that they have been running the team poorly and exhibit no serious effort to change. Everyone seems to think that they need a competent general manager, and just as many people believe that they are not going to get one.

It is almost as if Dan Synder was watching Peter Angelos and thinking, "Wow, destroying a once great team looks like a lot of fun." Orioles fans at least have hope because attendance is down and at some point Angelos will sell the team. The deal with MLB regarding the Nationals and the league making up the difference between the sale price and the set value in the negotiation will assure that. Snyder has actually topped Angelos because he has:

Run a proud franchise poorly,
Abused the fans with ticket prices, parking prices, and inconvenient stadium,
Consistently fielded a disappointing team with no hope of improvement,
Made a lot of money!

On top of that, he just might manage to ruin the reputation of a Hall of Fame coach.

I still love the Redskins, and will still get upset at every loss, but this season has taken something out of me. Maybe expectations were too high, but the Giants are the only NFC East team to finish the season with the quarterback they started with, and Eli Manning is the worst of the bunch, so I don't think pre-season predictions were too out of line.

Fortunately we have Agent Zero. Seriously, the Wizards are really exciting this year, and Gilbert is a legitimate superstar. I can't tell you how much I wish I had an Arenas Express card. Also, the Caps are suppose to be exciting this year, and trending upwards. They might not win a whole lot, but they are young, fast, and apparently they like to fight. The Nationals might lose just about every game next year, but at least it looks like they know how to run a baseball team so we can dream about the future.

The Redskins are not the only game in town anymore. While it hasn't happened yet, if the team continues it's current performance, Danny is going to feel it in his wallet. Fortunately, that might be the only thing that he will listen to, and might be the only hope that we have.

I am just a friend, that's all I've ever been...

2006-12-21T12:50:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Ryan, I caught this horrible meme thing that has been going around. It is only fair, I got him a few months ago.

The idea is to write 5 things most people don't know about you. This is hard, because I am fairly private and I feel like I have kept a good lock and key on most of the things I don't want people to know about me; my desire and plans to kill Tommy come to mind. The problem with this list is that it tends towards the shameful or the crazy. This is mainly a function of the fact that no one would hide their best attributes. Like, I secretly give lots of money to charity and I love puppies and sunshine.

1) I don't have a very good ear. You would think that becase I am a musician I would have a good ear, with the ability to pick out lots of intervals and chords easily and the like, but in truth I don't. This is something that I have worked hard on, and gotten a lot better at, but it still doesn't come very easy. Playing the piano has helped a lot. Almost everything that I write comes from a lot of experimentation and study.

2) I instinctively divide numbers that I see into their prime multiples. For example, right now it is 1:11, which I turn into 111 and divide into 3 x 37. Now it is 1:12 which I have turned into 7 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2. This is also how I remember things like license plates and telephone numbers. As a side note, I really like multiples of 7.

3) I use to be mean. I was a horrible child. Along the lines of the DCeiver, I will explain with a story that makes me ashamed to this day. There was a kid in the 7th grade who wore a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt to school one day, and because 7th graders are obnoxious and want to think that they are becoming adults, he was mad fun of. A few days later, I found a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doll and decided to write his name on it and hide it in our science class. A few days later, the teacher found it and asked it if it was his in front of the whole class. This of course only brought out more laughter at the expense of this poor kid. He is just one of many people from my childhood that probably has my name, deservedly, at the top of a hit list. My big problem is that one of them actually went and joined the Army...I am so screwed.

4) My sister is the only person who can really make me mad. While I do get upset with people from time to time, my sister is the only person who can anger me to the point of tears. I am not quite sure how she does it, but wow.

5) I have a weird vague feeling that I am going to die in a car crash. I just don't know where this feeling came from. Interestingly enough, I hate flying and prefer driving most places.

So that is it. I refuse to subject anyone to this horrible thing, also every one I know has already gotten it.

The Death of a Dream...

2006-12-05T12:27:00.000-05:00

This post at DCist reminded me of the time that I had my guitars stolen in New York City.

It all started, like so many bad things, in New Jersey. While my band was touring we played a concert on the Jersey Shore. Unfortunately we couldn't find the right mix of a hotel that:

we could afford
wasn't all booked up
and up to health code.

So we decided to drive up to New York City, where we were playing the next night, and stay with my Bassist's brother in Chelsea.

We got up to New York, parked my 15 passenger Ford Econoline van and settled in for the night. The next night we pulled up in front of the club and went to unload our equipment only to find that all of the guitars and basses were gone. My first instinct was that we had left them in Jersey. Then my Bassist pointed out that the lock on the back door had been broken, and that our instruments had been stolen.

One of the things that was shocking about this theft was that our equipment was guarded by Animal. I figured that he would repel any would be assailants, but no; although none of the drums were taken. I took this as confirmation that drums are big and heavy and a pain in the ass to move.

So, we called the police and filled out the appropriate paperwork, mostly for insurance reasons. The cop told us to call up the local pawn shops, but that there was little chance of us getting our instruments back. He also suggested that we drive out to some park where drug users hang out, but was nice enough to add that we should call the police if we see our gear and not try to get it back on our own.

One of the bands was nice enough to lend up their instruments and we played the concert, although I was so angry that I don't remember any of it. After we finished up, we tried to decide what to do next. Two of my band members, who were being jerks, wanted to stay in New York and meet up with friends. These two also believed that we couldn't leave our equipment in the van with a broken lock. My Singer's parents were in town and he suggested that we store our remaining equipment at their hotel. What he didn't mention was that their hotel was right off Times Square. So the singer and myself drive to Times Square in my huge 15 passenger van at about midnight on a Friday night. It took us about 30 minutes to go two blocks, and there was no place to park, or just stop to that would allow us to unload our equipment.

At about 1:30 and I declare that I want nothing more than to get the hell out of New York City. So we meet up with the rest of the band and decide to drive to my Bassist's parent's house in Connecticut. Most of my friends have never seen me really angry, but when it happens I stop talking completely, lock my jaw, and just get an intense stare on my face. I also lose the ability to put up with anything. While we were leaving the city, I went through a police checkpoint. The officer had me roll down my window, and the first thing he said was "Are you Okay?" I grunted that I was fine. He took another look at me, and just waved me through. Clearly, an extremely angry person driving a huge van with out of state plates is nothing to be concerned with.

As we are leaving the van is completely silent, no one is talking and the radio is off. I haven't said a word in about an hour. At some point, a driver cut me off and I became the Mount Vesuvius of obscenity. My Drummer later told me that he was terrified to be in the van with me.

We got to Connecticut at around 3:00 or so, had a few drinks, and went to bed. The next day we borrowed more equipment for a horrible concert at a prep-school in Massachusetts. It turned out that the organizers having not planned where to put us, or how to amplify the concert so that people could hear us, or any of the other mundane things that go into a concert actually happening. So we had to scramble around to find a venue and figure out how to work the sound system. Also, a student at the school like our band and wanted to open for us, which we thought was nice and agreed to. It turned out that most of the crowd showed up for the sole purpose of heckling this kid. We had to pull him off the stage after about 15 minutes because it was just to tough to take, and that last thing this kid needed was to wind up crying on stage. We then played another concert that I was too angry to remember. That night ended with me and my Bassist yelling at each other for two hours.

Image taken by Darren Higgins

I am recounting this whole long story because this weekend pretty much killed my band. Before this weekend, everything was going well. We were developing fans and having a great time playing. After this weekend, my Singer ended up having vocal chord surgery, we spent a lot of money making an album that almost no one bought, and played shitty concert after shitty concert. Before this weekend, be use to look at concerts as competitions. We wanted everyone in the venue to know that we were the best band that night. After that weekend we started to see only the bad things that were happening to us, and that just took its toll. Arrogance is a necessary component to musical success, and after this weekend we started to lose our arrogance.

About six months later we were mostly broke in Chicago and decided to take a break and regroup. Mostly we were just tired, and after 3+ years we could no longer picture our Rolling Stone cover. We played our last concert in Alexandria, which curiously enough was the only concert we ever played that got written up in the Washington Post.

I should say that his weekend is not the reason why I hate New York City, but it is a reason why "(I Don't Want to Go To) Chelsea" is one of my favorite songs.

Virtuosity...

2006-11-22T12:39:00.000-05:00

I was reading the comments to this post by Matt about covers and I had a few comments. First, a distaste for covers is mostly a rock music thing. The jazz greats all performed other people's songs, in fact rarely writing their own. Country music also has a clear line between songwriters in Nashville and singers. And classical musicians are almost always performing pieces written by someone else. It is really only a rock problem, and I think it stems from problems within the Rockist school of thought. The fact that rock music is the only discipline that has a problem with covering songs is particularly amusing given that just about all of the great rock stars started out playing covers. Check out the track listings on the first two Beatles albums for example. Both are about half covers.

But the real reason that I wanted to mention Yglesias's post is because someone brought up Rush in the comment sections, and nothing irritates me more than anything vaguely complementary about Rush. I really, really hate Rush. The problem with Rush is that anytime anyone praises them it always starts with the fact that they are very talented musicians. This is undeniably true, the guys can play. I remember looking at sheet music for "Limelight" and being impressed with the complexity. I remember thinking "This would take a while to learn." The problem with Rush is that my next thought was "Why would I was so much time to learn such a crappy irritating song?"

With Rush, the song takes a backseat to the virtuosity and that is why I really hate cannot stand the band. Just take a look at the picture of Neil Peart's drum set for example*. I am sorry, but no one needs that many drums. Each Rush song is an exercise in showing off how talented the musicians are rather than writing a good song. Also, Geddy Lee's voice makes me want to stab flaming q-tips in my ear.

The thing is that I love really talented musicians. Unlike some early punks, I think virtuosity is something that every musician should strive for, as long as the skill is secondary to the song. To show you what I mean I am including a YouTube video of Victor Wooten playing "Norwegian Wood" by the Beatles, a cover mind you. Victor just might be the most talented electric bass player of all time. I think of him as the Jimi Hendrix of the bass. Saw Victor play before I had ever even heard of him, and I spent the duration of the concert completely blown away. The man is jaw droppingly brilliant. But if you notice, his talent is there to serve the song, not outshine it.

If you need more proof, or just want to waste the day on YouTube, also check out his version of "Amazing Grace" here.

*For some reason the whole image is not showing up, but I think you get the idea from what is there. The man has drums completely surrounding him. The fact that he learned how to play drums behind him perfectly explains everything that is wrong with Rush.

Breakdown...

2006-11-22T11:25:00.000-05:00

I am not sure what happened, but it feels like working too damn much has finally caught up with me. When I was at the restaurant on Monday, I just hit a wall and I have been out of it since. Also, still no Wii and I am not very happy about that. But Thanksgiving is coming and I won't be working at the restaurant for at least a week so everything is fine. Also, The Hold Steady this weekend and I am looking forward to that.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, mainly because it involves sitting around drinking and seeing my family without the pressure of having to buy them anything.

The real reason for this post is that I wanted to pass along this video of Earl Scruggs and Friends performing "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" on the David Letterman Show. It is a pretty amazing collection of talent on that stage.

I hope you all have a good Thanksgiving.

A Suspicous Mind...

2006-11-20T15:26:00.000-05:00

I just became eligible for my company's 401k plan. Part of the paperwork involves designating a beneficiary for my meager savings. As I am unmarried, this creates something of a dilemma. An obvious choice right now is to name one of my parents as my beneficiary, but that only creates more problems. Which of my parents is less likely to kill me for the contents of my IRA plan? My father just got a new 50 inch HDTV, so I think he is probably the safer bet. I could name my sister, but then I would need to hire a food taster with every new fashion season. Tommy is clearly out, he probably already has a list of computer crap that he needs right now and also has the most opportunity. Hell, I am ready to designate the first person who can put a Nintendo Wii in my hands either tonight or tomorrow.

EVOOoooooh!

2006-11-17T14:45:00.000-05:00

I am a big food network fan. Not for recipes, but mainly for discussing the personal lives of the chefs on the network. Take Ina Garten for example; she is clearly trapped in a loveless marriage and is trying to use food to win her husband back.

I have developed pretty strong opinion on most of the hosts. Most of them center around (see Sandra Lee who drives me completely insane) hate. I also cannot stand Rachel Ray. I am convinced that she spends all of her time off camera crying. Something has to balance out all the happiness and perkiness, because no one is that happy. That is why it made me smile when I read this today. When Anthony Bourdain was asked about the pros and cons of the food network he cited Rachel's show as a con and added:

“What's it, $30 a Day?” Bourdain asked. When reminded that Ray's program is titled $40 a Day, the celebrity chef shot back:

“$40 a day? Try tipping, bitch.”

This is all to say that Anthony Bourdain is awesome. According to Wikipedia, playing Billy Joel in his kitchen was grounds for firing. His show "No Reservations" is pretty great as well, and he has done a lot of drugs! Also, Les Halles has the best french fries in the District.

Boxing

2006-11-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

I thought that I would pass this video along. It is a video of an exhibition fight that took place at my boxing gym a few weeks ago. The two guys having been training at the gym for a while, and the ref owns and runs the place. A quick note to my mother, I have not done this and you don't need to worry.

The Four Elephants...

2006-11-16T15:09:00.000-05:00

Because I regularly attend church and all of my friends are godless heathens who revel in sin and depravity, it is my job to sneak them into heaven. I like to them as my +s on the evite to Heaven, they won't know anyone there and don't belong but they will drink all of the booze anyway. Anyway, I don't know if you guys have looked outside recently, but it is kind of a theme party so you all better but your best "I love Jesus" outfits on.

Thanks to Tommy for the photo, and Kriston for being himself.

These Are Your Rights...

2006-11-15T12:48:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that I like Anthony Williams. Despite his various failings, he will leave the District better off than when he took over and I think that he should be applauded for that. That said, I also agree with Mark Plotkin. When asked in his chat yesterday what Mayor Williams's biggest failure was he answered:

"Never challenged our colonial status. We still don't have a vote in the House or Senate. All our laws can be overturned by Congress. We don't pick our own judges or prosecuting attorney. More than anything, the Mayor sitting in the box at the State of the Union year after year, he reminded me of a potted plant."

That is why it is nice to see Fenty write this in today's Post. Fenty also refuses to sit in the box at the State of the Union until the District gets voting rights. Sure that is mainly symbolic and will probably go unnoticed, but it is better than Williams ever did.

Also, I wanted to highlight this brilliant exchange from President Bush's November 8 press conference, the Post's Michael Fletcher is asking the questions:

Q Thank you, sir. There's a bill that could come before the lame-duck session of Congress, that would extend voting rights to the District of Columbia, in Congress, and also give an extra seat to Utah. You've been passionate about democracy in Iraq. Why not here in D.C., and would you support this bill?

THE PRESIDENT: I haven't -- it's the first I've heard of it. I didn't know that's going to come up from the lame duck.

Q -- Congressman Davis's bill.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, well, it may or may not come up. I'm trying to get the Indian deal done, the Vietnam deal done, and the budgets done. But I'll take a look at it. It's the first I've heard of it. Thanks.

Others have noted that Bush was lying about this answer and has heard of the bill before. Mark Plotkin claims that Bush has been briefed on the bill by Congressman Davis himself.

It is really shameful that residents of the District do not have representation in Congress. If you have a representative, please call them and urge them to support Congressman Davis's bill. You can go to DCVote for more information.

A Thought After Veterans Day...

2006-11-13T12:39:00.000-05:00

Don't you think that members of 'THE GREATEST GENERATION" should tip more than 10% or else be forced to lose their title?

Fight for Old D.C.!

2006-11-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

It is important to remember when watching the Redskins this year that the whole NFL is out to get us. Not just the teams, but the officials and the league office all the way up to Roger Goodell are trying to take the Redskins down. It is also important to remember that I am a sore loser.

One of my favorite theories was put forth on the radio by Sam Huff. The Arizona Cardinals were once members of the NFC East with the Redskins. Then in 2002 the league moved them to NFC West. As everyone knows, the Cardinals are not the best team in the league. One may think that the move had to do with "geography" when in reality is was an elaborate plot to take away 2 wins from the Redskins each year.

This year, the league got really sneaky and screwed the Redskins using the black art of scheduling. Jason La Canfora outlines the dastardly plot here, but the gist is that the Redskins are one of only 4 teams to play a team after its bye week 3 times. What is worse, the Redskins are callously forced to play all of these teams away, and two of those teams are division rivals! I ask you, what chance do the forces of good and truth have when faced with such unconscionable evil?

Also, and I might not be remembering this correctly, but I am pretty sure that Paul Tagliabue put a gun to Joe Gibbs head and made him sign and play Mark Brunell.

At least this keeps him off of the field...

2006-11-08T11:29:00.000-05:00

Like many, I am excited about the Democratic victory yesterday. But I must admit that my excitement is tempered by the fact that Heath Shuler is returning to Washington. While Ezra makes some good points, the young and Californian Mr. Klein completely overlooks the fact that Mr. Shuler went 4-15 in games that he played for the Redskins. Frankly, I think that we have already reached our limit of sub-standard quarterbacks in this city. Stop Shuler has a good rundown here, but my favorite quote is:

"After going back and forth with Gus Frerotte in 1994 & 1995, he lost the job permanently in 1996 season, and took only one snap that year. The result of that play? A fumble."

Keep in mind that Shuler lost his job to a guy that went on to knock himself out of a game by head butting a stadium wall*. The upside is that Shuler's victory game Keith Olberman the line of the night.

Chris Matthews: ...and in North Carolina, challenger Heath Schuler completes his upset of incumbent Charles Taylor.

Keith Olberman: At least he completed something.

*It is a crime that Frerotte's head butt is not on YouTube. I am far enough removed from the event to be able to laugh about it now.

Do They Know It's Halloween?

2006-10-27T12:30:00.000-04:00

While I don't like dressing up, I have decided to be a waiter this Halloween. To show my commitment to the costume I am going to spend the whole weekend in a restaurant! Beat that. I am certain that some people will have Zombie related costumes, but are you going to start eating brains? I bet not. I imagine that by Halloween proper I will have altered my costume into a tired waiter who should have paid more attention in college. In slightly related news, I hate the Marine Corps Marathon.

The video is for Tommy.

Friday...

2006-10-20T10:17:00.000-04:00

The internets are going nuts this morning. Ryan and Lisa are coming back and Spencer is leaving TNR. I don't know what happened with Ryan and Lisa, but I suspect that Spencer was seduced by the useless layabout lifestyle of his roommates.

I was wiping down a table at the restaurant the other night, and managed to find a way to have the tine of a fork jut into the part of my finger between the tip of my finger and my fingernail. I was both amazed by the fact that this was possible, and by how much it hurt. I currently have a little red line the width of the tine of a fork running about halfway up my fingernail. I can't decide if I should be worried about losing the nail.

I think that I am ready to sell all of my possessions and follow whoever created this. Things are slow around the office, so I just might spend the rest of the day playing it.

This post's YouTube video is Psapp's "Tricycle" off of their newest album.

I like to think that I am doing my part to drive down productivity this dreary Friday.

Somewhere My Love Lies Sleeping (with a male chorus)

2006-10-19T12:27:00.000-04:00

I am not sure if it is because I am a musician, or because I am crazy, but I constantly have music running through my head. The problem is that sometimes I start singing, and I am not really aware of it. For example, a few days ago I found myself walking around the office quietly singing:

"We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does"

I am not sure how this entered my mind, but I am pretty sure that it isn't normal.

And because all of my posts now are just excuses to search YouTube, and am including a scene from the Marx Brothers' movie "Animal Crackers." I am including this because:

I love the Marx Brothers, and I feel that they are a big reason why I am so crazy. I watched a lot of Marx Brothers movies when I was 10. This love, and craziness, runs in the family by the way. I am pretty sure, although it hasn't been confirmed, that one of my cousins is named after Groucho's "Lydia the Tattooed Lady."
I won't consider myself a proper pianist until I can play like Chico does in this clip. You really have to wait until the close up of his hands. It is pretty impressive.
It's my blog and I will do what I want.

So enjoy.

Music Miscellany

2006-10-19T08:21:00.000-04:00

I think that 2006 has been a pretty good year musically. There hasn't been much that has really blown me away, except for The Hold Steady, but there have been a lot of really strong albums released this year. Psapp, Howe Gelb, and I'm From Barcelona are just a few examples. Another really good album is El Perro del Mar's release. I saw the video to "God Knows (You Gotta Give to Get)" on Pitchfork today, and I love posting YouTube videos, so I thought I would pass it along.

In other news, I just realized that Love is All, one of my favorite releases of either late last year or early this year depending on which country you are it, is playing the Black Cat on Wednesday. Does anyone want to go? Except for Catherine, she is busy.

My Plan for World Peace

2006-10-11T12:37:00.000-04:00

My father's company, and another group, are hosting a conference this week, and last night they had a reception at the Air and Space Museum. They "rented" the whole museum, and it was pretty amazing. There was an open bar and good food, including a mashed potato bar with 4 different types of mashed potatoes and plenty of toppings that you ate out of a martini glass.

In addition to having the ability to drink your way through the exhibits, they also had the flight simulators open. I hadn't been to the museum in years, and I didn't know that they had flight simulators, but they were pretty impressive. You get into a cockpit, and the machine lifts up and executes barrel rolls and flips and the like. You have the option of controlling the flight yourself, or going running a simulation. After a few cocktails, I decided for the simulation, lest I end up drunk, upside down and unable to right myself.

As if drinking and flight simulators were not enough, the museum also had an IMAX showing of "Magnificent Desolation: Walking on the Moon," which is in 3D! This was the first movie that I have seen in 3D, and it was spectacular. At times the surface of the moon extended right up to your face and moon dust would be flying right at you. It was really, really amazing.

This all brings me to my plan for world peace. The conference has attendees from 80 different nations. People from all over the world, were gathered in the Air and Space Museum and having a great time. I realized that the problem with the United Nations is that they never have any fun.

You may be thinking, "The U.N. has serious business and no time for fun." But they problem with not having fun is that you can't threaten to take away fun. People argue that sanctions for example only hurt the poor in the country they are imposed on, and not the people making the decisions. Well, what if there was a rule that if you invaded another country you lost all of you open bar privileges? Or take North Korea, their delegation can't go to the IMAX movie. Sorry, but that's the rule. Imagine the jealousy when they hear the South Korean ambassador talking about how the flying dust looked so real that he ducked. That will teach them to test nuclear weapons.

I am convinced that under this plan we will have peace across the world in 3 weeks.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

2006-10-10T12:42:00.000-04:00

The Hold Steady.

These guys are so good that I feel a little guilty that I haven't given them any money.

Education...

2006-10-04T12:50:00.000-04:00

The Wire has me thinking a lot about education these days, particularly the ways to fix our schools. The post had a good article on the problem this weekend. Personally, I think the problem is that we don't make learning exciting enough. In that vein, let me suggest that this is a step in the right direction:

You can also go here and see how exciting educational films can be.

Wire Prediction

2006-10-03T15:14:00.000-04:00

In a prediction that is so obvious that I am surprised that no one has made it, I am going to predict that Randy ends up working with Bubbles by the end of the season and is shooting heroin by the end of season 5.

I think that one of the things that the David Simon wants to show this season is how the characters we know ended up where they are. In this vein it is clear that Randy is a young Bubbles. They both are entrepreneurs, Bubbles selling to people on the street, and Randy to his classmates and people on the street. Episode 4 also featured Randy snitching on a classmate, a skill that Bubbles has often used. We know that Bubbles isn't to happy with the kid, whose name I have forgotten, he currently has working for him, and Randy would be a superior partner. Bubbles is also around the school more, trying to get his partner to learn the skills that Randy already has. I expect that Bubble will run into Randy selling out of his bag and recruit him. I think that Randy will be hesitant at first, but then run away from his strict foster mother.

If this were any other show, I would predict that being around Randy would force Bubbles into a come to Jesus moment where he cleans up for good. This is The Wire though, and that is why I see Randy turning into an addict instead.

You've Gotta Nerve...

2006-09-29T13:39:00.000-04:00

An update on the protests. They now have a large, about 12 foot tall, inflatable rat in front of our building. I am not sure who the rat is exactly, but I like it. At one point, someone was pulling on the rat's ropes to make it lurch back and forth menacingly.

It's Going Around...

2006-09-28T15:35:00.000-04:00

I caught the Book Meme from Sommer. So here we go.

1) One book that changed your life?

~~The Bible, if it weren't for that damned book I would have more Sundays free.~~ I can't remember the name of the collection, but I a collection of T.S. Eliot's poetry was pretty influential. I had a great English teacher in college who opened my eyes to poetry through The Waste Land. I probably reread The Waste Land and The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock at least once a month, and frequently have passages floating through my head. The line "measured out my life in coffee spoons" comes to mind frequently. Here is a link to T.S. Eliot reading The Waste Land. It is pretty fantastic.

2) One book that you have read more than once?

Like most people who do this I have read many books numerous times, which allows me to cherry pick something in order to look good. So how about, Anna Karenina by Tolstoy? It really is just a wonderful book. I went through a phase were I only read Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky, listened to Tom Waits, and drank a lot of whiskey. In many ways, it is a wonder that I am still alive.

3) One book that you would want on a desert island?

No one likes this question. I have a large book that features the complete works of Shakespeare, including the sonnets. The problem is that I am going to have to plan on being trapped on this island, because the thing is to damn big to actually take. But, it has a lot to read, and material that benefits from frequent readings. Also, when I started going crazy I could act out the plays with whatever people I had created in my head ala Gollum.

4) One book that made you cry?

Recently, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn made me cry when Johnny died. I know that he was a drunk and worthless, but it still got to me.

5) One book that made you laugh?

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris had me in tears. I remember reading it on a plane to Nebraska when my Grandmother died, and laughing so loud that I had to be disturbing my fellow passengers. The section where envisions inanimate objects getting married in order to remember the genders of their french names is particularly great.

6) One book that you wish had been written?

I wish the rest of Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky had been written. It was suppose to be a five part book about the German occupation of France in WWII, but Ms. Nemirovsky only finished two parts before being arrested by the Nazis and executed at Auschwitz. I just finished the two parts and they really are wonderful.

7) One book that you wish had never been written?

An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith. Not only because I hate economics, but because it is a horrible read. Just look at the title. If the title of a book is that tedious, just imagine what the rest of it is like. Seriously, I don't know how people can be forced to read this before Bush's horrible law goes into effect. Also, the whole part about one savage hunting beavers and another hunting deer and them trading might be the stupidest construction in any respected book. In fact, I kinda hate all of the social contract theorists mainly because their books suck.

8) One book that you are currently reading?

I just started Saturday by Ian McEwan. I really enjoyed Atonement, but this one hasn't grabbed me yet. It is still early in the book, so we will see.

9) One book that you have been meaning to read?

Ulysses is really the only book that comes to mind. I start it at least once a year. I get about 150 pages in and realize that it has taken me like 2 months to read those pages. I then weep for the books that I haven't read in that time and abandon the project. In fact, I just added read Ulysses to my online To Do list. But don't get too excited, this list also features such items as, "catch a foul ball" and "break 200 in a game of bowling," so there is no rush on any of these.

10) Pass it on

I think most of all of my friends have already gotten this, so I don't know where to send it. How about Ryan?

We'll March Day and Night...

2006-09-28T13:22:00.000-04:00

For about two weeks now, my building has been protested. I am not entirely sure what they are protesting, mainly because they always protest while I answer the telephones, so all I hear is shouting and general noise. I think it has something to do with the building company using non-union workers, or something. Mostly they just yell for about an hour and a half, and boo anyone who enters the building.

Today, for about the last 15 minutes, one of the protesters has been using a horn think that sounds like a kazoo. This seems like cheating to me. Have the courage of your convictions and irritate me without mechanical assistance. I feel like this is an unfortunate aftermath of the baseball steroids scandals, everyone is looking for the easy way. Sad. Also, we suspect that they are employing homeless people to bulk up their numbers.

I'm a Wuss...So Let's Box!

2006-09-27T10:57:00.000-04:00

I had a blood test taken a month or so ago, and apparently I have high cholesterol. If my parents' "spend our last dollar on our deathbed" plan works, then this and my name stand to be the only things that I inherit from my father.

Given my various other vices, it would be right to wonder why I am so concerned about this. The problem is that because I have high cholesterol I have to get my blood tested again in 3 months. It turns out that I am really bad at having blood taken. Really bad. I was fine with the needle, but when I looked over and saw the little vial filling with my blood I just about lost it. I got sweaty, lightheaded, and a little nauseous. While sitting in that padded chair with the bar across you, I kept looking for the phone to the Governor's office. As soon as the whole order deal was over, I immediately tried to get up and far away from the "chair of death." The nurse kept me seated for a few minutes because she, justifiably, thought that I was going to pass out. After it was all over, I placated myself by thinking that I wouldn't have to go through that for another year.

Instead, I have to go back in 3 months, and if I still have high cholesterol presumably I have to go back again creating an unending circle of torture. I was discussing this with my father, and he told me that he gets his blood taken so often that it doesn't even bother him anymore. This is not a prospect that am looking forward to.

So in an effort to lower my cholesterol I have joined a boxing gym. I have been to two classes so far, and I have to say that it is a lot of fun. Mostly, I work on my jab and footwork. The guy who runs it seems mostly concerned with me not getting hit, and that is something that I can appreciate.

Yes, I would like some cheese with this.

2006-09-22T13:23:00.000-04:00

I have realized that I don't see my friends all that much. The fact that I have two jobs plays a large part in my absence, but last night I realized another reason. All of my friends are working in the industries that they want to. They might not be in the exact job that they want, but they are at least in the right field.

I became aware of the problem last night when my friends went out to happy hours, and I went home to practice the piano. Because I don't work in a field that I have even a slight interest in, I have to work on what I want to when I have free time. Unfortunately, free time also happens to coincide with drinking time.

This might not be a problem, except that I happen to like my friends. Well, a few of them at least.

Victory!

2006-09-13T08:28:00.000-04:00

It looks like HBO has wised up and started listening to me. Catherine has alerted me that HBO will be renewing "The Wire" for a fifth season. So you really should start watching it, if only because you can look forward to another year of my talking about it all the time. And, if my opinion isn't enough for you, take a look at metacritic's page for season 4.

Seriously, The Bathroom?

2006-09-11T08:23:00.000-04:00

I had, quite possibly, the worst table that my restaurant has served on Saturday. It is really the first time that I have questioned the sanity of people that I have served.

My restaurant hosts a universities local alumni chapter during football season to watch their team. It is quite a spectacle to watch. We have about 100-50 people all dressed in the same colors, and they shout, and sing, and chant as if they were really at the football game. As you can imagine they create quite a mess.

So the game is over and the alumni are filing out. Everyone on the staff is working to reclaim the restaurant as quickly as possible. It is during this chaos of pom-pom streamers, empty can of Natural Light, and cleaning spray that 6 people walk into the restaurant and ask for a table for 8. I tell them that we just finished a football game, and it will take a few minutes for me to clear off and set a table.

I then go inform my manager that 8 people will be here for dinner. Now, I am suppose to leave after the football game. She asks me to get the table started and then she will take it over. I clear off and set the table and seat the party. Then, I ask for their drink orders. Two of the men ask what bourbons we have. We carry a lot of bourbons in our restaurants, most of which I rarely serve, so I ask them for a minute and go check to see what is behind the bar. I return, list of bourbons in hand, and ask again for their drink orders. One of the guys is disappointed that we don't carry Wild Turkey 101, apparently regular old 80 proof Wild Turkey doesn't pack quite the same punch. The other bourbon drinker convinces Mr. Wild Turkey to order a different high end bourbon, which they both get with Coke. I emphasize this because good bourbon really isn't meant to be drunk with Coke, and while I don't care how people get drunk, the addition of Coke surprises me a little. I just didn't expect people who get so demanding on their bourbon of choice to then mix it with Coke.

After cajoling drink orders out of the rest of the table, I put their orders in, and check to see how the rest of the cleaning process is going. I pick up their orders and return to their table. They then order their dinners, two people get the surf and turf and Mr. Wild Turkey gets the prime rib.

After I put in their dinner orders, I see that more people are at the front waiting to be seated. Usually, our dinner shift after a football game is pretty light. Particularly when the game goes until 7:30 or so, because the restaurant is filled during the prime dining time and people go elsewhere. This is why my manager felt that she could handle the dinner shift and send me home after the football game. The problem is that people are streaming in to watch the Texas game, creating another rush too big for my manager to handle by herself. I tell her that I will stay and start picking up new tables.

I go back to the kitchen and they tell me that we are out of prime rib. So I go back to my table and tell them that we are out of prime rib and ask if they would like anything else, note prime rib is also part of the surf and turf. The surf and turf people are upset but quickly agree to substitute the New York Strip. Mr. Wild Turkey is very upset and asks if we have rib eye. I say that the New York Strip is the only cut of steak that we have. He remains upset, but agrees to the New York Strip. I go tell the kitchen about the substitutions and tend to my other tables.

After a while I return to the table to check on their drinks. The bourbon drinkers would like another round. While I am there, Mr. Wild Turkey is still upset about the lack of prime rib and begins to tell me that New York Strip is no substitution for prime rib. Mind you, he isn't being charged for the prime rib, but I apologize and go get their drinks.

I return and tell them that we are now out of the bourbon they selected and ask if they would a different bourbon. This sends Mr. Wild Turkey into a tizzy. And after apologizing again, I get them their drinks with the new bourbon.

Now at this point I can understand their frustration. They have asked for a few things that we have run out of. This happens in restaurants, and they aren't being charged for anything they are not getting, but I can see why they are upset.

Eventually their food comes up and I serve them and refresh their drinks. When I return five minutes later to ask how the food is, they say fine but are still clearly upset. The restaurant is pretty busy now, and we are short staffed, so I don't have a lot of time to worry about them.

As I am tending to my other tables, one of the guys signals that he would like another bourbon. I get his drink and tell them that this is the last of this bottle of bourbon. Now, in defense of my restaurant. They were drinking high end bourbons that we don't sell a lot of, so my manager doesn't keep extra bottles of these around. This usually isn't a problem because we have other high end bourbons to select from. Of course, the table is appalled. As a waiter, you develop of sense of when you have lost a table and any chance I had for a good tip with this table is gone. I assumed this was the point at which I lost the table. I don't particularly blame them, sometimes things just happen and there is nothing you can do about it. Sometimes the dealer is showing 6 but has a 5 hidden underneath. You are just screwed.

They finish dinner, and I clear the plates and ask if they would like anything else. To my surprise they order more drinks and proceed to stay in the restaurant. They stay for a while and continue drinking, but a cold war has set in. They start talking down to me and clearly don't like me, and I am doing my best to hide that I don't like them.

At one point, Mr. Wild Turkey pulls me aside to tell me how disappointed he is. According to him, they dine out a lot in the neighborhood and they spend a lot of money, and I should have done more to make them happy, like give them discounts or something for free. This is when things start to make sense. The problem is that I didn't worship their credit cards enough. They buy expensive things and deserve preferential treatment as a result. Again, they have not been charged for anything that they didn't receive, but because they won the lottery by picking items the restaurant was out of, they deserve something for free. I officially hate the people. After Mr. Wild Turkey is done lecturing me I say apologize and walk away. If he expected something for free after his speech then he should have had a different waiter.

And yet they continue to stay.

After they have been in the restaurant for about 3 hours, and I have been working for about 9, they ask for their checks, separate checks. I give them their checks, and two of the people have decided that I didn't deserve any tip. Mr. Wild Turkey leaves me nothing on $48. Another guy leaves me nothing on $100, but manages to write "This is the worst restaurant ever."

And yet they continue to stay, watching me. We had balloons up for the football game, and one of the guys asks me if he can have some. I say fine, and he proceeds to grab two balloons, puts a hole in one them so that he can sound like a munchkin. The guy has to be at least 35. He tires of this, and just pops the second balloon. And still they remain.

After they have been paid for about 20 minutes, and I have picked up the checks and thus know that I haven't been tipped, Mr. Wild Turkey then asks me for another drink! Really, the guy after complaining about the restaurant, lecturing me, and giving me no tip, asks for another drink. I was flabbergasted. I answered that the restaurant was closing because the Texas game was over, and I walked away.

I then leave the restaurant and sit on the stair in the back. I am so angry that I am not sure that I can contain myself, and I just want for them to leave. All of my other tables are gone, so I sit out back for about 10 minutes. I walk back into the restaurant and they are still there. I couldn't believe it.

Eventually my manager goes over, when they are one of the last two tables in the restaurant, and tells them that we have closed. They finally get up and go. All in all, they probably stayed about 45 minutes to and hour after they had paid.

After I have finished cleaning and resetting the restaurant, I clock out and sit at the bar to enjoy a post-long ass-shift drink. While I am sitting, my manager says "Charles you have to see this." So I get up and walk into the men's bathroom to find that the soap dispenser has been ripped off of the wall, the cover of the smoke alarm has been removed, and an air-freshener has been torn off of the wall and destroyed. All petty vandalism, but the real imagination was when they took a vinyl poster off of the wall and stuffed it into the top of the toilette so that the water would continually run. That took creativity.

We are sure that it was my table that was responsible for the destruction. My manager and the bartender didn't have any problems, or weirdness, with any of their customers, and Mr. Wild Turkey's friends were my only problem. The vandalism has to have occurred late or else someone would have told us, and they were the second to last table to leave. I had been in there about 1:30 before the discovery and nothing was wrong.

It was when I discovered the vandalism that their actions after they paid made sense. They were waiting to see what I would do. Mr. Wild Turkey asked for another drink to see how I would respond. They waited to see if I would see the bathroom. I think they were trying to start a fight, like an actual fight!

When I discovered that vandalism, I was probably the maddest I have been in a while. My manager saw how mad I was and reassured me that I didn't do anything wrong. I was so mad that I couldn't talk. I was so mad that I couldn't get to sleep that night, and I didn't get home until 2 after working for about 10 hours. I still am pretty mad. My blood is boiling while I write this two days later.

As a waiter you take a fair amount of abuse from time to time. Not a lot, and I can mostly deal with it. But the owner of my restaurant works harder than any person should, and I won't stand for people disrespecting her. That is what put me over the edge.

So I guess they won. They got to me. Congratulations.

Sorry for the length of this post, but I have been thinking about this for two days. I just kinda needed to write this so I can be done with the whole thing. That is why I didn't edit or proof this post in any way.

New Design!

2006-09-08T14:53:00.000-04:00

Well I have upgraded to BloggerBeta, which is very exciting. I now can label my posts, and I have more control over the template. There are some more things I plan on changing, like figuring out how to get rid of that stupid navbar, but overall I am happy. Let me know if there are any problems with rss feeds, commenting, or anything.

UPDATE: I just learned that because BloggerBeta is Gmail related, comments a post are mailed to me as a single conversation. That is a feature I really like a lot.

On TV...

2006-09-06T13:04:00.000-04:00

In the interest of reminding all of you rss readers that I still exist, I thought I would post some thoughts on Television shows. Please note that this post reflects the new and improved Charles, no longer just a hate-filled bastard! I should say that I have more substantive posts coming soon, but I don't think I believe in substantive posts anymore. My goal is to entertain you for about 2 minutes. I am a humble man.

1) I can't wait for The Wire to start. It is pretty much all I think about at this point. In fact, I have decided on a new superficial way to judge people. I can't be your friend if you don't like The Wire. You don't have to think it is the greatest show of all time, just one of the greatest shows of all time. Don't get me wrong, not liking The Wire doesn't make you a bad person (I guess it is possible that you help starving children or curing diseases, or something), it just means that we can't get along in any meaningful way. Sorry.

2) I recently finished the first season of Battlestar Galactica, and that is also a great show. In fact, just playing the percentages here, you probably don't watch Battlestar Galactica, The Wire, and Veronica Mars, and shame on you for that. In fact I am instituting a new arbitrary rule, no one is allowed to complain about TV in any manner if they haven't seen The Wire, Battlestar Galactica, and Veronica Mars. I won't stand for it.

3) I also really like The Contender. I think it has to be the best reality show of all time. It has: people living in a group house and making alliances, family drama, people trying to turn their life around and taking one last shot at their dream, pretty much all of the typical reality show stuff. The difference is that people are eliminated after competing in 5 rounds of boxing. This it totally better than being kicked off a show because you burned a risotto, or because you failed a glorified ropes course. I have yet to see any complaining by an eliminated contestant yet.

4) Seated next to my family at my Father's birthday dinner on Friday was none other that Senator Fred Thompson from Law and Order. My mother is a huge Law and Order fan, and could barely contain herself. We convinced her to wait until he was leaving to get his autograph. When my mom saw that Senator Thompson was leaving, she went up to him and said, "Senator Thompson, can I get your autograph? I am a big fan." She then paused briefly and followed, "More of Law and Order, not of your politics." To which Senator Thompson replied, "I will take what I can get." He then sign the back of the restaurant's business card and left. It was pretty great. Also, if you are at the Colvin Run Tavern, get the carving cart.

Treadmills!

2006-09-01T10:13:00.000-04:00

I know everyone has seen this video, but that doesn't make any less great. Also, I want to test this whole YouTube embedding thing.

I Am a Big Ball of Rage

2006-08-25T11:33:00.000-04:00

Grrr....

"WASHINGTON, in many ways, is an unsurprising place to visit - an expanse of monuments, symbols and sites familiar to any American who watches the evening news (or, at least, "West Wing"). Which is not to say that Washington can't be, with a little effort, a city of surprises and unfamiliar delights. So, yes, any 36 hours in Washington should include trips to all those famous buildings and memorials, but it should also include excursions to places that perhaps if less famous, are all the more interesting." (emphasis mine)

This paragraph opens the New York Times recommendations of things to do while visiting the District. I wonder though, if New York is so great why would one bother leaving in the first place? And where would you go?

"Go to Penn Quarter, a vibrant Washington neighborhood, for Zaytinya (701 Ninth Street NW, 202-638-0800) a Mediterranean tapas restaurant, that serves fresh Middle Eastern plates in a bustling setting of candles and soaring ceilings. 'It feels like New York,' a friend said at dinner one recent night. Precisely." (again emphasis mine)

Well thank God that we have a place that is reminiscent of New York. I guess that is how the unfortunates stuck down here survive. I would write more, but, to quote Moe, "I am choking on my own rage here."

Linda Cropp Thinks That I Am Gay

2006-08-18T10:44:00.000-04:00

Tim, Emily and myself went to Dakota Cowgirl last night after too many $1.00 beers at Fast Eddies. For those who don't know, Dakota Cowgirl is a gay bar. What I mean is that there are gay men there and it is obviously gay friendly, but it isn't over the top gay so as to make a straight man uncomfortable. We went because I wanted to play Keno, Emily had never been, and Tim got dragged along.

So there we were critiquing the music videos on the flat screen TVs and losing in Keno, when a man comes up to our table and asks if we are registered DC voters and if we would like to meet Linda Cropp. We answer that yes we would love to meet the candidate. So Mrs. Cropp comes up, introduces herself, shakes our hands and asks for our support on September 12th. She then moves on and introduces herself to the other tables. She is in the bar for about 10 minutes before leaving to go to her next stop.

I think that this is all pretty great. Her supporters have rainbow stickers on that say Linda Cropp, but the best part was their campaign flyer. Here is the front:
Sorry for the poor scan, but you have to admit that it is fantastic. Although, I imagine that in Mrs. Cropp's conception the GLBT community is the vermouth, they add a lovely accent in small doses but ruin the Gin if they are around too much. I am not quite sure who the olive is.

But the back of the flyer is even better.
Last night I thought the line "Its time to put this Diva in charge!" was the best part, but sobriety has forced me to reconsider. I really like the idea of drinking "responsively" even if I don't know what it means.

So unless someone else makes a strong push, it looks like I have met the future mayor of the District of Columbia. I guess this means that I will have to pick a candidate based on their policies rather than a selfish desire to say that I have met the mayor. Crap.

UPDATE: It turns out that I wasn't the only one to witness this spectacle. I imagine that that dog wasn't too happy when they removed that sticker.

Corona in a Can?

2006-08-14T12:35:00.000-04:00

As I was leaving work on Saturday I got a call from Tommy asking me if it was okay if people came over to our apartment. I said that company was welcome, mainly because I didn't anticipate that there would be attempts to add extra carbonation to a can of beer. My boss was in the car, and wanted to know if I wanted some free beer for our impromptu party. I love free beer, so we went back to the restaurant and filled up. And while my boss is very nice and generous, it wasn't generosity that was guiding her, she just couldn't sell this beer. The beer in question was Corona in a can.

It appears that people just won't buy Corona out of a can. She tried offering all sorts of deals but just couldn't get rid of it. I guess that what people want out of Corona is the commercial. They want to be sitting on the beach with that clear glass bottle. The company sponsors Jimmy Buffett concerts for God's sake. It got me wondering, has anyone ever seen Corona on draft? Does such a thing exist? I am pretty sure that I have seen every other major beer company on draft, except for Corona.

The first of what is sure to be many Wire related posts...

2006-08-08T14:46:00.000-04:00

Has anyone read any of George Pelecanos's novels? And do they have any suggestions regarding which are better than others?

I ask because I have decided that George Pelecanos is awesome. Let me enumerate why:

He grew up in the District.
He writes books about DC that don't involve politicians.
He is a writer for The Wire.
In the Tour Music section of his website he admits to liking Q and not U, The Replacements, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding and Bruce Springsteen.

Really, the whole list could be that he writes for the Wire, the rest is just gravy. I ask for suggestions because it is time to stock up on more books, and I don't want to ruin my estimation of the man by reading a lesser work first.

In related news, I am overwhelmed with anticipation for the new season of The Wire. I have to agree with Yglesias and declare it to be the best show on television. If you haven't seen it, you are really missing out. I use to work as a criminal defense investigator, and I can say that the show is surprisingly accurate. Particularly regarding the street level aspect of the drug trade. Unless they have moved since I left the criminal world (a strong possibility), I can take people to places that look exactly like the courtyard D'Angelo worked in during the first season. As you can imagine, my mother was heartbroken when I left that job.

And finally, because I think spell checkers are hilarious, I just realized that Blogger's spell checker really wants to turn "Yglesias" into "eyeglasses."

More Music Mania

2006-08-07T14:06:00.000-04:00

Do we think that this is the ultimate Republican make-out music? Stolen from Bill Simmons, who you really should be reading if you are not already. I recommend his stories about Vegas trips in particular. Also, I use to wonder what people did at work before computers and the internet, now I wonder about life without YouTube. It is a frightening thought.

I need some advise from a Sociologist. I am wondering how 200 people can simultaneously forget about the song "Beth." This should really be studied. Do yourself a favor and check out the video I linked to. It is Kiss! With an orchestra!! And the orchestra is wearing Kiss makeup!!! And they are performing Beth!!!! You can leave your thank you notes in the comment section.

It's Official...

2006-08-05T12:56:00.000-04:00

I am old. When the music that I listened to in high school is being packaged together as "Buzz Ballads" and sold as exclusive offers on TV then it is time to pack it in and start worrying about school districts. While I don't particularly love any of the bands on the Cds, the principle still stands.

In other news, my mother is taking credit for this. My parents just got back from San Francisco where my dad's company has their summer meetings. Comcast had a reception at the meetings, and my mother apparently took a Comcast executive to task over the television situation. I know what my mom is like when she gets in those moods, so it is no surprise that the situation was resolved.

At Least Someone is Thinking About the Children

2006-08-04T11:35:00.000-04:00

It is no secret that I love baseball. Well, before the Nationals arrived I would try to make out to see the Prince William, then Potomac, Cannons a few times a season. The Cannons, now Nationals, are a single A baseball team. For those who don't know, Major League Baseball has an extensive farm system ranging from Rookie leagues to Triple A. Single A is essentially the lowest level of professional baseball one can play.

If you have never been to a minor league game, you really owe it to yourself, particularly a Single A game. One of the exciting things is that the players are good enough to be paid to play baseball while bad enough to still be in Single A. This means that on any given play you could see a thing of beauty, like a diving catch or a well turned double play, or overgrown Little leaguers throwing the ball over each others heads. You just don't know what will happen. Also, the crowds are usually small enough that a good heckler can really have an impact on the players.

The other great thing about Minor League baseball is that they have fantastic promotions. The Cannons use to have a deal where if you brought a Twizzlers wrapper you go two tickets for the price of one. They also do great things between innings, like tether 7 year olds together and tell them to run away from each other.

The Newark Bears have a great promotion going on. Tonight is "Britney Spears Baby Safety Night" at the ballpark. There are many reasons to go see a minor league game, but tonight you can experience them all for free and all you have to do is dress like a baby!

The reason for this promotion is:

"The Newark Bears know that the Pop Diva's public mishaps are far from intentional. It is her celebrity that has brought attention to the fact that not all new mothers in New Jersey are "not that innocent" when it comes to caring for their bouncing bundle of joy."

See, they are not just making fun of Britney, they have a message and social conscience. They will be educating new mothers. You could win a child car seat! I really hope the title of the pamphlet that they are handing out is "Don't Be A Britney."

Their commitment to baby safety is further evidenced by the 2,000 free NJ Lotto scratch off cards they are giving away, and the post-game firework show. 'Cause nothing says safety like gambling and explosions!

Monday Music Miscellany

2006-07-31T09:02:00.000-04:00

I saw the new Pussycat Dolls video on MTV this morning and noted that "Big Snoop Dogg" made a guest appearance on the track. I feel like their should be some Hip Hop authority that you have to apply to in order to get a name change. It would provide a central listing in order to know who is currently named what, and serve to avoid problems like the horrible Dr. Dre debacle of the late 80s and early 90s.

In other news, I have become fairly addicted to The Pipettes album. It sounds like what would happen if Phil Spector went crazy for the New Pornographers rather than shooting people. They also happen to have one of the best names around right now.

Also, in local music news, Chris Richards of Q and not U and Ris Paul Ric fame will be running the Post's weekly music chat on Wednesday.

And finally, the new Spin magazine recommends that you go see The Apes at the Warehouse Nextdoor tomorrow. It is a remarkably good suggestion from a remarkably bad magazine, so I suggest you take them up on it, but bring earplugs.

Awesome

2006-07-28T15:49:00.000-04:00

After my last post, I was looking through the Homestead's website and dreaming of being rich and decadent. Listed under their outdoor activities is, and I really have to quote it, is:

"Falconry (Seasonal)
Known as the "sport of kings," falconry is one of the oldest of the field sports with a history that stretches back nearly 4000 years. Learn about this unique form of hunting with trained birds of prey, including falcons, hawks and owls, at The Homestead's Mews. Beginner and intermediate lessons are available. At the conclusion of the lesson, the guest is given the opportunity to be photographed with the bird."

I think that it might be the greatest place on earth, although I think I now have to delete all of the Clash songs from my Ipod.

Where I Am Going?

2006-07-28T15:00:00.000-04:00

In the past few days I have had a few people at work ask me if I had any vacation plans. When I responded that I didn't, they all suggested that I take some time off. And while this may be a veiled suggestion that I look haggard and need to go to bed earlier, I think that it is a good idea. I guess it is possible that everyone I work with is just sick of me.

The problem is that I don't have any idea where to go. Thus I am engaging in my first bleg. I must say that I have avoided these for so long because I find the word "bleg" repugnant. So a couple of stipulations:

I am planning for either late September or early October.
I am thinking about taking a week off.
I won't fly. I hate flying. I can't believe people volunteer, much less pay, for the experience.
I like driving. A driving tour, say down to Nashville and Memphis is an idea I have thought about.

That is pretty much it. So let me know what you all think. Also, does anyone want to accompany me? I do have friends, right?

Also, as a confession that is sure to shock everyone, given my druthers I would hole up here and drink myself stupid for a week. You may think that the Homestead is a very waspy, and it is. You may also think that it looks like the locale for "Dirty Dancing," and it does. But it was here that I learned that the best way to get over a hangover, and a pretty healthy whiskey hangover at that, is to have an hour long full body massage and a good steam. In case you were curious, yes I do disgust myself sometimes.

I Got Teddy in the Fourth...

2006-07-26T14:43:00.000-04:00

One of the worst things about RFK prior to the grand re-opening was the Presidents race. The team had an animated video of Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Jefferson racing around a DC. The announcer claimed that each President represented a section, and if you clapped hard enough ~~tinkerbell would come back to life~~ the President for your section would win. I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but they only had about 4 different animations and your clapping did as much for the Presidents as Terrell Owens is going to do for the Cowboys this year.

Probably the greatest thing about RKF's re-opening is that the team now has four people wear 10 foot tall costumes of these Presidents and race from right field to about home plate. It is pretty great. If you go to a game, the race happens in the middle of the fourth inning.

The problem is that the race is still scripted, but I wonder who would win in a race between the Presidents on Mount Rushmore. I think all of the presidents have pretty good upsides, except for one. I think we can all agree that Jefferson would lose every time. I think Washington would be in the best shape, Lincoln has the most heart, and Teddy has that competitiveness that drives him to win at any cost. In fact, Teddy has already attempted to use a golf cart only to be disqualified. I just can't come up with any good reasons why Jefferson would win. In my mind I picture Jefferson as kind of a dandy.

The Art of Score

2006-07-25T13:08:00.000-04:00

I realized today that I have not yet extolled the glories of keeping score at a baseball game. It is really one of the best things in sports.

For those of you who don't know, scorekeeping is a way for baseball fans to keep track of what has happened in a baseball game using a series of symbols. Wikipedia has a pretty good explanation here, with pictures! Tommy has observed that keeping score jives well with my obsessive nature, and he right. But keeping score can be fun even if you don't feel the need to straighten up everywhere you go.

When you keep score you know what has happened in the game up to that point, but you are also able to pick up on game trends quicker. You can see that a certain player is pulling the ball, or that the pitcher is inducing a lot of ground ball outs. You might even notice that a certain All-Star is flying out a lot and decide to hold it against him for the rest of his career. When you keep score you get a sense of the story of the game.

Keeping score also helps pass the time a baseball game. I know that some people are prone to complain that baseball games are too long, and nothing happens. When you are keeping score you have plenty of things to keep track of: the last play, inning totals, substitutions, some people track every pitch. It can be overwhelming. I promise that the game will just fly by.

The most important about scorekeeping is that when you are doing it everyone in your section knows that you are better than them. They look over, see you with your book, and know that you are a bigger and better baseball fan than them. It is the sports equivalent of wearing the perfect ironic t-shirt at the Black Cat.

So let me encourage you to take up scorekeeping as a hobby. Here is a link to some free scorecards that you can print out on your company's dime. You will learn a lot about baseball, and before you know it you will be wasting time at work reading up on statistics rather than the dating lives of various Washingtonians!

I stole the picture from Tommy, here is the original.

Who is their PR guy?

2006-07-20T08:40:00.000-04:00

There is a church in Arlington that has one of those signs outside that is usually used to give the title of the upcoming sermon. Recently they have decided to take advantage of the recent weather.

A couple of weeks ago, during the deluge that had us all appreciating a good sturdy bucket, they had, and I am paraphrasing, "That Noah story seems more real, doesn't it?" I just couldn't figure out what the church was hoping to achieve with this statement. Are they hoping non-believers will think "well there was a flood in the Bible and now there is a flood in the 12th Street Tunnel, so the Bible must be true! I better get me some churchin'."

I think that the message is even worse to believers. I read it as: "Remember when God flooded the world to kill all of the sinners? Well, if you put a little more effort into those rice crispy treat men (poorly tied licorice bows) you made for the bake sale then maybe you would still have carpet in your basement."

This was all well and good, but when I drove by yesterday they had "Hell seems more real now, doesn't it?" This is absolutely the worst message for a church to send. Sure a Washington heat wave is uncomfortable, but not so bad that I am going to get up early on a Sunday.

I think the main problem is that they are reacting to the weather. They should be tailoring the sign future weather events. Like say, if the forecast calls for the sky to rain blood, that is the time to jump and try to get the butts in the pews.

Clarification

2006-07-18T08:51:00.000-04:00

I while ago I wondered if there was any truth to a rumor involving Eagles fans throwing a Redskins fan of the upper deck of Veterans Stadium. Well, thanks to Metroblogging DC I think I have found the truth. According to the New York Times, the heroic Redskins Fan only had parts of his costume thrown off of the stadium. The Eagles fans were nice enough to break that brave soul's legs in the parking lot, where presumably it would be easier to get to the hospital. So, in the interest of fairness let me apologize to Eagles fans everywhere. You are an inspiration to us all!

It has begun...

2006-07-17T15:13:00.000-04:00

I just learned that the copiers in my office order their own replacement supplies. Humanity is screwed.

It's All In The Family

2006-07-17T12:34:00.000-04:00

I spent this weekend in Central New York at a family reunion. It gave me a good chance to see family that I hadn't in a while, and visit the old alma mater. It is reassuring to know that my family remains as crazy as ever. And while I won't blather about most of what happened, it is probably standard family reunion craziness, I did learn some interesting things this weekend.

First, when my Great Great Great Grandfather was shopping for a cane he saw fit to purchase the model with a sword hidden in the handle. No one is really sure why he felt that he needed a sword on him at all time, or why the sword needed to be hidden. I choose to believe that he was a crime fighter of some kind, but maybe I am reading too many comic books. This cane was passed on to my father this weekend. Given the current "CRIME EMERGENCY" that we are experiencing in the city, I think it might be a good idea for me to start carrying it around. I would be unstoppable.

Second, my 6 year old cousin knows all of the words to "My Humps" and has even created a dance to accompany her acappela rendition. I guess the question is what would you choose between Barney and The Black Eyed Peas?

Finally, I have joked (well half-joked) in the past about how my wife will not have a say when it comes to first name of our first son. He is going to be named Charles, and there isn't much that she can do about it. The first born male in my family has been named Charles for 5 generations. If she has a problem with this, then maybe we shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. I know this is sexist, and patriarchical, but she can pick the middle name. I think of it as equality, I pick one name and she picks the other, as long as it is not something stupid like James or Allen.

What is weird is that I spent this weekend with a lot of people who really believe in keeping this tradition alive. I mean aside from canes with swords, this is all we really have to pass on. We have factions in my family that haven't talked in over 20 years due to an incident with a cheeseball that went uneaten and, according to the aggrieved party, under-appreciated. If they can be this spiteful over a ball of cheese, literally by the way, I don't know what these people would do to me if I broke the naming tradition. Ordinarily I wouldn't be too concerned, but I also learned that I have a relative who lives in the Adirondack Mountains and makes a living as a trapper. So he has experience tracking and killing things, although on the plus side he claims to have a good recipe for beaver burgers.

I have known this for a while, but I learned this weekend that I am in fact the only Gr/ay male in my generation, including second cousins. So in addition to keeping the naming tradition alive, I actually have to keep the family alive. I actually heard the phrase "it is up to Charles." I already suck enough at meeting people. I really don't need the fate of my family resting on my ability to talk to strangers, much less be charming. I imagine this is how Henry VIII felt, except of course that I don't have Estates, or Titles, or the Crown of England to worry about. There is a Gr/ay New York, but the only thing I know about it is that is has a cemetery.

This is of course, mostly insane. But sanity usually not the first adjective used to describe my family. We even have the medical records and court documents to prove it. On the other hand, I do love my family a lot and I am proud to be counted among them. I know it seems like a very old fashioned idea, maybe you have to be raised in my family to understand it, and I clearly can't really explain it. I just think it would be sad if the Gr/ay family died out.

When Stars Get Hurt

2006-07-12T14:45:00.000-04:00

A long time ago, Tommy had a website that featured among other things the video of Pacey from Dawson's Creek getting a basketball thrown in his face. We would just watch the clip over and over again. What was mildly amusing once became brilliant when seen about 10 times straight. I am pretty sure that that one moment was the highlight of Dawson's Creek.

In a similar vein, let me link to a video of Jared Leto's band performing at the 9:30 club. If you fast forward to around 3:20 you will witness Jared falling, and not gracefully mind you, on his head. It is pretty great, but I really need to find some way to edit it so I can watch the relevant section over and over again. I should mention that I don't have speaks attached to this computer, so I have no idea what any of it sounds like. I have a feeling that that may be the preferred method.

I was originally not going to post it, but in the comment section for the video people were complaining that the video was being used to make fun of Jared Leto. I remembered that I am not a good person and felt compelled to link to it. In case and 30 Seconds to Mars fans come over, let me say that I have nothing against Jared Leto or 30STM, I just think it is funny when famous people hurt themselves. Really funny. Is that so wrong?

Merriweather: The Gift That Keeps On Giving...

2006-07-10T11:46:00.000-04:00

So I accompanied some friends to the Ted Leo, Broken Social Scene, Belle and Sebastian show at Merriweather Post on Saturday. While I looked forward to the concert, I did dread going to Merriweather. In the past, I have had problems getting the venue in time for concerts, or finding that I couldn't see the stage from the lawn and that the screens are broken. I actually hate the venue.

The people that I went with hadn't been to Merriweather before, and had only my complaining to guide them. Well, we got there in plenty of time and found seats, proving that every complaint that I had was unfounded and that I was a liar. Great.

So we settle in and enjoy a nice, albeit abbreviated set by Ted Leo. Then Kriston and I got up to walk around and see what we could see. We walked over to where they were selling T-Shirts, because you need a T-Shirt to prove that you were there and other people were not. As we are perusing the merchandise a bee just flies up and stings me near my eye. Without provocation! At first, I am not sure that I got that I got stung, it just kinda feels like something flew into my eye. Then Kriston confirms that my eye is in fact starting to swell, confirming that I did in fact get stung.

The people at Merriweather were nice enough to give me a bag filled with ice, and I spent most of the rest of the concert sitting on the lawn holding a bag of ice to my face. For the rest of the night my eye just kinda hurt, but nothing too bad.

When I woke up on Sunday, my eye had started to swell. It looked like had been in a fight. Which was nice, I may have gotten a swollen eye but the assailant ended up broken with his guts all over the pavement. How often can you say that?

When I woke up this morning, my left eye had pretty much swollen shut. This completely freaked me out. I almost woke up Tommy to have him drive me the Emergency Room. I ended up getting in touch with my parents and my aunt who is a nurse. It turns out that this swelling is completely normal, and could continue for a few more days. It was comforting to hear that a life threatening allergic reaction would have already occurred. I took some over the counter medication and the swelling has gone down considerably. I am back to being a bad Thom Yorke impersonator.

The moral of this story is that Merriweather Post Pavilion is the worst music venue in the country and if you go there you will get stung by a bee. In addition to never going back to Merriweather, I have decided to carry a spray bottle of bee killer on me at all times and wear it on my belt like a wild west gunslinger. And not any nice "environmentally-safe" bee killer, but industrial leave a trail of bodies and anything else that gets in the way serious as shit bee killer. I am considering having my chemical-engineering friend Jeff concoct something so potent and deadly that it can't be sold commercially. So bees, you are on notice!

I Am a Hate-Filled Bastard

2006-07-07T09:35:00.000-04:00

Last night at the DCist Happy Hour I realized what an awful person I am. While I am not the most gregarious person, I found myself opining at length on various topics. It was later when I took stock what those topics were that I realized the monster that I have become.

Apparently the only things that feel passionately about, and am willing to discuss at length are: atrocities committed by Philadelphia sports fans, and my general hatred of Mormons and Utah. I don't know exactly how this happened. I am not quite sure when I went from passive dislike to intense hatred. I assume it was a smooth transition.

The problem is that my hatred has created a singular focus. Rather than be content to just be irritated when I run across say an Eagles fan, I go out in search for examples in an act of self flagellation. Sure it hurts as swells of blinding anger rush over me, but it also feels so good to be right.

I think the problem is that I find myself only speaking really passionately when I am acting like a hate-filled little bastard. And there is more to me than just hate, or at least I hope there is.

In other news, this might be the single most offensive movie to hit theaters. It is one thing to glorify drug dealers and murders, but the sadistic fans of a franchise that hasn't actually ever won anything? I mean at least a drug dealer provides jobs for the community, what has an Eagles fan ever done?

Also, fans of Big Love might find this Salon article interesting. And yes I realize that the people in question are not recognized by the official Mormon church.

Does That Make Him Crazy?

2006-07-05T12:07:00.000-04:00

One of the books that I am reading now is "The Vintage Guide to Classical Music" by Jan Swafford. It is a series of essays about the life and work of the great composers.

What I love about that book is that all of the great composers are crazy. We like to envision our classical composers as respectable staid individuals. I am almost through the romantic period, and I have met a good number of alcoholics, beggars, and a surprising number of artists driven insane by syphilis. A lot of these guys could give Keith Richards some competition in the decadent, self destructive race. It is really quite fantastic.

I just finished a section on Tchaikovsky, and there is a passage that is to fantastic and must be shared with everyone.

"Though during an early attempt at conduction he [Tchaikovsky] had developed the hallucination that his head was falling off (through the piece he held on to it with one hand)." Page 321

Weekend Roundup

2006-06-26T16:02:00.000-04:00

So, what a weekend. Warning, this is a rambling whiny post whose purpose is to serve my mental health.

I worked Friday night as my restaurant hosted a local chapter of the Hash House Harriers. For those who don't know, "Hashers" are runners who drink, run to drink more, then finish the evening with more drinking. According to Wikipedia, the tradition has British origins, which makes sense because the people in this group tipped about as well as British people. One guy actually managed to tip my 73 cents on one checked then opened another and tipped me 10 cents. As a word of warning, the next time I know that the group is running I am calling the police and informing them that people are drinking in public.

The other thing they did, and this is actually very bad, was bring the remainders of their running beers into the restaurant and finishing them. This behavior could get my restaurant in a lot of trouble.

I worked a fairly unremarkable shift on Saturday. We had a group of 14 come in, and when my bartender asked if they were celebrating anything, the woman on the phone answered that they had just buried her mother. This knowledge really prevented me from being my normal charming self. For example, questions like "How are you all doing this evening?" were just out of the question.

I played two very emotional church services on Sunday. My church said goodbye to a beloved pastor who had been at our church for 14 years. She had a hand in every part of my church that I love. She was forced out of the church in some very ugly backroom dealings. A tip for my friends who will eventually get married and decide that their kids need to go to church, avoid the politics at all cost. The combination of faith, friends, money, and political views makes for some very ugly dealings. Add people acting nice to each other, because it is a church, and things get very cold and vindictive and decidedly un-Christian. But she will be missed by a good many people in our church, including myself.

So I finally get home around 9:30 on Sunday hoping to watch Deadwood and Entourage, then go to bed and put the miserable weekend behind me. Well all of the rain has blocked our satellite signal, so no HBO. Then around 11:00 my mom calls me. She is home alone and the basement of my house is flooded. So I head out to Arlington, negotiate numerous street closings, get to my house and find my mother in the basement with a bucket and about 6 inches of water. There are coolers and litterboxes and lord knows what floating around. The only thing to do is grab a bucket and start bailing. We finished around 1:30, but at least I got a great lat work out.

I didn't go to work today so I could hopefully finish the process of registering my car. In a bit of good news, my car passed inspection! Yeah! So I go to the DMV triumphantly, knowing that I am finally going to be done with this whole car thing only to find that the DMV is closed on Monday. I guess this is my fault, I didn't look to see if the DMV would be open on Monday, but in my defense I just can't fathom how a DMV can be closed on a Monday, much less every Monday.

So I returned home dejected and beaten and now I am drinking Scotch. My current problem is that I finished the last of my Scotch and worry about my Scotch supplies for the rest of the night. So how was your weekend?

Soccer Sucks!

2006-06-22T14:18:00.000-04:00

Now that the US is out of the world cup I think it is time to engage in one of my favorite pastimes, being a sore loser.

Soccer is a stupid sport. America lost because we don't care about this stupid sport, and if we did we would win every time.

Before Darren starts yelling at me, let me say that I actually do like watching soccer, and that in reality it is a fine sport. But I have been thinking about something Marc Fisher wrote in one of his recent chats:

"Marc Fisher: Don't worry--soon after they arrive, they will discover the complexities and rituals of other sports and free themselves from the chains of the single-sport obsessions of their homelands."

I think this is true. It is no wonder that Soccer is the most popular sport in the world because the rest of the sports that the world plays suck more.

Lets us take England as an example. England is a wealthy, highly educated country with amazingly crappy sports. Lets say you are a kid growing up in Leeds. What are you going to get excited about? Polo? It is like hockey, but with animals shitting all over the place. Rugby? It is like football, but manages to be both violent and boring.

And then there is Cricket. Cricket which might be the single stupidest game ever invented. From the Wikipedia entry:

"Generally, the batsman attempts to strike the ball with the bat, and run to the other end, exchanging places with his partner, scoring a run. However, he can attempt to run without hitting the ball, and vice versa. While the batting team scores as many runs as it can, the bowling team returns the ball back to either wicket. If the ball strikes a wicket before the batsman nearer to that wicket has reached safety then the batsman is out, or "dismissed". The batsman can also be out by failing to stop the bowled ball from hitting the wicket, or if a fielder catches the ball before it touches the ground. Once the batsmen are not attempting to score any more runs, the ball is "dead" and is bowled again."

I highlighted my favorite line. Idiots stand on a field and just randomly try to run back and forth between two sticks. If you can't make it, don't bother running. And what is worse, this altar to absurdity lasts for 3-5 days. Some of you are probably want to make comparisons to Baseball, which is fine as long as you accept that Baseball makes sense and Cricket does not.

So kick away citizens of the world, what other options do you have?